[rodes123]

This is my first time posting in one of these forums and thats a little scary but frankly, I need help. For the last few years I feel like I've been on a rollercoaster of highs and lows, moments when I feel ok and can laugh and enjoy life, but then weeks at a time where I feel like I'm living in a fog, nearly always on the brink of tears or completely apathetic to everything around me. I always just thought this was part of being a teenager, but its become unbearable. I have no energy, I sleep all day, and I have no passion inside of me. I don't know how express affection to those I care about and I feel completely emotionless around family and others I'm supposed to care about. I used to love to read and learn, but now I don't even have the energy to read more than a few pages. I party whenever I can because it helps me forget, but I'm fully aware I'm using alcohol as a crutch and that fills me with guilt. I constantly worry that I'm on the brink of unraveling and am scared that I'll never be able to combat this. I asked my mom if I could start seeing a therapist, but I can't even open up to her about this. I feel like I'm being dramatic and that should just be able to snap out of this, but I don't know what to do. I just feel like I'm wasting away but I don't know if this is something that everyone is going through around me, or if I really need help?
Any input/advice would be appreciated, thank you

[Wren_]

Hi,
I wasn't sure if you meant you had trouble opening up to a therapist or to your mother? If you mean your therapist it can take time to feel comfortable about sharing with someone new ... hopefully you will be able to talk about the fear of unravelling more as time goes by. Meanwhile, welcome to PC

[Little Jay]

Hello,
I completely can relate to you with this, I have been feeling this way since I was 14 (I'm now 19) and I understand how hard it is to open up to your parents and worrying what they might think or about disappointing them.
My parents didn't find out until they got a call that I was in hospital after attempting suicide when I was 15 - they were so worried but also so supportive it made me realise that I'd let it go on too long and I should have opened up, after all your Mum loves you and will always be there for you. You don't have to worry about letting her down or that she will think you're being over dramatic, take it from my experience.
Even now my parents are so supportive, even though I've grown up and moved out and working they are still always there for me and checking how I'm coping.
For now, here is a brilliant place to vent and find support and advice. Everyone is so kind and no matter how silly I think my problems may be, there is always a whole load of supportive wonderful people here to help you through it. What did your Mum say when you asked about seeing a therapist? Did she say she would consider it? It always helps to have someone you can open up to who knows just what to say and how to help. Big hugs xx

[rodes123]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

Hi,
I wasn't sure if you meant you had trouble opening up to a therapist or to your mother? If you mean your therapist it can take time to feel comfortable about sharing with someone new ... hopefully you will be able to talk about the fear of unravelling more as time goes by. Meanwhile, welcome to PC

Sorry I took so long to respond, but both of them frankly, but at this point I've given up opening up to my mom. And I hope so too, thanks!

[Altered Moment]

How old are you rodes123?

It started for me as a teenager. 13. I discovered pot and alcohol and occasionally other things. I used this to cope for a long time. Of course that is not a good solution. I look back and I know that at 13 is when I started to experience severe depression. I think the drugs and alcohol allowed me to cope and do pretty well up through high school. After high school the depression started getting much worse. I was very lost at this point.

I have a long tale that I won't get into now but I wish I could have gotten the help I needed back then. I probably wouldn't have been willing at that time anyway but who knows.

The thing is you are recognizing things and want to get help. That is a very powerful thing. The earlier you start getting help and dealing with these issues in a healthy way the better off you will be. Drugs and alcohol don't count as a healthy way. My daughter went through her whole teenage years in a similar way. We did get her help and she has learned to be very open and willing to reach out when she needs it. I think she mostly grew out of it though. She is 21 and is doing 500% better than she was as a teenager. During her teenage years she did learn a lot about herself and developed self awareness and what works for her and what doesn't. It took time but thank god she is doing so good now.

[IrisBloom]

I so wish I could help you. You need to try talking to your parents if you are under 18. You don't have to tell them everything, but get the point across that you really feel like you need help. If they can't help is there another adult who would be in a position to help you?

[Pierro]

I dont think that you are being dramatic at all, in fact you are being practical about things and that is a good thing. Being aware of drinking is great because most people are in denial about things like that. Sometimes its harder to open up to your closest and its a good idea that you see a therapist,

best wishes

[woundedsoul]

Originally Posted by rodes123

This is my first time posting in one of these forums and thats a little scary but frankly, I need help. For the last few years I feel like I've been on a rollercoaster of highs and lows, moments when I feel ok and can laugh and enjoy life, but then weeks at a time where I feel like I'm living in a fog, nearly always on the brink of tears or completely apathetic to everything around me. I always just thought this was part of being a teenager, but its become unbearable. I have no energy, I sleep all day, and I have no passion inside of me. I don't know how express affection to those I care about and I feel completely emotionless around family and others I'm supposed to care about. I used to love to read and learn, but now I don't even have the energy to read more than a few pages. I party whenever I can because it helps me forget, but I'm fully aware I'm using alcohol as a crutch and that fills me with guilt. I constantly worry that I'm on the brink of unraveling and am scared that I'll never be able to combat this. I asked my mom if I could start seeing a therapist, but I can't even open up to her about this. I feel like I'm being dramatic and that should just be able to snap out of this, but I don't know what to do. I just feel like I'm wasting away but I don't know if this is something that everyone is going through around me, or if I really need help?
Any input/advice would be appreciated, thank you

It sounds to me like you need to seek professional help. I had seen several therapists until I found the right one. I'm not sure if you're already on a medicaton and have a a diagnosis?