[Brentlyp]

Those are 4 words I absolutely hate! Am I the only one that feels like that is one of the most hurtful things someone can say. I feel like it's someone's way of saying that they don't really care. I'm not stupid I know it could be worse, but what's going on with me is real and it hurts, and to be honest there have been times in my past that I didn't feel like it could be worse. I would get so low that I would wish for release from everything. I think wishing for that is about as bad as it can get. Yes I have a job and a home and a family that really does care(even though they don't understand) but when you struggle with depression you sometimes don't think that way. I do care for those that do have it bad I care very deeply, but sometimes the hurt in my soul takes over and nothing is worse. Does that make me selfish? Just wondering if anyone else feels this way from time to time?

[Avatar10]

I feel exactly the same as you, right now. When I am very low I hate it when people say 'it could be worse', 'better now than later', etc. As for me, this is THE WORST.

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[Hellion]

I find it a bit obnoxious I mean things could potentially be worse in life, but that doesn't change how I feel. I have gotten to the point of attempting suicide I don't think there is really much worse feelings than resorting to that because that is how horrible you feel well I guess worrying I'd succeed at it isn't a very pleasant feeling either. Honestly I am starting to care less and less about my life circumstances and don't know that it getting better or worse would have much effect one way or another, because my brain is already screwed up.

[-jimi-]

When people have reminded me it could be worse I always think, then it also can GET worse!!! And I do not need to think about that..... Urk.

[smmath]

I do not like that statement, but I use it with myself often. It is a way I can use to minimize what is going on with me, therefore it seems unkind to say that to someone else. Hugs

[LifeIsCruel]

I agree!!!!

Or they say, "There are people worse off than yourself." Okay....knowing someone has it worse helps me how???

I mean, are we supposed to feel better because of this????

[freefallin]

Someone on here once told me that I have it better than others because at least I have a room to cry in. Nevermind the fact that I live in an abusive situation, but even if I didn't, telling someone who's depressed to be grateful they have somewhere to be depressed is really hurtful. That upset me a lot.

[birdpumpkin]

Can you believe I heard this after our fire in which we lost everything?? I suppose it could. My husband and son survived. We were all okay. A couple weeks later there was a fire in which 2 of the 4 children died, so yeah, that was pretty bad. But 8 of my 10 cats died and 2 were gone and I felt as if my whole world had just collapsed, so... I don't know. Things can always be worse, yeah, but I think when you're going through something, things are bad enough as they are, and it's hard to deal with as it is. I think about the parents who lost their kids in their fire; and I know it has to be so hard for them, but that's their loss, their struggle. I can only deal with my own, and I'm still trying to pick myself up off the floor.

[freefallin]

I do think there are some situations where it's appropriate to say "It could be worse," but they don't involve discounting another person's pain. For instance, when I had a finger prick diabetes test at the doctor and the nurse was extremely apologetic about having to prick me, my response was, "There are worse things that could happen to me."

Also, I went back to school to take pre-med classes after graduating in a different major a few years prior. Having been exposed to the "real world" for a few years and realizing how much more it sucks than school, I really wanted to tell some of the students that they don't know how good they had it when they would whine about how terrible their lives were because they had to write a paper or work on a group project. Obviously, I didn't say that to them, but that's another situation where I felt the whining really was completely eyerolly.

[BlueMoonBlueEarth]

It is true that things can be worse, but it does sound like a way of dismissing somebody's feelings, and that's one of the worst things somebody can do. Most depressed people, including myself, realize that there are people worse off than themselves, so telling them that things can be worse does not help at all. Right now I have a hurt foot, but am I supposed to feel better knowing that somebody out there has broken their leg? No, I am not, otherwise not only would I come across as immature, but a sadist.

[lovesdogs99]

I agree with you so much. But I talk about my mental illness people say, "well least you're not starving in Afric, at least you have two legs, at least you dont have cancer." Its not that think I'm worse off but hearing that people have other disabilities isn't going to make my mental illness any better! Like I'd rather be starving in Africa than stuck where I am!

[Clara22]

I do not know about Africa but I became severally disabled in my youth, and it was better than my depression currently. Everything is subjective, people should know better

[flours]

Is it possible that this sentence sometimes is a failed attempt to say "look at the good things"?

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by Emma8432

I agree with you so much. But I talk about my mental illness people say, "well least you're not starving in Afric, at least you have two legs, at least you dont have cancer." Its not that think I'm worse off but hearing that people have other disabilities isn't going to make my mental illness any better! Like I'd rather be starving in Africa than stuck where I am!

Also there is that the entire continent of Africa is not starving in the first place. There are also areas in South America and even North America where people are without enough food to sustain themselves so I always find it odd people never refer to other places starvation exists....but of course if someone is depressed to they really want to be starving anywhere on top of that? probably not so how is it helpful to say at least your not in that situation, but other people are so feel better because they are worse off

Also I don't feel better thinking of other people being in worse situations, I also don't really think it is healthy to have other peoples difficulties make you feel better in the first place...so why people encourage it I don't get.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by flours

Is it possible that this sentence sometimes is a failed attempt to say "look at the good things"?

When you have depression it ends up turning in 'you can look, but don't touch or actually experience any of it'.

[flours]

Originally Posted by Hellion

When you have depression it ends up turning in 'you can look, but don't touch or actually experience any of it'.

I know.

[caseygirl]

Yes, it could be worse angers me also, and that's not even getting into the suicide subject which is even more misunderstood. "How could she be so selfish to attempt suicide, she has everything to live for, a good husband, family, a good job". "She's only thinking of herself".

Selfish? Try living for years with never-ending depression where everything is black and feeling so hopeless and helpless, where everyday is the same.

[flours]

once someone gave me an entire speech about how he is sick of people like me who complain although they are not poor or physically sick and there is no war in my country and that I've never learned how hard life can be. like I've never lived in reality and had actual problems.
I thought before we were somewhere close to being friends but that person knew nothing about me except from superficial information like how I look and where I come from and judged me like that.

keep thinking about it although it's more than a year ago.

[-jimi-]

Originally Posted by freefallin

Someone on here once told me that I have it better than others because at least I have a room to cry in.

When "support" starts with "at least", stop listening.

[shamon86]

I believe in never trying to compare your feelings and situation to someone else's. Every person had their own struggles they have to overcome and while from an outside perspective, yes someone may have it worse then you or I do, It doesn't make our problems less real and less painful.