[surry19]

I am engaged to a 41 year old man who i found out recently has a teenager fetish and gets off while looking at the pics of teens..even tho he said he has stopped an i am sure he has it has made me depressed i cant sleep.. havent slept in almost 2 days .. all this has made me hate myself so much i wish i was dead. I feel old and disgusting now around him and i have to go down the road for walks just to get away from him then i temp feel beter. I dont know how i can leave him because i love him so much but at the same time that has maked me so depressed i just cant stand it and im afraid ill never get over that.

I would just like someone's advice and what they would do if they were in my shoes i don't know if it will help me any but at least i am geting a chance to get this out of my system a little i guess.

[shezbut]

I am sorry that you're in such pain and fear, surry.

What made your bf bring up this issue?? Did it come up out of the blue, or was it due to a physical reaction you saw & questioned him about? Just curious why this has come up now.

Gentle hugs to you ~ you are in my thoughts & best wishes!

[surry19]

i accidently found websites where he had been going to sites to check out teens and he admited his fetish

[Uprwestsdr]

My heart goes out to you. I can tell you what I'd do: leave. I've learned we're powerless over other people and there's nothing I can do or say that will change someone else. But this isn't what I want for myself, my life. It's easier when you don't get confrontational and leave quickly. "This simply isn't working out for me."

[Snowy83]

I'm so sorry you are going through this hard time, your love to him make it so hard to decide what to do....however, why don't you ask yourself one question: do you love him enough to endure the suspicion of him continuing this fetish in the future even when he told you he has stopped?

I can't tell you what I would have done because I don't know how much you love him, so my action wouldn't be able to reflect how you would do. But this is sick....I understand most men like young girls and all, but he seems obsessed with them to a level that I can't accept. And I would feel so insecure about myself too as I'm not a young girl. Maybe you should take a break from him, not see him for a while until you sort out your thoughts and know what to do. Hope you will come out of this ok

[melstar]

I am sorry that you are having to go through this right now!! I don't know if you are a praying person or not, but if you are I would pray about it, surrender it to your higher power and see what happens.

I have to agree with what has been said already, this is a sick behavior, and I too would project this onto myself and feel less then adequate. I have to agree with taking some time away to just think the whole situation over and coming up with the situation that best fit YOU. YOU ultimately have to be the one that needs to be happy with the choice you make, not him. I know you love him, but if you are not happy with things that he is doing then what is going to change in the future that will make you happy with the same behaviors. Remember YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY!!!

[shezbut]

(((surry)))

I am sorry to hear that he admitted to having a fetish for teenage girls. While it is positive that he didn't come up with a baloney story and deny the truth, I know that I wouldn't be able to accept his desires.

But, that is me. Some people are able to accept fantasies of their SO, as long as they've arranged commitment to always be true with one another (and keep their fantasies just that). I have no idea of the stats of this acceptance and arrangement, but I suppose that statistics don't really matter. In the end, what truly matters is what YOU need from your relationship.