sooo sad and I hate it

this evening I messed up so bad I was crying and thing about My daughter and how She don't visit me and I was a wreck about everything and I was waiting for My 5pm meds for 40 minuets I had some sort of anxeity attack and I put My fist into the wall that was soo stupid cause I just hurt myself and scraped up my hand of course but it was dumb I hate feeling so overwhelmed and out of control.and depressed.and crying all the time my meds dont seem to work,
and nothing seems to work thats why I feel so helpless

am so sorry ((((((((((((((((tita))))))))))))))))))

{{{{{{{{{tita}}}}}}}}}

(((((((((((((((( tita ))))))))))))))))

Today was a little better except for the fact I didn't get a pass to go home this week end and I'm stuck in this prison (nursing home) so I will do like I do most days cigerette,then play spades, then go online and try to keep a smile on the outside even though I feel empty
inside I spoke to the dr today and asked to speak to the phyciatrist so maybe my anti depresant can be raised but of course he wont be available till next week

Lean on us till then, tita.

You can hang out under the umbrella with us.

Maybe we can help fill up some of the emptiness.

tita, i'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time right now. i wish that i could come by and bring you some sour cream cookies and we'd have them with tea. since i cannot do that, i'm sending you really positive vibes and will be thinking of you this evening. love, pat

Sounds like a good decision you've made: see about increasing (or even changing) the medication. I hope you have someone to talk with... keeping such anger (at life especially) can really tear us up inside too. TC