Batten down the hatches!

My depression is taking over again, driving me insane in a literal sense. I truly hate the holidays because of what it does to me. I haven't seen my family in 8 years, My friends live all over the country, I live alone, I listen to depressing bands like Snow Patrol, I have self harm thoughts. I feel I am wasting away again. I don't really want to be hospitalized again. On a plus note I quit smoking but not sure if this is the right time to quit. It tends to add more stress than anything. The weather is starting to suck. Cold and Grey. Not my cup of tea, I knew I should of moved back down south, but no no I thought I liked this city. I do. But I really hate the winter. Who else hates the winter???? I know I shouldnt complain, there are Canadians and Russians that have it much much worse. I just feel like *****in. Sorry.

As I get older (almost 40) finding I hate winter! I'm in NY and so I know how you're feeling. I just got in touch with an old friend last night after 15 years who moved from NY to Reading PA, just mentioning that since I see you're in PA also. Anyway I want to be a snowbird! I'm not working so having heat on is stressing me out ugh

Bless your heart Chandler -- can you see a therapist? Or are you already seeing one? I hope so. Cause you really need to.

Do you WANT to see your family? Or is there a problem there? Not trying to be nosy, but it would be nice to be with family on the holidays if you can.

I live in Michigan and right now we're in such a dense fog, that I can't see the high school which is right next door! It's "fairly" warm out for November, but I know that's not going to last long. I've lived here all my life, so I'm used to the snow, ice, etc. Of course that doesn't mean I LIKE it.

I pray you begin to feel better. I'm feeling "so-sp." My meds are doing fairly well. I'm on Cymbalta, the maximum dosage, and that's working quite well. The holidays tho have a HUGE effect on me. I hate the holidays, and can't WAIT until January. God bless and please take GOOD care of yourself, okay? Prayers coming your way. Hugs, Lee

I am off the wall with regards to cold weather. I complain less about weather when it's cold. Yet it is strange, the heat does not bother me that much. I put up with it. It has a lot to do with patience of finding positive things in such extremes in tempature.