I'm so freaking lonely

I’ve gotten used to being single and having few friends, but… *******it, I just feel so freaking lonely sometimes. I just wish I had someone to cuddle with, to talk to whenever I feel like it, to just be there for me. To even love me, maybe.

I don't know how to change this. I feel so alone. And then I get so mad at happy people because I'm not one of them.

I've tried meeting new people, I've tried online dating. Nothing worked, nothing helped. I just end up by myself eventually.

I feel like crying, but I think I have no tears left. I just feel so empty.

The one really positive person in my life is my therapist, but I've been through a phase of painful obsession with her and I don't want to go back to that place. She understands and encourages me so well, but she can't give me what I need.

Other people seem to be able to find love and happiness so easily. And I think I'm a good person; so why can't it work for me?

Often, I'd just like to strike up a conversation with people I meet in every day life. I'd like to think I have nothing to lose; but then I remember (and this is important to me) that most people already have a big network of friends and acquaintances and aren't lonely. They wouldn't need me half as much as I'd need them. They wouldn't care if some weird lonely person started talking to them.

Sometimes I think life is so unfair.

I completely understand everything you said and feel the exact same way. It's hard not to be bitter. I try to bring this up to my T and he tells me not to dwell on being alone and to try to think of all the ways I'm working on it. But it's just easier said than done.

I know what that's like. It's like dry heaves.

What kind of thinking is that? People aren't so "stingy" (I don't think) so as to not give some friendship to a new friend. Maybe they don't even know you're lonely; they probably would think you're just another one of them. LOL

That's because life IS -- at least, if your definition of "unfair" is "not the way I would prefer it to be". A garden doesn't grow unless you apply yourself; life isn't going to automatically "grow roses (rather, weeds and thorns)", either.

Hi I feel that way too about making friends. The opportunity hasn't come up much but I know this one person who is so nice but she is obviously happy and I remember seeing her calendar and list of friends numbers when she took mine...and I just thought "she doesn't need me she has enough in her life" But should we really think that way...as though we could really know if we wouldn't be appreciated as their friend too? I'm so lonely too.

I know exactly how you feel. My girl lives in Washington and I live in Arizona and I get suuuuuper lonelly all the time especially when my mom gives me grief and I can't get any physical comfort from my fiancee. I miss her a lot but we're trying to be strong for each other.

You will find the right person someday. I didn't technically find mine, she found me and started talking to me. The same will happen for you. As far as friends go, I still don't have very many sadly...mostly because every person I meet in my state is P-H-O-N-Y, phony with a capital P. It's really sad.

I understand. I am lonely too.

Krissy

I find this happening with me irl. Irl my trust has been broken. And usually the circle of friends pair up and get married and/or just never invested the effort to develop friendship with me. And moving many times during the years also makes it hard, especially if you left feeling alone and down. And the last met, first let go rule sometimes is used. After awhile, I notice I do not have a clinging attitude towards anyone who befriends me. As motivational speakers state, "you need to attract the right people". Right now, I am tryin to get the right coping mechanism to find the people. So, right now, I feel like those who have posted to this thread. there is also a social club at PC where lonely people can connect to others who are feeling the same.

Yes, I feel extremely lonely as well. I mean, I really am alone, no one else can see what's in my head. No one else knows how I feel and never will, I don't believe there is anything more lonesome than that thought. I hate being human, I hate these needs, I just wish I never existed.

Yeah, I get that feeling of intense loneliness, it's one of the main symptoms I experience. I do my best to reach out to people and make new friends, because I'm in a new place and need friends. I've been surprised a few times at how much people want to spend time with me. But even when I have friends around, I can feel so alone in the world. This is about my interpretation of the world, much less about the actual "reality".

RJ

One thing that I have learned since being diagnosed with depression is that things aren't always what they appear to be on the outside. Everyone is fighting some kind of battle. That new person you are considering starting a conversation with might just need that kind word as much as, or even more than you do. My best advice would be to go for it. Say hello. You never know when you might find a new friend or someone you share interests with. We tend to be our own harshest critics, I know I am mine. I think most people are lonely, at least to a certain extent, or at least would like to make a new friend. Also, remember that even people with "big networks of friends" can be lonely too. I know that even with my loving family and friends I still feel loneliness. Hang in there.