Miserable....

My depression has gotten worse since I was forced to come out to my mom a couple of suncdays ago. I was going to wait until a later time but my dad backstabbed me and told my mom anyway. I had told her before that I was homosexual but she didn't believe me. I feel so alone right nw. I have no one to talk to other than my fiancee and half the time she is busy with school, homework, and chores. No one understand me or the way I feel...everytime I try to talk to someone at my school, they'll listen for a second then ignore me and act strange towards me and whats worse is that the other day, my parents were talking about me behind my back. My mom is completely judgmental and I'm pretty much trapped in the house with my parents until I am financially stable enough to leave which wont be for a long time. I really hate it here and I don't know what to do. Many times I wanted to kill myself. I am just so miserable and I don't know what to do. I hate myself and I hate my life...

I'm sorry that you feel this way. Sometimes people just don't know how to act around people who go through what we do. I've had some people from the AA meetings I go to start avoiding me lately because I've been more open about my situation.

I agree...some people are so rediculously uncompassionate that it is sad.

Dear Troubled Angel, please do not despair. You are still very young and it will get infinitely better for you in years to come! Your mother has no right to be judgemental just because she gave birth to you. Walk tall and straight and look them in the eyes! You have nothing at all to be ashamed of. It is your mother who should be ashamed of her prejudice and lack of support for her own daughter. Please don´t hate yourself, you have no reason to.

Thank you so much. I truly appreciate your kind words.

I'm in the exact same position as you, except I don't have a boyfriend/girlfriend. It feels like there is no way out of this hopeless situation, and no one understands you, so you feel trapped.

I found this article from another thread, and it really blew my mind. It just might be the solution we're looking for, give it a read.

Thanks for sharing this. I can only say that when you graduate, you can find a school or job that suits you and a peer group that welcomes you. You don't deserve the ridicule or negativity. As hard as it may seem, you must find little things day to day to focus on.

Yeah, that's a hard and tricky situation. Often when one comes out to their parents, it's the young person coming out who has to parent their parent! Keep in mind that you have done NOTHING wrong, and give your Mom a bit of time to get over herself and her prejudices. Try to avoid getting sucked into any drama; you don't have anything to explain to anyone about your sexuality.

There are several groups that you could suggest your Mom join - is there a PFLAG chapter near where you live? They also have lots of information for parents of young LGBT youth, so that you don't have to explain all this stuff to your Mom. Rely on these resources, they exist to make your path a little bit less treacherous.

Keep us posted!!

RJ

That's exactly how I feel sometimes. I am feeling a little better now but the problems still kind of well linger around. I love my girl and always will love her and despite our disagreements, I love her a lot. I just need help with communicating better with her. I'm coping with the situation of being at home but I am still trying my hardest to find a job so I can start making money. It's very hard finding work.

I agree with you entirely. And indeed I have. I love to write and pretty much stay to myself and occupy my time. It's hard but I'm coping. I don't talk about my homosexuality to my mom very much. She asked me not to speak about it but a few days ago she had brought it back up and tried her hand at judging me and my girl again. It was tough but I immediately seeked counseling.

I cant wait to graduate and leave. I want so badly to move with my girl.

Believe me, my mom will not attend them even if I asked. She literally does not believe I am lesbian and still tries to pressure me into liking guys. It's really frustrating and annoying but I'm coping. I'm staying out of her way. However, I will not deny my feelings for my fiancee. I love, adore, and truly want to marry her and I will. My mom will eventually have to come to terms and accept it.

Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it.

That's too bad. Have you ever listened to Savage Love, he gives great advice about love and relationships, and talks quite a bit about coming out and its difficulties.

I'm glad to hear that you're able to stay away from your Mom now and good luck finding a job!

RJ

I haven't but I will look him up.

Thank you.