How to get over my friend who used me?

I posted this on another site similar to this and got really rude responses, saying I was making a big deal out of nothing. Let me say this first. This girl called me her best friend for 2 years and I believed her. I had never had best friend, or even a friend, for over four years because of my shyness so this incident has made me extremely depressed.

Anyway she transferred from Japan. We hung out a lot and when I got my car she asked me to drive her everywhere. Eventually she had me buying her stuff. I didn't mind because her parents were always busy and apparently I was the only friend she felt comfortable with asking. Also she was my friend.

Well before she left to go back to Japan, she told me she wanted to take pictures of her with her friends. She asked me to take them and I did. She dragged me around for about 30 minutes, but at the time I didn't have a problem with it. After she was done she said she had to go and forgot about the picture of us. I reminded her so we took one. Well apparently her mom wouldn't pick up the phone so I ended up driving her home (which is about an hour from my house btw). Here's what made me sad. When I got home, I saw that she had uploaded all the pictures except for the ones we took together. What made me even more sad was that she deleted a picture I uploaded of us awhile back. When I asked her what happened to our pictures, she said "I don't know." Never heard from her again after that. Now I don't trust anyone. I always feel like people are trying to use me and it's just a bad feeling. I don't know what to do.

I'm so sorry this happened. I was "best friends" with someone for seven years. One day she skipped town and I found out she had an unpaid bill in my name and had trashed the apartment she was renting from my grandpa. I too used to drive her everywhere. You aren't "making a big deal out of nothing". You have every reason to be hurt. The incident with my so called friend has made me weary of letting people get too close. This is one aspect I have started working on with my therapist. Do you think seeing a therapist would help you? Otherwise, I would try to confide in people that would be understanding. Unfortunately some people use the internet to be intentionally nasty to people. I'm sorry you had that experience elsewhere. I have found this board to be very supportive and understanding.

Seven years? That's horrible. I'm sorry that happened. Being used is a terrible thing. The people in the other forum were saying things like "I hope you didn't offend this poor girl by making such a big deal out of nothing." The only thing I asked her was "What happened to our pictures?" Nothing else. I think I might go see a therapist if I can't learn to trust people on my own soon.

Hey there...I cant relate..Ive lost best friends over the yrs due to my disorder...from acting nuttier fruiicake at times...But hey real friends stick with you through the thick and the thin...Screw her, you ought change your perspective and think your better off now...she sounds like a user and basically had little respect for you probably because your shy...Dont worry bout it...I know easier said and done...Move on lifes short were all dying slowly but surely one by one...Keep your head up high and youll find better friends then that sooner or later...

It's very difficult, I understand what you experienced. That's why I don't have a best friend. In fact, now, my best friend is a 20 yr cat and 2 yr old cackatiel. So, I understand the whole situation you had to go through.

I find it's easier for me to share my feelings with my therapist rather than people I'm close to. Don't ask me why but my first instinct is to keep it all inside and push them away. Either way you can share things with us on here! Take care!

Hi Kitsune girl ~ I'm so sorry this happened. This "friend" obviously turned out to be a USER big time. And I'm sure this isn't the first time she's done this, cause she certainly was sly about it. She had it "down pat." So I know she's done this before.

Please don't judge everyone by this idiot. Not all people are like her. The majority of people are good. They aren't out to "get" you. So try to trust people, only make them EARN your trust. Don't trust them immediately. They've got to SHOW you that they are trust-worthy.

I wish you the very best, my friend. Please take care -- and God bless. Hugs, Lee

Kitsune girl...I can very much relate to what you went through with this person...I have had my fair share of such people in life as well...I too had a couple of older girl friends whom I allowed to treat me like a doormat...I made the big mistake of trusting them too quickly and I let them use me for their own interests...I was always begging them for attention pouring out all my secrets to them making myself think they are the only ones who can save me from loneliness...And in the end I realized I was making all the effort for nothing...by approaching them so much all the time and realizing that they were never showing even the slightest interest in me by freezing me out and 'pretend listening' to all my problems I finally decided to save my dignity and slammed the door in their faces...Since then I have totally locked myself up and I never even try to make conversation with anyone cos in my mind there is this powerful fortified wall that tells me I need to lock up all that is in my head and only treat people for my own selfish interests...afterall if people are all selfish then why the hell should I act different....

I think this person that used you has the princess sickness/syndrome. e.g. She is the princess and wants to be treated as such.

My mother has that same syndrome!

Thank you guys so much for the answers. I appreciate it a lot. After I posted on that other forum I thought I was just being sensitive based on what people said. I feel a lot better after reading what people have to say here. I still get really angry and depressed though when I think about how she tricked me into thinking she was my best friend for two years.