will i ever be ok?

i am sitting here wondering if i will ever be able to function in this world. despite being really good student i dropped out of high school.some of my mates are now at college doing medicine,pharmacy and the likes.i am proud and happy for them but it makes me wonder because i know college will chew me up and spit me out.i have three best friends, one got married and moved away another is in a relationship with a guy who treats her like a queen, one lost her dad and is working really hard to take care of her sick mother and younger sibilings.once again i am proud and happy for them. i on the other hand suffers from depression and anxeity which has and never will be treated because i come from a culture where depression doesnt even exist in our vocab. i stay indoors all the time and despite everything people think i am perfect someone once told me "you are perfect" how wrong he is. i have never been in a relationship though i would love to fall in love. double depression has been my battle this year. all i wish for is at least six months of sanity. i am 22 and look 15 which is not exactly good for my self esteem. if you where able to read this thanks i have no one to talk to i am fighting this alone no therapy no meds just me and God,so thanks for reading hope you are having a decent day.

Hello, Hanni!
This does not surprise me. Some exceptionally capable, talented people cannot grow within the constraints imposed by formal schooling.
I understand. This creates a tremendous challenge for you. You may need to be creative. Could you see a counsellor or doctor who understands the delicate nature of your position within culture and family?
This is one of the ways depression works. Chances are you are capable of more than you feel, but depression will not let you feel it.

Best wishes to you, Hanni.