[whenwillitend]

that's how im feeling. like a zombie. i'm feeling more dead than alive. numb. detached. unreal. like i'm not really here. i feel like i already stopped existing.
every time i move just a little, it takes extra effot, like moving throgh molasses.

[NoCake]

Yeah I felt like that too. It's like you're alive but you're unconscious of what you're doing. One of the big things that causes that is a lack of interaction with people. Being isolated for a long time can actually change the way you function in the world. At one time whenever I had conversations I felt like I was watching myself talk. It's really weird and can make you afraid to speak at all... Every now and then I still get it. But what helped me was talking to people more often.

Basically you have to get back your ability to connect with the world because depression can make you go inside of yourself if that makes any sense. Once you start feeling "alive" life stops seeming like a movie and more like - life I guess.

[whenwillitend]

think i'm just not meant to be

think its time for me to disappear

[Salvatore27]

I can relate to this....It seems like you're frozen and the rest of the world is moving along....It seems surreal and it seems like my emotions are done and dusted! things that can stir up my emotions are just ordinary things nowadays... I don't feel a tiny twinge of excitement whenever I get to experience things that used to excite me before....my imagination is nearly dead and buried! I feel like I am just a clock that keeps going and going everyday aimlessly! I feel like I am just existing and there is nothing I can look forward to!

[NoCake]

Originally Posted by whenwillitend

think i'm just not meant to be

think its time for me to disappear

Nah. I've had this for years now but it got a lot better because I pushed myself into being around people. Your body functioning incorrectly has nothing to do with you not being meant to be here.

Did you know that when babies are born if they aren't held enough they can actually die from a lack of human contact? Yes it's true and although it's not as severe for adults it can still cause issues like the very one you have. We need human interaction or weird stuff happens. I only feel it now when I'm nervous about something - like heights LOL

[whenwillitend]

I'm always around people. My kids are here and my husband won't leave my side right now cause he doesn't want to find me dead.
And my old cat keeps curling up on me purring.

But all I want to do is disappear.

[NoCake]

Originally Posted by whenwillitend

I'm always around people. My kids are here and my husband won't leave my side right now cause he doesn't want to find me dead.
And my old cat keeps curling up on me purring.

But all I want to do is disappear.

I mean people whose underpants you don't wash lol.

[montanan4ever]

Been there done that a lot :-(. This time around it's not that way; I'm having a panic-ridden, agitated depression episode that almost, but not quite, makes me long for a good old vegetative almost-paralysis. But one is by no means better than the other. Ugh.

[whenwillitend]

feeling worse.didn't think that was possible.pain isback. from totally numb to unbearable pain.

husband fell asleep on the couch. this is my chance. i feel like sneaking out and making a run for it.

[NoCake]

Look you got a problem here - a solvable problem that doesn't require drugs or shots or therapy and the ONLY thing you have to do is talk. THAT'S IT. It doesn't cost you ANYTHING but a bit of your time. And now you complain that it's getting worse? Of course it is! It's all you think about - it's all you talk about! You keep telling yourself all this negative stuff and your body is simply believing you! Then you start complaining about the new problems that you yourself created in this unending circle of events!!

And now I'm guessing that you've gotten to where you can't really trust your body anymore because it's been programmed to become inactive. Well it's up to YOU to start fixing this. TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK!! IT WILL NOT fix itself. But YOU can fix this one problem that makes depression significantly easier to deal with.

Find some kind of way that you can take some time away from the kids, the hubby and anyone else that shares your last name and go out and relax. Go talk or sit at the beach, ride some horses, ride some dragons I don't care what you ride but find something that you can do to just chill out around other people and nothing is expected of you. As far as I know this is the only way. You need to connect with the world again and you're going to have to go out in it to start making this better.

[whenwillitend]

i dont know what solvable problem you'r talking about. there is nothing going on here that could be fixed by exchanging words. and my MI DOES require drugs and thearpy.

i dont know what problems i'm creating myself here, but apparently its all my fault, and i'm a whiner too. guess i should just go and shake some friends out of my sleeve, since i dont know how else to find any.

whatever

[NoCake]

Look I told you what got rid of the out of body feelings for me so you can either take my advice or don't.

And yeah depression can worsen by causing us to create more issues with the body and mind. The point of medicine, regular excercise and positive social interaction is to get the body back into normal shape. But ask yourself this - if you could really trust your body would you even need medication in the first place?

Anyway I'm not trying to be mean and I apologize if I have offended you.

[Alreadyhome]

I feel the same way. Numb. I want to grow....as a human, but the depression keeps me stagnant. I have no idea what will take me out if this mess. I'll tell you what though I have been this way my whole life and I won't let it turn me into a nothing. I have a lot to say and do still. I will enjoy happiness one day.

[RJ78]

Hi WWIE,

You haven't caused or created any problems here, this isn't your fault. Never has been. This is a serious medical condition that requires any number of therapeutic interventions, which may include different types of medication, different forms of therapy as well as any number of lifestyle changes. It all depends on individual experiences and skills.

I'm going to assume that you haven't always felt precisely like you've been feeling in the past few days. If that's so, what have you done in the past when/if you felt like you have recently?

Please keep us posted, as you know, many of us have been where you are and care about your well-being.

RJ