[browneyed tx girl]

When will I learn that depression dictates everything in my life? After 33 years of battles, I still don't remember the lessons that I have learned. I also, forget how to identify and prevent. I allow it to ruin things and sabotage others. The shadow of depression decides my relationships and how those are going to go. It stands between me and the things I want to do and the things I need to do! It prevents me from always being the person I am and turns me into the person who can't handle life- so FORGET the big stuff. It limits the skills that I have from solving problems of my own and often creates more for me. Depression takes me into a world that I don't want to be in. It causes more issues like anxiety and panic and anger. I have the knowledge to over-come and fight it, I just don't always have the strength. Someday's it is just easier to let it take over. The episode will last maybe for today, maybe for the week, but anytime is too much time! And when things are good, I feel it right there, waiting for the slightest issue to arise so it can drag me down. I am not a novice in dealing with this, but today I just feel lost and hopeless again. Does anyone else have the same issues? Is my case "normal"? Is there any strategy out there that may help me? Talking always helps, as long as it is with people who "get it" or rather in this case "has it". I do hope that you have a wonderful day and thanks in advance.

[shlump]

All I can say is yes.

That is depression.

Can I help?

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by browneyed tx girl

I have the knowledge to over-come and fight it, I just don't always have the strength.

This rings true. More specifically in my particular case, depression has already overthrown my life. I have the raw knowledge to manage it on a certain level, but depression itself undermines my ability to apply that knowledge.

Originally Posted by browneyed tx girl

Is my case "normal"?

I don't know how common it is, but your description is consistent with some percentage of presentations of clinical depression.

Here's what I think helps me function on my minimal level:

• Take my meds consistently (I need help for this)
• Visit my psychiatrist/therapist regularly (someone drives me to these appointments)
• Get the best sleep possible
• When I have the energy to attempt tasks, I try not to increase the mental-emotional difficulty of those tasks by attempting to be efficient; i.e. forget efficiency

[Khym]

My depression does similar things to me. I feel like there is a deep groove in the path I'm following and no matter how happy or confident I am I get stuck in that groove and go hell bent towards sadness, defeat and emptiness. Lately I've realized that I also, literally FORGET any good, kind, loving thing anyone says to me. I have to force myself to remember that other people really do care and that my life really isn't that bad. I'm also constantly anticipating failure, wretchedness and catastrophe, even though nothing EVER turns out the way I think it will. This is not to say things always turn out better but even when bad things do happen they're never the way I waste hours of my life imagining how bad they will be. And on top of it all, I'm BORED to tears with my depression. It's always the same with me telling myself the same tedious stuff and worrying about the same dull fears. I want to get out of this rut I'm in but I don't know how.

[browneyed tx girl]

Thanks to all of you who took the time to share/post. Some days are not bad, but those that are, just knock me for a loop! It is refreshing to know that there are others who can relate. So often when you suffer from this, the people closest to you are the last ones you want to talk to. I find them half listening, or they tend to have that "oh it's this AGAIN" look. So I do appreciate that there is a place to sound out. Some times it is all it takes. To know I am not alone. I hope you have a wonderful day!

[adam_k]

I know the feeling of just wanting to give in and not fight the feelings of despair and hopelessness. At those times I try to think about all the people is my life that care about me and i find strength in that. Thought s like that let me face the world instead in isolating myself from it.