[justkeepbreathing]

I have struggled with major depressive disorder since my early adolescence. The older I get the better I get at coping.
I exercise, eat well (for the most part), do yoga, and meditate. I try to read often, stay close to my friends (who often save my life). Relax. Be with nature. I try very hard to be healthy in my body and mind to manage my depression.

I've taken medications before, it was long ago but from what I remember they worked (lexapro). But overall I want to go without psych medications.

My biggest struggle is the episodic nature of this illness. Yes, we know that it will eventually end; the clouds will part and we will feel normal again. But we can also guarantee that another episode is lurking around the corner. I sometimes become obsessive with maintaining balance in my life just to stave off another desperate episode.

I wonder if my illness will forever be a burden on the one's I love. If I'm doomed to periods of utter withdrawal and isolation.

Eh, I'm not feeling entirely articulate tonight. But it warms my heart to see a supportive network of people here. Often when your depressed, the best thing is to have someone listen, not try to make it better, just accept you for where you're at.

Sending love to all those who suffer

[Leed]

Dearheart -- I also have major depressive disorder (clinical depression) and I've been told I have to STAY on medication the rest of my life, if I want to keep my life, moods, etc., balanced and on an even keel. So I stay on my meds and find that I do feel better, and I'm not struggling all the time. It's much easier and I'm much happier this way.

Perhaps you should do this too. Have you asked your doc if you should stay on your meds? Has he told you that you should? I realize that NO one wants to be on medications permanently -- but the alternative isn't very pleasant -- at least not for me. I hate the sorrow, the struggling, the depression so bad that I want to die, the moods that make my family miserable, etc. Staying on my meds is best for me and everyone else.

I wish you the very best. I hope everything works out for you. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[montanan4ever]

Hi there. I'm another one who has had to accept that medication will be part of my life forever. I view it as being like insulin for a diabetic. My brain chemistry is whacked and I have to use a lot of tools to keep it in balance. One of those tools is medication.

The downside, of course, is that sometimes medication stops working or side effects whack the brain chemistry in a little different direction. I'm just seeing some light at the end of one of THOSE tunnels. Ugh. But I'm quite certain I'd be far worse off without meds.

[RJ78]

Hi. I'm glad to hear that it has become easier to cope as you age, it sounds like you have some great self-discipline.

My last major bout of depression is coming to an end more or less, my second in 7 years (the first lasted 4 years), and without medication I'm not sure I'd experience anything close to what I consider an acceptable life. I have not always been pro-meds, but like Leed and Montana, any relief I can get from the crushing pain is worth it. The flip side is that I'm so much more enjoyable to be around and I never worry about being a burden on those around me, which I do constantly when I'm in a major episode (it's one of many symptoms of my depression).

Other than the meds, I do exercise regularly, spend lots of time with my loved ones, and take on exciting new challenges every once and a while. Oh, and listen to lots of new music. These all help me to feel balanced.

RJ

[adam_k]

Hi. I hope you can find the support your looking for here. I can sympathize with what you are going through. When I get depressed I tend to isolate myself too. I too would like to manage my depression without meds. I've tried a couple medications (zoloft and Lexapro) but neither helped me. I think my depression is partly caused by the way I think and react to life events. It's good to hear your story and I wish you more blissful days.