[forshared]

I am kind of convinced I am in denial of "depression." I don't know if this a subconscious thing I am doing or what. I have had close friends and family members go through depression, and I completely believed and supported them. But with me, I just don't believe it. Is there a reason?

Basically, for 2-3 years, I have been dealing with dsythymia apparently. Long years filled with a milder depression.

But I've also had multiple episodes of major or clinical depression, which overlaps my dsythymia causing what is called double depression I believe.

I've talked to counselors, adults, and teachers that all tell me I have depression, I've researched all about it and have many symptoms, and I've taken the online diagnoses.

I have suicidal ideation a lot as well.

I honestly don't believe I have depression though. I don't know if this is a fear of treatment or that I just don't want to admit it. Am I trying to stay sane or something? Also, I believe I have nothing to be depressed about. Sure the occasional bullying, but there are people who have been through so much worse and are okay. But I really do feel awful and horrible and lonely and suicidal.

Does anyone know why I feel as if I am in "denial"?

[allimsaying]

I think a lot of us didnt want to admit it in the beginning. I still dont. But its nothing to be ashamed about.

[shortandcute]

Personaly, I think that is common. At least, it is with me. I know that I am depressed, I knew it way b4 my dx. But sometimes, I think "No I'm okay," or "you're just having a bad day" etc.
And as far as having anything to be depressed about-well, I am often the most depressed when things are going great. Of course, I am just talking from personal experience. But you are doing nothing wrong by feeling the way you do.

[avlady]

it also could be because it is a label and people used to not want to be connected to any type of mental diagnosis

About five years ago, my personal doctor told me that I had depression. She didn't run a test, she just came right out and said that's what I have. I guess that she could tell just by the way I am. I didn't believe it.
So she prescribed me medication for it, but it didn't help. I took another prescription and that didn't help either.

For some strange reason, I don't have a problem with admitting that's what I have. Though some people think that it's just an excuse for being as I am. Well, if that's what they think, then so be it!

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by will19

About five years ago, my personal doctor told me that I had depression. She didn't run a test, she just came right out and said that's what I have. I guess that she could tell just by the way I am. I didn't believe it.
So she prescribed me medication for it, but it didn't help. I took another prescription and that didn't help either.

For some strange reason, I don't have a problem with admitting that's what I have. Though some people think that it's just an excuse for being as I am. Well, if that's what they think, then so be it!

That's similar to what happened to me. I already kind of knew I was--but it was different actually hearing someone else tell me. I was in my late 20's/early 30's, and I had a doctor visit (don't remember what for) and right before I left, he said, "By the way, I want you to get checked for depression. I know you have it."

[forshared]

Since this seems to be a pretty common or normal reaction due to the stigma, how did you guys deal with it? Do you believe it now?

[shortandcute]

Oh, I definately believe it. But there's a part of me that occasionally tells me< "O you're ok." When I first got treatment for it--I stopped it for a while because I started thinking I was just imagining it.

[onionknight]

I'm more in denial about the severity. I get that I'm depressed, just not the ripple effect through my life.

[angelstar17]

Originally Posted by forshared

I honestly don't believe I have depression though.

This very statement means you're in some kind of denial. Have you ever thought of getting professional help? If you're having thoughts of harming others or yourself, you seriously need psychological help. Don't deny yourself one as it can save your life. It can be a hard pill to swallow and people around you may not take it lightly.. but there are support group out there who can help. The problem with depression is that the scope is so wide and that people have been faking it, using it as an excuse like this person I saw on equibbly. At least, you're bold enough to post that you have a problem and all you need is a little nudge to acknowledge the real issue before things get worse. Good Luck!

[IrishGreenEyes]

I understand your denial, I don't honestly believe I am depressed. To have a doctor tell you that the way you feel is not normal is quite difficult to hear. I believed I am the way I am because that is who I am.