[GirlOfManyFaces]

First of all I hate my therapist. And today I had just had a HUGE fight with my mom before I went in. But as soon as I saw my T, it was "big smiles and happiness"... And I sooooo close to convincing her that I didn't need therapy anymore.
Then it fell apart. She asked my mom to come in so I could tell her that therapy wasn't needed anymore. But of course my mom was still pissed off from our fight. So she started getting bad and that made me mad and then she was crying and blah blah blah...
So now not only do I need to go to therapy for myself, now I have to go in with my ***beep*** of a mother. And my therapist also wants to tell my mom about my other personality. And I did NOT want her to tell my mom. My mom would FREAK out and probably put me in a mental hospital.

So just to rap things up, I felt worse coming out of therapy then I did going in. I actually wanted to kill myself after I left there. But I won't.

I hate therapy and I never want to go back. I think that therapist has traumatized me even more than my rapist did. And she ruined my relationship with my mom more than it already was.

So now I really have no parents... I know my life isn't as bad as some people's... But I really can't live like this..... I WAS DOING PERFECTLY FINE UNTIL MY T CAME IN THE PICTURE!!!

Talk about a rough day... And all this happened after I found out my kidneys might be failing and I could possible be dying....

YAY! -.- I'm so alone :'(

I would very much appreciate advice or just a comment saying hi... I feel less alone when I'm on PC. I feel more hear. Less broken.

[she imp]

Hi,

I don't know if I have any advice, but I have been reading your posts and I do hope things get better for you. I know your mom tries to make some major decisions for you before you even have a chance to think...

Maybe therapy together?

I do wish you the best and sending hugs.

[NoCake]

You don't need to take your own life. That is not fair to you. You cannot let the world do things to you and let them convince them to make you hurt yourself. That's how it always is. Good and kind people get hurt and then they start to question themselves while those that should be questioning themselves do harm to others and move on as if nothing happened. None of these things that happen to you are your fault. It just so happens that sometimes we find ourselves knee deep in crap, we don't know how or why we got there but we have to find a way through it. I know you're young and you've been through a whole lot and it's really tough. But there are people twice your age that aren't holding up as well and you should be proud that you have been strong enough to get through all of the things you have. And through all of that you keep your heart. Trust me when I say that ain't easy - I'm still trying to get mine back...

So darling you keep your head up because you CAN get through this. Seeing the T might be scary for you. But all you can do is go there and speak from the heart because that seems to be working quite fine. And remember you aren't alone because you got people here rooting for you.

Be safe,
NoCake

[GirlOfManyFaces]

Originally Posted by NoCake

You don't need to take your own life. That is not fair to you. You cannot let the world do things to you and let them convince them to make you hurt yourself. That's how it always is. Good and kind people get hurt and then they start to question themselves while those that should be questioning themselves do harm to others and move on as if nothing happened. None of these things that happen to you are your fault. It just so happens that sometimes we find ourselves knee deep in crap, we don't know how or why we got there but we have to find a way through it. I know you're young and you've been through a whole lot and it's really tough. But there are people twice your age that aren't holding up as well and you should be proud that you have been strong enough to get through all of the things you have. And through all of that you keep your heart. Trust me when I say that ain't easy - I'm still trying to get mine back...

So darling you keep your head up because you CAN get through this. Seeing the T might be scary for you. But all you can do is go there and speak from the heart because that seems to be working quite fine. And remember you aren't alone because you got people here rooting for you.

Be safe,
NoCake

Thank you <3 no matter how much I want to kill myself, I won't. I'm just going to let my sickness take me. I really appreciate your comment. Seriously, I feel like somebody loves me when people reply <3 it's a great feeling.

Thank you

[shortandcute]

I'm sorry that you have gone thru this. And its hard when you are still living with your parents, too, I think. Keep us posted.