[frownupsidedown]

I'm afraid. I'm trying to get a job after years of being out of work due to depression. My self-esteem is at the lowest it's ever been and its hard to talk yourself up in an interview when you feel so bad about yourself. I fear an employer will see my memory problems or that I won't have the energy to maintain a job. I'm afraid I won't pass a drug test because of a medicine I take and am worried they will see my involuntary commitments on a background check. I'm a horrible liar, so I don't know how to respond to questions about my employment gap or why, when I have such a high degree of education, I'm just looking for a house-cleaning or minimum wage job. The stress is overwhelming and causing me to have even less energy than usual--how will I be able to work when I'm like this?

[hester91]

Hey there,

I dont have an answer for you b/c ive been asking that exact question of myself for years. I just wanted you to know that there is at least 1 person that shares the same fears and anxieties.
We are doing the best that we can. Thinking good thoughts for you.

[Chmil]

Originally Posted by frownupsidedown

I'm afraid. I'm trying to get a job after years of being out of work due to depression. My self-esteem is at the lowest it's ever been and its hard to talk yourself up in an interview when you feel so bad about yourself. I fear an employer will see my memory problems or that I won't have the energy to maintain a job. I'm afraid I won't pass a drug test because of a medicine I take and am worried they will see my involuntary commitments on a background check. I'm a horrible liar, so I don't know how to respond to questions about my employment gap or why, when I have such a high degree of education, I'm just looking for a house-cleaning or minimum wage job. The stress is overwhelming and causing me to have even less energy than usual--how will I be able to work when I'm like this?

I feel the exact same way. Feels like I could've written this post word by word. I just want to do something useful, but lack the coping skills when it comes to stress, and my depression prevents me from taking on jobs with too much responsibility. Please know that you are not alone. Hopefully we will come out of this soon and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Blessings on our journey.

[Chmil]

Yes you are not alone. May we all find a way and come out of this stronger.

[allimsaying]

Job interviews are really hard for me too. When I got a job I tried to do such good work that if I ever felt the need to quit I would be in a good place to come back without all that interview stuff. Ive returned to at least three jobs that way and I was always so grateful I was rehired because I worried my personality had left an unfavorable impression.

In a lot of the lower income jobs I dont think they go to such extremes checking out backgrounds but there are exceptions of course. A lot of times I think they are happy just to have a body show up and be there.

I have some gaps in my history too but recently Ive been able to remain employed and it doesnt glare out like I worried it would. Im not lying to say during those times I was caring for someone and my expenses were taken care of so I didnt need to work. Maybe you didnt have a job but some other life need occupied your time during your work breaks and you can just be honest about it? Ideally you would meet an employer who sympathizes.

Interviews are one of those times you have to force that smile, fake that togetherness and its hugely stressful. You cant prepare for everything and maybe you will fumble at some points. Just be the best you that you can be. Employers look for people who have a good attitude about getting the work done first. If you can convince them you are going to do your best and that you share in the concern of keeping the clientele happy, sometimes thats enough to get your foot in the door. Maybe your history isnt perfect but maybe its better than the other applicants. Try to think positive and hopeful.

[adam_k]

I wouldn't worry about the drug screening. Medications are usually screened for, unless they are narcotics. As long as you have a prescription for those you are fine. For your employement gap, I would just say that is was medical releated, but it is better now and you are able to work. You dont have to divulge medical histories to your employer.

[BIGbang123]

I also feel like frownupsidedown. I am a teacher out of work and subbing for six years and it's really getting me down. I feel worthless, empty inside. Mornings are the worst. Luckily my wife is very supportive. And I just started to see a therapist who told me she will help me find a job. I just keep looking at everything negatively and can't seem to feel good. I wish I had a solution. So many meds have so many side effects, what do I try? right now on Zoloft and it's not helping.

[hester91]

Originally Posted by Chmil

I feel the exact same way. Feels like I could've written this post word by word. I just want to do something useful, but lack the coping skills when it comes to stress, and my depression prevents me from taking on jobs with too much responsibility. Please know that you are not alone. Hopefully we will come out of this soon and see the light at the end of the tunnel. Blessings on our journey.

Hey Chmil,

I just had a little melt down yesterday on another thread, think it was general posts. My daughter asked if I could register her for a college course. I got dizzy, started to sweat. I just knew that I was going to foul it up. It made me relive all of the moments when I worked and I'd have anxiety attacks on the job. Horrible. I miss work.

Sheesh my hands are trembling just thinking about it. Feel worse b/c I know that capable of more than just cleaning my house. I feel like a hostage to my brain.

[redbandit]

I am having similar issues. I feel like I got my degree for nothing, it's been VERY hard for me to find & keep a job. Good luck, I'm sure something will come along! Have u ever looked at employment agencies? Another option might b vocational rehab, which i am currently applying for. They help ppl with disabilities find jobs. Good luck!

I got laid off in July after having the almost perfect job for 5+ years...one with great benefits, flexible hours, little brain usage...and no one cared if I cried at my desk. Plus, a lot of the people were great.
My unemployment runs out sooner than I want to think about, and I have been applying for jobs...a few rejections, no calls. My father has been helping me and I thought he understood how fragile I am (need quiet, get overstimulated easily, etc)...and then he said I might have to take a job less than my ideal. Well, I was getting paid less than my ideal at my last job, but the benefits outweighed that. And there is really only so much (and I mean a tiny, tiny bit) I can handle right now (no meds have worked for me so far).
And I can't deal with people...I will run out of a room in about 30 seconds. So I just don't know what to do.
But I wanted to let you all know that you are not the only ones struggling on the job front and wish each of you luck. It's just so hard right now.