[TheRealFDeal]

#$@#$%@!!!! I just lost my whole post and now I have to start over.

I was saying that I'm sitting at Starbucks with my mocha and my laptop ready to comfort and be comforted.

Weekends are really hard for me because I am so desperately alone, and it's just magnified when I've got a couple of days with nothing to do and nowhere to go and no friends to hook up with. I spend them with my laptop and my tv (and the jaunt to Starbucks if I can get myself out of the house). Desperately trying to distract myself enough to keep the dark thoughts at bay. The dark thoughts that I can't go into right now because I'm trying to avoid them.

So here I sit hoping that I will receive some comfort and company from the forum and that I will feel up to giving some as well. I'm going to post this on another forum, too, just to cover my bases.

Loves, everyone.

[Sam2]

Originally Posted by TheRealFDeal

#$@#$%@!!!! I just lost my whole post and now I have to start over.

I was saying that I'm sitting at Starbucks with my mocha and my laptop ready to comfort and be comforted.

Weekends are really hard for me because I am so desperately alone, and it's just magnified when I've got a couple of days with nothing to do and nowhere to go and no friends to hook up with. I spend them with my laptop and my tv (and the jaunt to Starbucks if I can get myself out of the house). Desperately trying to distract myself enough to keep the dark thoughts at bay. The dark thoughts that I can't go into right now because I'm trying to avoid them.

So here I sit hoping that I will receive some comfort and company from the forum and that I will feel up to giving some as well. I'm going to post this on another forum, too, just to cover my bases.

Loves, everyone.

Hi there,
weekends can be long without distractions. I don't know anything about your personality, likes or dislikes, but do you have or can you have a dog where you live? I know you would probably like someone special in your life, but dogs can bring a great deal of comfort as well as a diversion. They insist on getting you out when you don't want to, offer a neck or shoulder for tears and are more than happy to go for a walk with you. There is nothing like watching a pet enjoy themselves just by getting a chance to go with you.

I don't mean to minimize what you are feeling. I honestly don't know what I would do without my dog.

Know that there are people here who are willing to talk to you and do thier best to keep your weekends occupied. Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy?

If you don't want to think about the dark thoughts, you don't need to. No one here is goin to think any less of you for having them. I'm just glad that you are able to keep them out of the forfront of your mind.

Sam2

[TheRealFDeal]

Well, I had planned on taking myself out to a movie this evening, but at the last minute, I changed my mind. I could think of nothing lonelier than sitting in a dark movie theater on a Saturday night among a bunch of other people who are with other people. Even though it was a comedy. I'm having the dark thoughts. I feel so alone anyway.

[CloudyDay99]

I do a matinee instead of night movies. It seems much less intimidating to be out alone (and cheaper).

[allimsaying]

> #$@#$%@!!!! I just lost my whole post and now I have to start over.

I hate when that happens.

Im spending the weekend on chores and resting. Rest and eating is what I need most. Actually not doing it very well. I made it to the grocery store yesterday and managed to buy something I could cook. Didnt finish it and snacked on snickers and Pepsi.

I dont like moving around too much Saturdays. Get plenty of that during the week.

Been a long time since doing the friend get together thing. Ive gotten pretty used to spending time alone, actually like it quite a bit. I used to be very socially motivated tho so I understand your feeling.

Ive had to practice keeping the dark thoughts at bay a lot. Sometimes I think you just cant and maybe, really need to spend time with them so you can finally get to the center of it all. Those are hard times. Sending you wishes for easy times.

[TheRealFDeal]

I can't have the dark thoughts or I will end up hurting myself. Today I stayed in bed till 3:30 -- on weekends I just lay in bed until I start thinking too much or have bad dreams. I haven't been out yet, but I'm thinking about going to Target and whether I can drag myself into the shower to go. Whoopdeedoo.

Sam2, I couldn't answer yesterday because it felt like it would make me too upset. I love dogs more than I love people - well, that's not saying much, is it? I love dogs more than anything. I lost my two dogs in the "divorce" and it breaks my heart to know that I will never see them again, ever. I don't have a dog now because in my rush to move out, I chose poorly. This place allows dogs, but there is absolutely no yard. I just don't feel like I could responsibly own a dog while I live here. That's a primary motive for me finding another place, but my motivation is at absolutely zero right now. And that puts me in a kind of Catch-22, because I believe having a dog would save me. What I think about now is driving at high speed into a telephone pole. But don't worry, I'm safe (feel like I have to say that).

[RJ78]

Hi,

Just letting you know that I'm reading you and sending you a hug from Canada, where I currently find myself in the middle of a blizzard.

RJ

[TheRealFDeal]

RJ78, is it bad, or is it normal? I wish I lived somewhere where it snowed. I like to bundle up and I think snow is beautiful. It's too hot where I live in central calif.

[RJ78]

Hi RD,

It's pretty normal and it can be so absolutely beautiful. I was feeling pretty anxious this past weekend, so I wasn't enjoying it as much as I can, but being bundled up inside really is a pleasure. It just sucks when you have to drive in it!

Wanna switch for a week

RJ

[lonelyemotionalgirl]

I can totally relate to the weekends being difficult, because it is the loneliest time of the week. I have Saturday and Sunday nights off, and I spend those nights in bed, reading a book or trying to cheer myself up with television. I often find it easier to stay in my house than going out, because I hate seeing that most people are with someone else. There are many people who go places alone, and I used to be able to do that, but lately I have found that I hate being alone. I know how you feel, and it causes dark thoughts in the mind. My suggestion is to try something new... Get a cookbook or find a recipe on the internet, and make yourself some great new food! Or try taking a class on the weekends, whether it is a dance class, an art class, a cooking class, or even a history class. Many colleges and other centers do ofter classes on the weekends!