[xnocturnalxsilencex]

i can't celebrate my dads birthday this sunday. my parents both alcoholics, so they are having his birthday at Rumbottoms [a bar], and they don't want me & my brothers to come with. c'mon.. i mean? he's my father, and we're part of the family too! anyways.. mom has been paying absolutely no attention to me and my brothers ever since her & my dad got back together [they had a time where they came close to divorce but mom came crawling back to him]. it makes me feel even more & more useless & think "why am i even here if no one wants me here?" ..my parents go out every night that my dads work schedule makes it possible. they always go to rumbottoms, or lucky dogs [bar]. my dad is off work for the next two weeks.. which mean they'll go to bars every night for the next two weeks. its sad because i even talk to my brothers and ask them if they feel the same way, and they do. & they're littler than me. and i try telling my mom that.. but then i get grounded & yelled at, and told of how stupid and how much of a ***** i am.... i'm sick of all of this... i really am. i cannot live another 3 years in this house like this. they have less & less money to buy me clothes [which i desperately need.. i have 1 pair of black pants that fit, and 3 shirts that fit], and they wonder why they dont have money? its obvious.. they spend it all on eachother going to bars.. i really miss my old parents.. before they got back together they paid attention to me & my brothers.. and now.. they dont. i am constantly told how useless and how much of a 'brat' i am, even though i really dont do anything to deserve that. whenever i try to talk to my parents about how they've been, and how i feel.. they tell me to go 'suck my thumb and grow up'.. and i'm 15 years old. i wont make it much further if things keep going on like this.. please. i need as much advice and help, and people to talk to as i can get. i know it wont help my family problems.. but it will help all of my emotional problems.. there is no more hope for my family. everything is only going to go downhill.. in my family, there is no talking about problems without being grounded and screamed at. there is no reasoning. my parents do not want to hear what they dont want to hear.. like.. really how horrible of parents they have been being. i miss my old life.. what has happend to us? ....

[PasDeDeux]

I am so sorry to hear this. I am wondering if maybe you and your brother have an aunt or grandma that can take you in for a while? Someone that you like? Maybe that will get you away from feeling ignored and from what I see as emotional abuse. It may help just to leave them each a nice note saying JUST that you miss them and ask for a day to all watch a dvd together or something like that, this way you are just asking for time with them and saying your missing them BUT not saying why. It's more like an I statement

i am so sorry that you're feeling abandoned. i would feel the same way in your situation.

i think that PasDeDeux's suggestion concerning a relative is great. is there anyone at all that you can call and talk to.

we'll talk to you and support you here. it is very good that you came here and shared. you can talk about whatever your feelings are and someone here will always listen. love, pat

[xnocturnalxsilencex]

PasDeDeux.. i've tried all of it. they just throw away my notes, and i am sure that if i asked to live with a relative for a little while, they would not at all let me, and then tell me how ridiculous the idea is and ground me just for bringing up the idea.. its pretty much hopeless, there is absolutely nothing that can help the family now.

[PasDeDeux]

Wow I am sorry to hear that. If you have a relative you really like maybe THEY can ask if you can move in for a tiny bit? I find this very sad. I am also thinking when school starts maybe the school counselor could help somehow. Have you asked yourself if you want to stay there? If you REALLY HATE it and have for a while I THINK? you could ask family court to help find you a place within your family to move to or they may make mom and dad go to therapy.

((((((((nocturnal))))))))) I really feel for you!

i'm sorry that the situation has gone that far. i wish i could think of something to help you. please keep posting. there are a lot of people here who will help support you.

alcoholism really is a hard thing to deal with. i was married to one and i never knew what was going to happen from one day to the next.

keep posting, love, pat

[xnocturnalxsilencex]

& no.. i dont want to move. i want to live here, with my mom and dad treating me good, and have the family i have now. but.. i just wish everything wasnt like THIS.. i just wish everything was good

[(JD)]

I would think about getting together with your siblings and going to the bar at the same time, surprise visit, drop off presents and sing HB...and leave! That would help you participate without really intruding on their night together?

Good wishes.

[xnocturnalxsilencex]

yeah i asked mom if we could just go for a little while, and she said she doesn't want us there at all...

[damajdancer]

I'm so sorry you are going through this, I have a horrible family who doesnt give a rats *** about me, and I'm 13, and I know how rough it is, im so sorry. If you ever just want to vent or just talk PM me for anything. I hope I could help.
-megan-