[ajmich]

Not much for phones anyway (yeah I know, get with the program) but I seriously avoid phone when wicked depressed. What's up with that. Anyone else? I can email all day long, well nearly, and prefer it cuz I can take the time to assemble my thoughts and don't have the "pressure" to make words come out of my mouth.

[tinyrabbit]

I have the exact same problem so I really sympathise.

[ajmich]

Thx tinyrabbit... AND I have people who leave me voice mail and seem to get peeved because I don't answer it... more than glad to do email with them but THEY don't/can't do that, so IIIII'm supposed to do phone, because it's so very common or whatever? ticks me off

[tinyrabbit]

I know a lot of people who feel the same. The way I see it, if I don't like the phone, that's my choice - but when I get really anxious and stressed about not liking it, that's when it becomes a problem for me. I don't do phones. If someone doesn't do email... why do they get to be the one who is 'right'?

Could you turn off your voicemail service?

[Perna]

I write out a little speech or notes sometimes if I'm having trouble with the phone. That gives me a little more courage and helps me stay better focused. But I only do phone with people/situations I care about and if I care (insurance, friends/relatives, appointments I want to make for repair people or stuff like that) that helps motivate me too. Those who know me will know how I feel about talking on the phone and those people who don't know me are usually "official" and I can write my little speech with my account numbers, name, address, and what I want and read it and just keep insisting on getting the answer I want, not like they can surprise me much or get blood from a turnip :-)

[ajmich]

Good points all. I would be too irritable to use notes on the phone. In a small town with iffy cell service that is annoying when at your best (cutting in & out, static, etc) let alone when you're on edge and majorly down... I go out of my way to use email for everything I possibly can. With services that offer both email and phone, I opt for email... if they don't, or as often is the case their email wants to get you on the phone anyway (what's up with that, why initially do email just to say, Let's Do Phone?) GOOD POINT I will try to shut off the voicemail altogether, didn't think I could do dat

[Perna]

I would not shut off the voice mail, I'd just not give it as much power as you seem to. There are calls you might want to know came in, whether you want to return them or not is your decision. Some calls you can return replies or whatever by email, instead, and other calls you can ignore if you want but if someone you love calls you for help, you probably want to know so you can go to them and help. I'd rather struggle with myself to call/not call than to hear, "I called you but you weren't there (for me)" from someone I loved when I know I was but had deliberately turned away.

i posted this ages ago in the anxiety section, but i avoid phones at all costs.

i find even if they are not ringing or anything, i can't even hold it in my hands.

it's just 1 of my fears

[tinyrabbit]

I have noticed that, since I started going to therapy, I have felt less anxious about the phone. So I think, for me, that some of it is displaced and not really about the phone.

But I also don't like it! I feel like I'm interrupting people, or like they're interrupting me. I especially hate it when people aren't clear about what they want and just sort of wait for me to talk, it panics me.

[Rohag]

Yes, phones are a problem for me, sometimes a big problem. I don't have a cell phone - I don't need one and the rings/tones frequently startle me. I screen every call on the landline -- when not too startled from the ring to answer. And I also prepare phone narratives in advance.

[Pierro]

Ajmich, You and I are so alike. I also have problems with phones , txtn is fine. I think its the fact that yur just not up to talking, and people that dont understand get really mad like my dad when I dont answer. Talking for me is the most difficult thing of all. whrn yur down its very hard to express yur feelings. When I'm very down I cant speak, and if breathing was not an involintary action, I dont think I'd bother. Knock the phone off altogether just until you fell a little more able to deal with other people. Thanks for your kind coments on "problems"

[Sabra]

I just started texting a few months ago. I wish I had tried it earlier. It is a great way to communicate.............short and sweet.

When I am in the " valley of the shadow", I have problems with the phone, not being able to think of words.As mentioned in this thread, writing something out does help.

There are times when the phone rings I have a panic attack. Fortunately, those times a less frequent.

Sabra

I normally do not like using phones. But yet it seems like it's the only way for me to talk to people. I prefer face to face. I hate not knowing how people will react when I talk to them on the phone.

I don't like having to call people. It always seems like a bad time for them when I call them.

Emailing is OK. It's hard to say if I like emaling better than phone calling. I prefer in person by far over any of those two.

[black dog boogie]

I'm the same. In general I can be quite anxious about using the phone; when I am depressed I am utterly fearful of it and I hate it. Whenever my cellphone rings and it's a number I don't recognise, I let them leave a message and then I listen to it a few minutes later. I guess it's so I have time to process whatever information the caller was ringing to give me, and formulate how I will respond.
I have always felt I am waaay better at expressing myself in writing anyway, so in general I prefer to communicate via writing (e.g. email) than by speaking (phone).

[black dog boogie]

Originally Posted by Sabra

I just started texting a few months ago. I wish I had tried it earlier. It is a great way to communicate.............short and sweet.

When I am in the " valley of the shadow", I have problems with the phone, not being able to think of words.As mentioned in this thread, writing something out does help.

There are times when the phone rings I have a panic attack. Fortunately, those times a less frequent.

Sabra

I can also at times have panic attacks when the phone rings! Awful, awful feeling.

[KeepingPace]

Originally Posted by ajmich

Not much for phones anyway (yeah I know, get with the program) but I seriously avoid phone when wicked depressed. What's up with that. Anyone else? I can email all day long, well nearly, and prefer it cuz I can take the time to assemble my thoughts and don't have the "pressure" to make words come out of my mouth.

Yes I have felt this way for years! I hate the phone and have very little patience for having to call the phone company, the cable company, the doctor's office and just about anything else that isn't my very best friend or 9-1-1,,,, maybe it isn't the depression but is in fact that the telephone is OBnoxious and basically intrusive....!

[shortandcute]

I dont really like using the too much anyway but especially when im depressed.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by black dog boogie

I can also at times have panic attacks when the phone rings! Awful, awful feeling.

me too

[ajmich]

Everyone, thanks for the comments -- wasn't expecting this degree of vindication... have long felt kind of 'noid like some sort of freak for not being into phones... with phones incredibly popular now, to the point where they are complex computers... and I resisted even getting a cell 'til last year. I even asked for a "dumbphone" I didn't want a smartphone with all the bells/whistles I'd never use... but AT&T's basic model is still loaded with crap. Had them dismantle text & data service cuz they kept charging odd amounts for those and I never used them!