Very depressed

The guy I was talking to is almost four years younger than me. we were talking for two months. We wanted to take things slow since we've both been hurt in the past. Everything was going fine. We went on dates twice a week, held hands all the time, talked and texted every day. We slept together many times too. He always said that he likes me alot and that I have all the qualities he wants in a girl friend. We always had fun together and slept with each other as well. I know that was a mistake since we agreed to go slow. My parents didn't like him because he didn't have his degree yet. He is in school part time to be an engineer and also worked at a bank. Ever since he lost his job about three weeks ago, he's been distant. He said that he accidentally deposited a client's money in his account. His boss of course didn't believe it was on accident. For four days I noticed he was distant. Two weeks ago i asked him if he still likes me and he said yes. I asked why he has been distant and he said he has alot on his mind. I said well can we talk tonight? He said no hun call you tomorrow I'm doing homework now. I said please? You being distant is bothering me. He said no I have things to do tonight call you tomorrow. I said ok. I called the next morning and left him a voicemail saying I'm sad and that I hope he wants to see me again. I said I understand if he just wants to be friends or needs some time alone. He never called or texted back. I tried calling a few times again on Saturday night but no answer. I texted three days later saying please call me back. I'm really sad you just stopped talking to me out of the blue. I really would appreciate an explanation. No response. I don't understand how someone could just lose interest like that. Do you think alot of it has to do with losing his job? I miss him and he made me happy. Last weekend he texted saying he just wants to be alone now and doesn't have time for a relationship with anyone right now. I said ok. I left him lone for about a week and then I texted three days later asking if he ever wants to see me again he said he'd call if he's ready. So I left him alone for three days then last night I felt lonely and called alot hoping to see him. He finally texted back saying he wants to be alone and doesn't want to see me and to move on. I said ok well if you change your mind let me know. Do you think there's any chance he'll want to see me in the future? Did I totally ruin it? :-( he has been cheated on multiple times in the past by his ex and took her back before. I hope he didnt take her back again. She even hit herself in front of him and went to his house and started hitting him. To this day, she still tries contacting him. I've been cheated on too by my previous ex of 2 yrs. this is a huge blow to me and my self esteem. Anyways, I deleted this guy's number so I'm not tempted to call during times I feel desperate or depressed. You think he will ever want to see me again? I know my friends and family think I can do better. They don't think it was an accident that he put a client's money in his account but I want to believe him that it was on accident. I'm very sad.

Hello,

I don't think you did anything to blow the relationship. He definitely has other things going on in his life. I agree with your friends and family.......putting a clients $ in his account sounds off. There are issues there you don't need.

It may hurt now, but I think it would be worse down the road. Just my opinion.

Take care,

Sabra

I would agree with Sabra that you didn't do anything to ruin the relationship. Although a large part of it may be the loss of his job, there are probably other issues as well. You said that you deleted your ex's number from your phone because you might call him when you are having a hard time. Perhaps your boyfriend did what you only thought about and went back to his old ex.

Its not an excuse, but losing a job can be very devestating, especially under the conditions that your boyfriend did. Whether he deposited the money on purpose is something that only he knows. There is no way to know for sure. You know him, so you would have a good idea as to whether or not that is something he is capable of doing on purpose.

Regardless of the fact that he was fired, blowing you off with little to no explaination doesn't sound like the act of a person who is in love. That doesn't mean that you did anything. That is on him. Don't leave your life hanging while you wait for him to come around, IF he comes around. I would be concerned about that sort of behavior. He knows that you have been cheated on before and that you are emotionally vulnerable. He should have been more honest about his feelings if he doesn't feel a relationship is something he can or wants to handle now.

You deserve to have someone in your life that respects your needs, fears and wants. Breaking up may feel like the end of the world, but accepting it and telling yourself that it wasn't something you did may give you a little peace.

Sam2

stay strong

I'm sorry "Depressed" but i doubt you'll hear from him again. I hate to say it, but it looks like you were just a "port" in a storm.

And he DID purposely deposit that money in his account. How could he have ACCIDENTLY deposited someone else's money into HIS account? Why not someone else's account by accident? NO, it just "happened" to be HIS account. This was NO accident, sweetie. This guy is a slime ball, in my mind, and you CAN do much better! With him, all you would have is heartaches.

I wish you the very best -- just move on and try to make better choices in men from now on. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

-- we cannot predict whether he will ever want to see you again

-- two months of dating is not enough to form an opinion with regards to whether he is capable of fraud; the best thing for you is to accept that you will never know the truth (which is what Sam2 suggested to you). People have been known to deceive those very mature adults who have known them closely for years, and still. And you only went on dates twice a week for two months, holding hands and sleeping together. How would holding hands and sleeping together help you judge his potential as far as fraud goes? Plus, you are very young to make that assessment anyway. You do not have enough life experience.

-- you titled the thread "very depressed", called yourself "Depressedgirl8", posted the message in the Depression section, and the content of the message is very depressive. That is a lot of depression going on! You need to do something about it! There are ways to improve your condition (not necessarily for sure, but with high likelihood). There are exercise, sunlight, antidepressants, therapy, group therapy, coffee, journalling... do those. Calling or texting someone who said that he wanted to be alone has never shown any promise as far as depression relief goes.