[sick91]

Hello, new member here. I am 22 years old and have had depression for at least 9 years. It has pretty much ruined my life, I had to drop out of school and have lost all my friends, hobbies etc. My depression is a combination of anxiety, almost constant "blues", low self esteem and horrible fatigue.
After years of trying to "think positive" and kick myself in the butt I have come to realize that it's not working. I can't make a change by myself, it's hopeless. I have been on and off treatment for years, gone through therapy and antidepressants. Problem is, it has never had any effect. None at all.
With the meds I just got some side effects, nothing too bad but no effect on my mood. It was like I wasn't even taking anything.

This has left me really hopeless. I've read a little about treatment resistant depression but nobody seems to have any answers for what to do when the common treatments don't work. Eating healthy and exercising doesn't help either, not that I could even keep that up long considering I have weeks and month that I can barely for myself out of bed because of the insane fatigue. But working out just makes me feel even more tired, it's never given me any energy.

I have tried 4 meds, some multiple times - three SSRIs and one SNRI. I know it's not a big number, but I'm skeptical about trying more meds because surely I should have had at least SOME effect?! I have never heard of anyone not getting any effect whatsoever from multiple antidepressants... That's not normal right, usually people get at least some temporal effect and then it goes away or they get too many side effects etc.

Frankly I hate the idea of starting another medication and getting my hopes up just to have them crushed again.

I've always had the standard 1-3 months test time and relatively low doses (although I often lift the dose by myself because I see no effect and little side effects). Should I demand higher doses and try meds for a longer time? Does that make any difference?

Is it possible to have a depression where no treatment works? I know I will have this for the rest of my life if I don't find some miracle cure - or rather, a way to manage with the depression because I know I will probably never get rid of it. But right now I don't even have faith that I could ever achieve anything close to normal, to be able to socialize, go out, have a job etc.

Thanks for anyone who bothered to read this and who has some answers...I'm really holding on to my last hope here :P

[Rohag]

Welcome, Sick91. Thank you for joining.

Originally Posted by sick91

Should I demand higher doses and try meds for a longer time? Does that make any difference?

Higher doses can work for some. Using meds and therapy together is often considered best, but you've not experienced relief.

Originally Posted by sick91

Is it possible to have a depression where no treatment works?

Unfortunately, yes. Among the treatments sometimes considered for folks who don't respond to medications are

• Vagus Nerve Stimulation
• Electroconvulsive Therapy (controversial)
• Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation

This is something to discuss with your treatment team.

[gracez]

i have no idea what the answer is but i also haven't experienced any relief (only 3 meds though) which makes me feel more hopeless

I hope you all find something that works. I'm also going through the same issue, I've tried 4/5 different meds, nothing was working then I found out I was pregnant and stopped even dealing with it. Now five years later I'm trying again. Trying a new med and going to a therapist for the first time in my life. 4th appointment is next week and I'm still really discouraged. Good luck.

[bluefish27]

I'm in the same exact place. You spoke what was in my heart. I don't have answers too, but a big hug and loving thoughts sent out to you.

[ThisWayOut]

You only mentioned trying 2 classes of meds. To really consider that med resistant depression and give up hope, I would suggest trying other meds. Lately they will combine anti depressants with atypical antipsychotics to help boost effects. It is not that uncommon to get zero positive effects from meds when you try a few (though for me it was not described as zero positive effects, just very subtle effects that I was likely not to notice).
There are also different styles of therapy you can try. Some styles don't work for some people, it's just the nature of the thing. I would suggest also looking into different forms of therapy before giving up and moving on to the more invasive alternative treatments mentioned above. Some people respond better to directive therapies, or a behavioral modification therapy. There's art therapy and other creative therapies. There are also different styles of each. If you have the access, I would look into some of those first. Can you pinpoint what about therapy did not work for you? what were your expectations vs what actually happened?
Med-resistant depression is scary, and you don't want to find yourself in that hole quite yet. I have tried many, many meds, most of which either did nothing for my mood or made me worse. I've found that meds to help me sleep (but only if I need them) and meds for anxiety (also only if I need them at the time) help pull me out long enough to put more effort into the therapy portion is what works best for me. I have also found I need to tackle the roots of my depression with a more intensive and trauma-focused therapy. I will try that a million times over any of the invasive treatments, but that's just my opinion on it... what I'm saying is, look around a bit more and keep trying things before you totally give up. And if in the end you decide to go the route of one of those treatments, make sure you do a TON of research into it. Talk to people that have had the procedures done, talk to "experts" , ask around and read up as much as you can.

An allergy specialist may be able to help you with the fatigue. It could be the result
of some allergens that you are inhaling or ingesting that cause that sort of thing; it isn't
only depression that can cause it by any means.

Have you ever been given a food med called "Deplin"? (look at it online http://www.Deplin.com ). 70% of depressed people do not have the necessary enzymes in the stomach to metabolize folate into a form the brain can use to build serotonin neurotransmitters. (And serotonin is the "good feeling" neurotransmitter.) Only a genetic test will determine if you have that condition, but my psychiatrist thought that if Deplin worked, there was no need to do the genetic testing. It worked for me and I take one 20 mg. tablet per day. It takes no more than 15 to 30 days for you to feel the improvement. It's inexpensive here. I pay about $15.00 per month for a supply, and I think it's covered by most insurance companies. I know of at least one other person who is med resistant who takes Deplin and finds that it's very helpful. (I wouldn't be without mine, frankly.)

After your psychiatrist has put you on Deplin, (even your personal physician can prescribe that for you), I would go back to my personal physician and ask for some
blood work to determine your levels of vitamins. Medications take their share of
vitamin storehouses in our systems when they are metabolized, and it's often
important to have that checked on occasion when feeling tone gets very low.

A psychotherapist might be the person to help with self-esteem issues, although once
you get your serotonin levels high enough, you may find yourself feeling much better
about yourself.

If your psychiatrist resists the idea of Deplin, I'd get another doctor, frankly. People
with depression can respond to so many different things, and I believe we generally
have a very sensitive system that needs special care.

There are other things you can do in your diet to help. Reduce the acids of fluids
and tissues. We'll help with as much as we are able, but right now you need to find
out what's really going on with your system.

Take care and get the chemistry work done with your internist or general practitioner
to find out all you need to know and then go for it.

[Starla Dear]

I totally understand where you're coming from. When a new doc asks what depression/anxiety meds I've been on, I say, "Go down the list, and I'll tell you if I recognize the name," because I have tried so many that I lost count a long time ago. I always got side effects--often the really weird ones that hardly anyone gets (hello, vertigo). I'm in the same place as you. I've given up on meds. But my depression has gotten so bad again that I'm tempted to consider it--but then I think about the bad experiences and feel hopeless.

[OldLife]

I bothered to read your topic and as terrible as it sounds, this is something quite common. I myself have feelings pretty much all the same as you have. I'm 20 years old and I have suffered depression only few years, but I still feel like I'm in a dead end. I don't feel like fighting back. I have tried my best so far, regural therapy, 3 different meds, coping mekanisms, but I always end up to this point where I just don't care. When I start a new med, my hopes goes up and then they come down.

I'm so sick of that I don't know when my mood is going to swing and what I am able to and what not to do in the near future. Not that there would be much to do anyways, but like now I would be going to meet my aunt next weekend. Only thing is, that I cannot promise anything of I would be there, because my mood changes dramatically without any pattern all the time. And when my mood is bad again, it's the most typical depressive horror that you here in the forums know. I keep considering suicide almost everyday.