[jacq10]

Well this is my first time on here... and i dont really know what i'm supposed to write... but I guess i just dont know whats wrong with me. Last year my parents separated and I've spent all year trying to cope with it, talking to counsellors at my school and stuff... but now its the summer, and i just graduated so i no longer have the same counsellor (because i went to school away from home). And now I still feel upset all of the time... except i dont think that it just has to do with my parents because i honestly dont care about that anymore. Im just scared because I dont know how to try and even attempt to even fix how i'm feeling because i dont know why i'm so upset all of the time. Whenever i'm busy with friends most of the time i feel fine... but other times i dont even want to be around them. Its like i'm pushing them away ... and i feel so alone. I dont know what to do.

[(JD)]

Welcome to PC (((jac))) I think you could still be dealing with a divorce reaction...you said you spent all year trying to cope...which implies you never really reached any good goal for yourself.

Maybe by talking about the situation, the divorce, will help me see where you are with it??? Are you living "at home" or where??? Since you aren't away at school... where are you? What are you doing now, if not school?

You don't have to answer any questions you don't wish to, btw. TC!

[jacq10]

Well I went to a boarding school (in which i LOVED) for the past two years ... and i started seeing the counsellor there just this past year from after Christmas on .... and i saw her once a week since then.... but now i'm back home again, and none of my close friends live near me at all... and i dont get along with either one of my parents .... I leave to go to University in September so i can't really talk to anyone right now ... i just feel like i'm stuck with no one around that cares about me and i'm scared that i'm slipping back to feeling so down all the time again...

[(JD)]

Well, yeah that sounds like a tough spot...but at least the living arrangements are temporary.... can you recall a time when you did get along with your parents? Do you feel you were part of the reason they divorced?

I'm glad you found PC! There are plenty of members here who will give you support to help you through this time...and hopefully you'll still have time for us once college starts!

TC!

[jacq10]

I haven't really ever gotten along with my parents... we're just such different people and i feel like they just dont understand me. And i know that i must sound like a typical teenager, but i think that this is deeper than that. But what i'm more worried about right now is just how upset i've been lately. I really dont think that it has to do with my parents because i've tried dealing with that, and i feel like i've talked that to its death... i'm just scared that i might have something actually wrong with me and i'm just blaming the whole thing on my parents separation...

[(JD)]

Ok. But don't totally diss the idea that the anxiety and unhappiness might be coming from the separation... maybe some anger about it, maybe about it not happening sooner so you could have had a happy childhood?

Can you begin to develop a new relationship with them now, as an adult? Are you relying upon anything from them still? That would mean you do have to have a relationship still...

Do you realize it is very common to suppressing painful emotions and to try and dust them off as non existent? A divorce affect everyone... how did you find out? Who told you? How did you feel about it when you heard? Did you agree with what the parent who told you said? These are rhetorical questions... things I guess you talked through?

The reason I am sticking with the divorce issue is because, imo, if it was truly settled within you, it would not have been in your first post in the depresson forum. I believe we know, inside, what is troubling us, even if we don't realize it consciously.

I need to sleep now...but will look for any response later on, ok? TTYL TC!

Welcome

welcome to pc jacq10.

im sorry to hear that you are unhappy. i agree with sky, shes a very good person to turn to if you need to.

the thing we have to remember about the human body and mind is that conciously we may feel we've "delt" with an isue we had, but sub-conciously we havent, and you cannot control or lie to your sub-concious. talking to councillors may not have helped you enough yet, have you tried looking for a councillor in your local area and going to them until you go to uni in spetember.

have you ever said how you feel about the divorce to your parents? are they aware of your unhappiness?

if you truly feel you have dealt with the divorce, there could be something else from your past or present that is slowly surfacing. it could be anything. has anything traumatic happened to you as a child, that you may have just pushed to the back of your mind? i ask this because often you find that one problem (the divorce) can trigger a previousl problem but because we think its the initial problem (the divorce) we miss the other issue. its about looking past the divorce for now, into your past and seeing if there is anything else that you have bot yet confronted.

dont feel you need to answer any of these questions to us if you dont want to, there is no pressure. it may be the fact that if you find an issue you may not want to talk about it, which is ok, because it shows you have accepted it and are now willing to deal with it.

feel free to pm me at any time, im here for a chat and im happy to help as much as i can.

once again, welcome to pc, and i hope you find all the help you need here.

take care jacq10. speak soon

[bipolar_bear]

Welcome jacq. I really just wanted to let you know that there are people out here listening and trying to understand. Just not sure what to say. Know I care and am willing to listen anytime

[jacq10]

Thanks everyone ... I had no idea there would actually be people on here that would be so supportive. Thanks for the feedback

((((((jacq10))))))

[jacq10]

thanks jax... : )