It just feels so fragile. Like walking on eggshells, so cautious with what I say but ending up saying something horrible in spite of that. Getting too comfortable but never secure enough. I feel like anyone who says they love me, all it'd take is one minute, one minute of me saying something mean, stupid, aggressive, one minute of me acting too needy, or too depressed, or too whatever, and that's all it'd take for them to get tired of me. I'm afraid to meet new people. But when I begin getting close to someone, instead of trying to prevent them leaving me, I seem to act out of fear and insecurity and, without realizing it, actually push them to leave me faster.

[Travelinglady]

Dear one, I suspect these feelings are coming from the borderline aspect. I think this issue would be one to address with a therapist.

I'm sure you ARE loved.

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Dear one, I suspect these feelings are coming from the borderline aspect. I think this issue would be one to address with a therapist.

I'm sure you ARE loved.

Yes, but also from depression.

Thank you.

[Puffyprue]

its really hard to love someone who insecure, i know because iam insecure myself because insecurity its like poison to any relationship,the only thing you could do is to work on your insecurity and talk to your therapist, CBT has helped me a little how to cope with relationship with people and analyzed situation better ,talk to your therapist and maybe she can help you to find what therapy that might best for you

*hugs*

[Travelinglady]

True. Depression can lead people to have negative feelings about themselves. I was thinking about the "pushing people away" aspect.

[pantera4420]

I believe you are perceiving it wrong and the people that care about you do really love you.

Yeah, it's a combination of the two.

Thanks, guys.

[Vossie42]

Sounds like you want to reject people before they can reject you. That's a sign of low self-esteem and irrational beliefs. People will love you to varying degrees. And they're imperfect in their love. So, everyone's bound to get hurt sooner or later. That can range from little hurts to big hurts. Building up your self-esteem will help you weather the little hurts better. Also, examining the situation and your thoughts and emotions about the situation can help you identify irrational beliefs. Such examination can turn the little hurts into non-issues and help you better respond to the bigger hurts.

As other people suggested, talking to a therapist would help. Your behavior is not unusual. Many, many, many people do this to some degree regardless of their mental health status.

You're not alone!

[Ultra Darkness]

I'm thinking of the Linkin Park song, Pushing me Away, for some reason. The corus goes:

"The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I never walked away
Why I played myself this way
And now I see
You're testing me
Pushes me away"

Then there's the remix, in which the corus is:

"The sacrifice is never knowing
Why I stay
When you just push away
No matter what you see
You're still so blind to me"

So, yeah.
The music nerd will leave now.

It really is so fragile.

That's been confirmed in my life so many times.

[bharani1008]

The only cure I've found for insecurity is trying to help someone else.

[CharactorAssassin]

Your topic is plain lie to yourself and others. simply don't believe these lies. lies used by the person are used with the purpose to kill steal and destroy.

Originally Posted by CharactorAssassin

Your topic is plain lie to yourself and others. simply don't believe these lies. lies used by the person are used with the purpose to kill steal and destroy.

I don't see how it's a lie when every single person that ever said they loved me left and hates me now.