[douglas76]

If you would have talked to me 4 or 5hrs ago, even 1hr ago you would of been worried about me, teary eyed, not talkative (less than usual), quiet, testy even. Yet now, nothing. I don't feel nothing. This can't be normal!!! This isn't the first time either, it happens all the time. I'm not manic, I just feel like I could carry on with my day. If you would of asked me an hour ago, I don't know what I would of answered.

This I can do, this is anonymous, you don't know me from Adam. I can't tell or talk to others about this. One person yes, but I don't know if that is the problem!

[Rohag]

Hello, Douglas76! How long has this been going on - weeks, months, years?

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[douglas76]

I feel like I am stuck. I just want to go to bed, sleep and wake up feeling better. My personal life is complicated to see the least. My professional life isn't much easier. The last 2 1/2yrs really took there toll on my mind and body. I don't do well with change, I like routine. I took a big step earlier and sent an email to a local dr., I don't know how I am going to talk with her, or what I will even talk about. I choose a female doc, because I can talk with women, I have never really been able to get close with men, with one exception.

I can't go on like this. Whatever it is that is wrong with me is affecting the one relationship I value above all others. I don't see what she see's in me. She tells me that she see's herself in me. I don't see me in her. I maybe see my alter-ego, the Hyde to my Jekyll. We are compatible on almost every level, with the only exception being that I have been known to be jealous (although in my defense, she was being flirted with in front of, and by people who knew she was in a relationship with me). We can talk with each other about anything, sit in silence, play games, the sex is phenomenal. We don't spend as much time together as I would like, and time alone together is even harder to come by. But I always put her needs and the needs of her son first. I know I am far from perfect, but this relationship fulfills me in ways that I didn't know I needed filled. Even after over three years, my heart still skips a beat when I see her or her son, when we kiss after being apart, my stomach flips. I need help, I need help because if I don't get it I will lose what I love.

My mood keeps changing, I can't keep my thoughts straight, the only company I want is hers, but she can't be here for me which really hurts. I am always there for here, but there are times when I need her to be there for me and she can't.

[douglas76]

Give or take about 2 1/2yrs. There are periods of I suppose you could call it euphoria, few and far between, but the majority of the time it goes between down and "normal".

Originally Posted by Rohag

Hello, Douglas76! How long has this been going on - weeks, months, years?

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by douglas76

Give or take about 2 1/2yrs. There are periods of I suppose you could call it euphoria, few and far between, but the majority of the time it goes between down and "normal".

Yes, I'm glad you took the initiative to contact a doctor. As easy as it is to read your symptoms as psychological, it's important to get a full medical check.

Is your relationship such that you would feel comfortable telling your friend you are going to see a medical professional for your symptoms?

[douglas76]

It was the friend that has been pushing me to see a doctor. I mistakenly thought I could cope with this myself and plow through it. I now see the error of my way, but I don't think it is a medical problem, I think I can narrow down what the initial trigger was.

I want to talk about this with my friend, but I don't know how to broach it. I am a very private person, and although she knows me better than I know myself, it is still hard for me to bring it up.

Other than Asthma and allergies I am in good health. I just get depressed a lot, and it comes and goes within hrs sometimes. Starts for no reason, and ends for no reason. I have spent over $5k in the last three months, which can be classed as euphoric phases I suppose.