Iam in trouble

I want to die and I do not know why and I do not know how much longer I can go on with this feeling on and off Iam thinking kill yourself over an over again not a consistant thought but it is there

forget my post please

((( darkmood ))) Have you told anyone in real life how you are feeling? Are you in therapy? Please get help if you haven't already. Life doesn't have to be like that.

I get that way a lot as well. I don't know if this helps. There was this book called the power of intention. One way to get out of this type of thinking Is to have an intention. Like "I want to feel good". So you see there what you ultimately want is to feel good. Or be happy. So you can say to yourself "I want to be happy" over and over again like a mantra. Changing the channel of your thoughts into something you intend. Then the universe arranges itself based on your intention. Kind of like magical thinking. But I think I'm going to look into that book again. I hope you feel better soon I also thought that this is a lot like we what prayer is. Its magical thinking. Or for it to make sense you call it intention. So its like you have some kind of power over your life.

Yes I told my therapist yesterday and she asked me if I was going to hospital I said no

May I ask if your saying no was a positive or negative response? Are you feeling more in control, or do you fear leaving the darkness?

Yes it was postive I am feeling more in control now

I am not depressed Does anyone else not feel depressed and has wanted to die

I think everyone here can relate to that. but, i'd like to think that every being directly affects the bigger picture. Maybe we were chosen to suffer because we are special. maybe there's not a reason at all, though I find that unlikely. but your life is precious, even to myself, a complete stranger, so please get help and choose to live.

((((darkmood)))). Even when I'm not depressed i want to just die at times, so ya i feel like that too.

darkmood, I also frequently feel suicidal, even when I think I'm doing well or not depressed. It helps if I stay on medication, see a therapist, and go to a support group. I don't enjoy having to do all these things and can easily come up with excuses not to do them, but I know that I am so much worse if I don't take care of myself. Even when I do a good job of taking care of myself, I still have thoughts of self-harm and death.

I hope that you continue to reach out to others and seek help.

I do all those things you mentioned plus go to a day program

If you are not depressed why "darkmood" with an identified mood as "depressed"?

Darkmood I can relate to your feelings as many can because I feel them many times a week sometimes on a bad day it can be many times a day. A nurse told me to distract myself as in a big distraction. I'm just afraid that one day they will take over and that will be the end of me.Unfortunately, its down to us the person the end of the day which way they will go. I'm sorry that I dont have any answers but maybe with the right meds those very bad feelings will fade in time. Best wishes to you.

How are you feeling now? If your still suicidal please go to the hospital to get help..

Its good you are involving yourself in therapy, do you think if you went hospital even though you told your therapist you didn't want to go, do you think it will help?

Claire..

It seems to not make much sense to want to kill yourself when there are processes outside of ourselves beyond comprehension. The truth being stranger then fiction.