[Ames1996]

First, how long does depression last? I think my husbands was brought on by a stressful living situation, starting school, taking care of me and all my craziness, he had a serious episode of depression when he was younger (13-14) and had to be institutionalized, but in the past 18 years I haven't seen much of it. I don't think this is a life time struggle for him, I think things got too much and he just shut down, is that possible?

Second, I am having a seriously hard time dealing with the rejection. I'm already paranoid and have realllly low self esteem, and this is killing me.

I miss my happy, loving, amazing, caring husband. I haven't heard him laugh in weeks.

Last month we were talking about our future together, and now, it seems hopeless. Is it possible to get back to where we were?

Last, can depression just hit you all of a sudden? It's like he went to bed fine and woke up a stranger.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!!!!!

[lynn P.]

Welcome to psychcentral Ames1996. How long does depression last? It depends what kind of depression....... whether its circumstantial and other factors. For example if its circumstantial, depression may be temporary and lift when things improve. Can you have a calm talk and ask him to share how he's feeling? Since he's accommodated you, he may be trying to spare you. Come from a concerned POV rather than accusatory. Good luck.

[phaset]

Ames, I think I am on the other side of a similar situation. I'm not going to say this is what is going on, but hopefully my perspective will help.

I have a hard time talking about my problems with anyone and it seems the closer I am to someone the harder it is. I know I am isolating myself from my wife and I feel terrible about this. I also feel that what is hurting me could also hurt her. I love my wife very much and don't want to be a burden on her. I know thinking like this doesn't make sense and that I am also hurting her, but it's so hard to do anything else. It's automatic.

Anyway, I know you are feeling rejection, but it's possible it's isolation on his part and not inteded to hurt you. Isolation or withdrawing from the ones you love is one of the symptoms of depression.

I know you are concerned about your husband, but you need to remember to take care of yourself too. You mentioned that you have really low self esteem. Is there anything that could help you with that?

[Ames1996]

Thank you both for answering. I actually started therapy 2 weeks ago. I appreciate the advice from the other side. It's so hard not to take it to heart, but, I also know that is NOT my husband.

[justmemaybe]

I can go on all life long on and off.

[justmemaybe]

heres a link hope it helps
Depression: Frequently Asked Questions