I just had my second session yesterday. Why do I feel more depressed than ever? He mentioned that I appeared very reserved and guarded. Then suggested I be placed on an anxiety med. I don't get why I'm feeling this way , I thought id be feeling hopeful when in fact I feel worse. This scares me a bit and that I just need too give it more time

[Pierro]

Hi Newfie, I think the reason why you are feeling more depressed than before is because you are maybe re-living things that are very personal to you. When we talk about things like that it obviously stirs up memories and that's what happened to me. Things will get better. Best wishes to you.

[newlifeyeah]

well said Pierro!

Newfie: If you really choose to dig deep in yourself, then you have to accept that it's gonna hurt more than anything so far, you felt. Imagine it like it was a surgery. And then, imagine having a surgery without painkillers. That's what it feels like. But you have to take the surgery to get well.

This is the same what I'm going through. I've been about 12 times at my new therapist. And all I can say is that it still hurts every single time. But the picture does get clearer.
If it hurts, it's a sign, that it's working.

You are very strong, and you're gonna be able to go through it! I'm rooting for you. I know it's very hard, but on the long run, it's the only way.

Like I always say, about depression, the only way out is through.

[konstargirl]

I'm so sorry. I do hope thins work out for you and your therapist. I have been seeing my therapist 4 times now and every time I go I feel a lot better after telling her how my week has been going. Thank god I'm seeing her tomorrow.

[Cheshire Grin]

For me personally, I need a place to feel safe and supported in therapy. The therapist I made the most progress with was very conscientious about pushing me too hard. If I cried a lot, he would actually apologize to me. Of course, I would never make progress without reliving and analyzing excruciatingly painful subjects with a good therapist, but I wouldn't want to work with one who was clumsy with my wounds. I am concerned, konstargirl, that this therapist may not be a good fit for you.

[newlifeyeah]

Originally Posted by Cheshire Grin

For me personally, I need a place to feel safe and supported in therapy. The therapist I made the most progress with was very conscientious about pushing me too hard. If I cried a lot, he would actually apologize to me. Of course, I would never make progress without reliving and analyzing excruciatingly painful subjects with a good therapist, but I wouldn't want to work with one who was clumsy with my wounds. I am concerned, konstargirl, that this therapist may not be a good fit for you.

in my opinion therapy is not because there's a place needed for you to feel safe. It's about discovering yourself. and understanding. and maybe perhaps facing and changing some of your mechanisms that lead you to depression. After a few sessions you should feel safe too, because you know you can deeply trust your therapist. You will feel safe because you face your problems, not because you don't talk about them.

[Cheshire Grin]

I can't talk to someone about intimate details of myself, if I think they are going to be hurtful or dismissive. That means I have to trust them. Not all therapists are worthy of trust. And not all trustworthy therapists will have the tools or desire to help me.

[konstargirl]

The first time I saw my therapist in April I was nervous at first because I didn't know how it will be like and I never seen a therapist before. After seeing her I felt some relieved and it's not as bad as I thought.

Thank you all for your feedback. I think my therapist seems fine and itsprobably just me. I'm scared for this reason, for me to finally go to some one for help means that I must have a little glimmer of hope, me feeling worse scares me because I'm feeling/thinking, what if I just don't get it or can't find my way with his help, if not then my glimmer of hope is gone. With no hope what is there? This scares me. I'm on aplenzin the largest dose and I was just prescribed zoloft. I hope this helps and gives me some relief. I'm so tired.

[newlifeyeah]

Originally Posted by Newfie girl

Thank you all for your feedback. I think my therapist seems fine and itsprobably just me. I'm scared for this reason, for me to finally go to some one for help means that I must have a little glimmer of hope, me feeling worse scares me because I'm feeling/thinking, what if I just don't get it or can't find my way with his help, if not then my glimmer of hope is gone. With no hope what is there? This scares me. I'm on aplenzin the largest dose and I was just prescribed zoloft. I hope this helps and gives me some relief. I'm so tired.

yes you feel tired, because you're mentally tired. I feel the same way. But working on yourself, and trying to get to know yourself better is a super hard procedure, where you have to change some of the fundamentals of the way you have been living your life so far. So it's very hard. but on the long run I would compare it to a moth turning into a butterfly. imagine that could hurt too, but look at the outcome! Zoloft will help you maintain that hope. I promise
good luck! hugs

Originally Posted by newlifeyeah

yes you feel tired, because you're mentally tired. I feel the same way. But working on yourself, and trying to get to know yourself better is a super hard procedure, where you have to change some of the fundamentals of the way you have been living your life so far. So it's very hard. but on the long run I would compare it to a moth turning into a butterfly. imagine that could hurt too, but look at the outcome! Zoloft will help you maintain that hope. I promise
good luck! hugs

I hope so. Thank you for your wonderful feedback.

[newlifeyeah]

Originally Posted by Newfie girl

I hope so. Thank you for your wonderful feedback.

you are welcome. I'm here whenever you need me.