[Sadley]

Hello, I am wondering if anybody can help me or offer any advice. This is kind of a long story but I need help.

I've had depression since childhood as early as 5 years old (male), never saw a counselor for it just kept brushing it off. So last year in mid-October I started seeing an individual therapist. I've told him my life story, and we've talked about lots of things, but nothing seems to help me with my depression. So I started taking meds and I've been on lots of them now since January of this year. I've felt no positives from any of the meds I've taken at all, but some side effects. I swear I feel absolutely the same mentally as I did without any meds. Can I possibly be unable to be affected by psych meds? I don't understand.

I've done so many things to improve my health. I've gotten a physical done with an internal medicine doctor to make sure that nothing physical was contributing to my depression. I have low Vitamin D but I really don't think that is doing much on my depression. Besides taking vitamin supplements I've tried other supplements such as St. John's Wort (which I've heard is terrible for depression but idk) and SAMe. I've gone to a partial hospitalization program that was every day for 6 hours. From there they decided I had to go in-patient because I kept saying my depression was a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. Going in-patient really didn't help me and I didn't want to be there at all. So I got out not too long ago and right now I'm in an intensive out-patient program (group therapy). I just flat out told the therapist in there that I really don't see this group helping me at all. She spends extra time at the end of every group with me to try to help me but it doesn't help. I hate my life so much. I can't go on like this much longer. What else do I have to do? ECT? I've thought about it. But it seems like a last resort thing? I feel so hopeless.

[BlueChris]

Hi, Sadley.

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling.

I was recently found to be very vitamin-D deficient. Being low can really affect your physical energy levels...moods too. I also was low in vitamin B-12. I have been taking doc-prescribed supplements for about 6 weeks. For me it has made a huge difference in my energy levels, which in turn helps somewhat to deal with my depressive episodes.

It is hard to be patient when various types of medications are tried, dosages changed, new ones tried. It is somewhat imprecise in process due to the nature of the beast. Please hang in there. It took a number of such switcheroos for something to "take" for me. I think others can share similar experiences. And it does (again frustratingly) take time for effects to be seen/felt. It works differently for each individual.

Do you have any support from friends or family?

Is your individual therapist working with you on specific issues? Goals?

You stated you had gotten a physical done. Do you know if they checked thyroid function? I'm female and that is one thing which was checked in my recent physical to make sure that wasn't contributing to my moods crashing and general lack of energy.

Who's prescribing the meds you're trying? My general practice/family practice doc was the first to prescribe my meds but it took seeing a specialist (psychiatric doc) to get the meds right for me.

I'm thinking of you.

Sorry you're having difficulty with depression, Sadley. And, yes, it is very possible to be medication resistant.

Ask your psychiatrist what he/she thinks about a relatively new food medication called
Deplin which can cross the blood-brain barrier to provide folate (vitamin B-9) to increase
serotonin neurotransmitters in the brain.

70% of depressed people are lacking the enzymes in the stomach that metabolize
folic acid into a form the brain can use. I know of one medication resistant person
for whom Deplin works. It takes about 2 weeks for improvement to begin to show, but it's worth its weight in gold if that is the cause of your depression. I use it also---20 mg. per day and wouldn't be without it if at all possible.

Genetic testing will identify it, but your psychiatrist might be willing, (as mine was) just to prescribe it and see how it works. If it works, there's no need to undergo genetic testing.

Look back at your family history on both sides. Has anyone in your family had trouble
with depression besides you? Things of that sort may be a clue to you that depression
is inherited in the family in some cases.

I genuinely hope you find the things that work, because I know that it is no fun suffering
from depression.

There are other things, too, that will help alleviate the depressive symptoms, but take it one
at a time, please. Find out about Deplin; if it works, let us know, and I'll give you the ideas
my psychiatrist recommended for me to try to assist with improvement in feeling tone. They
do work for some of us.

Good wishes.

Originally Posted by genetic

Sorry you're having difficulty with depression, Sadley. And, yes, it is very possible to be medication resistant.

Ask your psychiatrist what he/she thinks about a relatively new food medication called
Deplin which can cross the blood-brain barrier to provide folate (vitamin B-9) to increase
serotonin neurotransmitters in the brain.

70% of depressed people are lacking the enzymes in the stomach that metabolize
folic acid into a form the brain can use. I know of one medication resistant person
for whom Deplin works. It takes about 2 weeks for improvement to begin to show, but it's worth its weight in gold if that is the cause of your depression.

Genetic testing will identify it, but your psychiatrist might be willing, (as mine was) just to prescribe it and see how it works. If it works, there's no need to undergo genetic testing.

Look back at your family history on both sides. Has anyone in your family had trouble
with depression besides you? Things of that sort may be a clue to you that depression
is inherited in the family in some cases.

I genuinely hope you find the things that work, because I know that it is no fun suffering
from depression.

Good wishes.

You have to at least have some antidepressent onboard doing some good first tho, correct? Deplin just increases it's positive effects.

Originally Posted by sorta_fairytale

You have to at least have some antidepressent onboard doing some good first tho, correct? Deplin just increases it's positive effects.

My understanding is that Deplin increases the serotonin neurotransmitter sites.
Those antidepressants that are the SSRIs or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors
hold serotonin within the brain cells longer, and I would think (though I
don't know this) that Deplin also may contribute to the increase of serotonin itself.
I believe 5htpTryptophan may be involved also--not just tryptophan; that
can't cross the blood-brain barrier.

Vitamin B9 or folate is a vitamin which the brain requires for serotonin effectiveness.
Without the ability (because of lacking the stomach enzymes) to transform folic acid
into a form of folate the brain can use, the brain just suffers excessive deficiency of
neurotransmitters that give the "good feeling tone". Prozac, which is an SSRI actually
works on other types of neurotransmitters, as well, so I suppose that it would be
wise to take an additional form of depression medication while one is taking a food med
especially designed for the serotonin neurotransmitter sites.

Deplin does its job nicely.

[adam_k]

Antidepressants work by increasing levels of serotonine, dopamine, norepinephrine, or epinephrine. If you don't have a problem with any of these neurotransmitters, then increasing the amount available won't have much if an affect. Test aren't typically done to test for this, and antidepressants are used on a trial and error type of approach.

Depression doesn't have to be chemical. There could be real reasons or tramautic events in ones life that can lead a person to fall into depression. Child hood events, even those you can't remember can be a cause. Lack of positive relationships, lack of any of the basic needs can cause it. It would be very hard to be happy if you are starving to death, or where in a constant fear for you own safety. The feeling of not belonging or feeling you are accoepted can lead to loneliness, isolation and depression.

I think that is why the combination of meds and therapy is most succcessful. It could be a little biological and a little cognitive, or either one or the other and that approach cover the most ground.

It is very possible that the medications may not work for you, or you haven't found one that is effective. Myself I haven't had much luck with SSRI. I started taking Wellbutrin and it seems to help so far.

[sewerrats]

Its hard living with depression, im 65 but in my head im 35 because of the years I have missed when in a never ending cycle of doom and gloom. The time in remmision is the only time I remember ,so hence the missing years, my wife say,s I don't want to remember has they were crazy times for her an my family . So keep pluging on there is something out there to put you in remission if only for a period of time till the next crash. life,s a ***** but its the only one we have.

[Sadley]

Thanks for all your replies. Maybe I should say a little more about myself because I agree with adam_k that depression is caused by real reasons. I'm a 23 year old male and I have no friends. I haven't had a real friend since the first grade. I've never had any close relationships, period. I am extremely lonely all the time. Since kindergarten, I've gotten an overwhelming sense that I didn't fit in, and that I could never fit in. To this day I still feel like I don't belong anywhere, I'm unaccepted, an outcast, a failure, everything. I've gone to a lot of therapy and I know that I have a problem with negative thinking patterns (saying "never", "always", "should have", etc) but I can't seem to change it. I just can't see it any other way. I've had a lot of emotional trauma as a child because my dad was very unsociable; he never liked having guests/friends come over to the house, he constantly complained about everything, and I felt that he was disappointed in me. I was a late bloomer in everything, didn't learn to drive until I was 19, and my dad had this huge expectation of getting a job early and driving early like at age 15. I never got a job until after my dad died, and so I see myself as a failure in his eyes. When I was 20, I had to watch my dad die slowly and painfully in the hospital until finally we decided to pull the plug. He had diabetes to the most severity.

Back to now. I have taken a capsule of Vitamin D3 50k units over the course of 8 weeks, felt exactly the same afterward, am now on 2k unit supplement. I'm also taking a B-complex supplement.

I have a supportive family, but they all have no understanding of depression and they just don't "get" me so I feel very distant from them. I have no friends.

I've told my individual therapist my goals, and he says it wouldn't be wise to pursue them right now and he's right, I see no way of moving forward from here, I'm doomed.

I don't know if they checked my thyroid, no.

I have a good psychiatrist that prescribed the meds.

Genetic: Thanks for explaining Deplin, I had never heard of it before. I will definitely talk to my psychiatrist about it.

adam_k: I started on Prozac, but now I've been on Welbutrin for about 4 months and I can't tell any effect at the maximum dosage of 450 mg.

[H3rmit]

Hi Sadley - your words resonate with a lot of my own sad experience.

Thyroid tends to get checked if you are overweight. If you are not, they probably wouldn't have.

[bharani1008]

I can relate to almost everything you talk about. I also lack the know how to make friends. I've never been able to make them or to keep them if I did make them.
The best thing I've found for that loneliness and alienation is to help others. Find some way to give love and support to someone. There are so many groups that focus on helping others that it is relatively easy to find somewhere that fits your personality. Even if you don't get the acknowledgement you would hope for from these actions the benefit is enormous.
Keep trying with the meds. They are discovering new things all the time. It took 2 years to get the right mix.
I hope you feel better soon.You definitely came to the right place!

[Sadley]

I'm so sick of waiting...it is so hard. I don't want to wait 2 years, my life is passing me by. I can't stand this, it is horrible.

[InfiniteSadness]

Hey, i agree, its ruining my life.. i might as well not exist, sadly. I'm an EMPTY shell.