[HelloWorld18]

So I met these two girls yesterday with my friend, and I thought all was going well, today he tells me he asked what one of the girls thought of me, and they said that I was cute. About 2 hours later when we were getting ready to see them, he said "Oh but they also thought you're too feminine".

I really don't know what to think of this, I mean, I think of it as both good but extremely bad.

It's good because....
It means I take care of how I look
I care about how I present myself

It's bad because....
I've been told this my whole life, and I get called fag, queer, etc. at school and getting told this makes me feel even worse about myself.

The funniest (actually not funny, but very coincidental) of all this, is that I didn't think I was at all.

I admit, I am a bit feminine, albeit, if I get hurt, I'll hold it in and try not to show pain. But if my feelings are hurt, I literally feel like bursting out crying. That's how I feel now, but of course I wouldn't (I might in the bathroom though). As I'm writing this, the girls are on their way now. Oh wait, they literally just arrived. Yay -_-

So...

Please help me and give advice to make me feel better

Try to remember, Helloworld18, that when people make judgments of others, they are
not revealing anything about the person whom they're judging; they are
really revealing more of themselves than anything else.

Just live your life by your deepest principles and you'll be fine. Don't ever judge
yourself; just evaluate who you are by your deep respect for yourself and consider
that as the proper way to see oneself. You'll be much stronger if you don't listen
to talk like theirs. It's really unimportant to your well-being.

Negativity can be a loading for depression. You need to steer clear of it, if possible.

[HelloWorld18]

Originally Posted by genetic

Try to remember, Helloworld18, that when people make judgments of others, they are
not revealing anything about the person whom they're judging; they are
really revealing more of themselves than anything else.

Just live your life by your deepest principles and you'll be fine. Don't ever judge
yourself; just evaluate who you are by your deep respect for yourself and consider
that as the proper way to see oneself. You'll be much stronger if you don't listen
to talk like theirs. It's really unimportant to your well-being.

Negativity can be a loading for depression. You need to steer clear of it, if possible.

I'm currently on vacation with my friend, so I feel like I'm almost trapped for the next few days.

I really, really love your post. I think I might take a snapshot and look at it every time I'm feeling sad haha

[-jimi-]

Well... if someone has an opinion about you like that, there are also people who will see that as a good thing. People like each others because they are different, not because they want a generic person. Some people treats differences like they are a bad thing, but usually because they are young and their social intelligence is still evolving, or because they are stuck maybe because of fear of themselves being anything than generic.

Someone will like you for you, but it might not happen today. Feminine is not a bad thing. That is some weird thing "they" have taught some people. Doesn't make it the least true.

In my experience people who put others down usually have self-esteem problems themselves and can only be comfortable when driving others down to their level. Keep in mind that words can be said, but can only hurt us if we let them. As far as feminine and emotional goes I'll swap that for this sociopathic, severely depressed, empty shell that is me any day.

[bharani1008]

I am surmising that you a re pretty young yet--18? If so then jimi speaks truth. It takes experience and emotional intelligence to take pleasure in the great variety of people flavors. How very dull this world would be if we were just alike. If you have access to an older group of people you may find that you are more comfortable with them. You need not stop seeing your friends but don't let that group be your only contacts. For instance there are numerous social groups on this site and the conversations are very satisfying. If you have special interests or you like to do social service you can come into contact with a variety of people you may enjoy----and who will enjoy you.
I hope you keep posting here. We'll be interested in how you get on
Cheers

[HelloWorld18]

Originally Posted by jimi...

Well... if someone has an opinion about you like that, there are also people who will see that as a good thing. People like each others because they are different, not because they want a generic person. Some people treats differences like they are a bad thing, but usually because they are young and their social intelligence is still evolving, or because they are stuck maybe because of fear of themselves being anything than generic.

Someone will like you for you, but it might not happen today. Feminine is not a bad thing. That is some weird thing "they" have taught some people. Doesn't make it the least true.

Originally Posted by Sumtypabroken

In my experience people who put others down usually have self-esteem problems themselves and can only be comfortable when driving others down to their level. Keep in mind that words can be said, but can only hurt us if we let them. As far as feminine and emotional goes I'll swap that for this sociopathic, severely depressed, empty shell that is me any day.

Originally Posted by genetic

Try to remember, Helloworld18, that when people make judgments of others, they are
not revealing anything about the person whom they're judging; they are
really revealing more of themselves than anything else.

Just live your life by your deepest principles and you'll be fine. Don't ever judge
yourself; just evaluate who you are by your deep respect for yourself and consider
that as the proper way to see oneself. You'll be much stronger if you don't listen
to talk like theirs. It's really unimportant to your well-being.

Negativity can be a loading for depression. You need to steer clear of it, if possible.

Originally Posted by bharani1008

I am surmising that you a re pretty young yet--18? If so then jimi speaks truth. It takes experience and emotional intelligence to take pleasure in the great variety of people flavors. How very dull this world would be if we were just alike. If you have access to an older group of people you may find that you are more comfortable with them. You need not stop seeing your friends but don't let that group be your only contacts. For instance there are numerous social groups on this site and the conversations are very satisfying. If you have special interests or you like to do social service you can come into contact with a variety of people you may enjoy----and who will enjoy you.
I hope you keep posting here. We'll be interested in how you get on
Cheers

I would like to provide an update.

Apparently, they said I was too girly. I really don't know how this is, honestly. Maybe my voice is more feminine? But my friend has been the girly one, while I've been the dare devil, or so I thought. Like we went jet skiing and I told one of the girls who were driving to go faster, and when I hit the water hard multiple times I didn't complain I just said im ready to go again. While my friend was making a big deal about falling off, not only that, but he was scared if swimming because of the fish, cause he's scared of fish. When we were walking, there were spiders so I pretended to pick one up and put it on him.

Honestly, how in the world is any of that girly!?

None of your behavior is "girly". Remember, people really reveal themselves when they
make statements that are judgmental of others. I agree that it's probably just youth of the girls
in your case and lack of social knowledge of good behavior more than anything, but
certainly you manage yourself well.

Take care; you'll be fine.

Originally Posted by Sumtypabroken

In my experience people who put others down usually have self-esteem problems themselves and can only be comfortable when driving others down to their level. Keep in mind that words can be said, but can only hurt us if we let them. As far as feminine and emotional goes I'll swap that for this sociopathic, severely depressed, empty shell that is me any day.

____________________________________

Yes, I think it's probably almost always an effort to try to build oneself up
when driving others down is the only form of conduct one knows. I
dislike it intensely, too. Gotta keep with the positive, in my view.

[AV747]

Guy, girls like these boys like you, they feel sincerity. If a person is soft and vulnerable , this means that he is kind and responsive, that he is not a dummy. A generally better to avoid people who are trying to undermine your faith in yourself, this trait peculiar to bad people, unhappy, people who have no their lives.

[BadGirlBlues]

I agree with those who have advised you to be yourself. My sister (very pretty, btw) married a guy whom others considered. We all love him and he is a fabulous husband to her, very understanding and thoughtful. We are all jealous of her!

[-jimi-]

HW, then maybe it was just something they said. People say things they don't really mean all the time. Sometimes people are afraid to just admit they don't click with someone else which is totally normal, and instead they make it someone's "fault".

Have fun if you're still on holiday and take it a little easy at least, don't break any bones.

[HelloWorld18]

Originally Posted by genetic

None of your behavior is "girly". Remember, people really reveal themselves when they
make statements that are judgmental of others. I agree that it's probably just youth of the girls
in your case and lack of social knowledge of good behavior more than anything, but
certainly you manage yourself well.

Take care; you'll be fine.

Originally Posted by AV747

Guy, girls like these boys like you, they feel sincerity. If a person is soft and vulnerable , this means that he is kind and responsive, that he is not a dummy. A generally better to avoid people who are trying to undermine your faith in yourself, this trait peculiar to bad people, unhappy, people who have no their lives.

I honestly think they're playing games with me, cause yesterday they said "We'll well be back I gotta go do something" then the girl who said I was a stalker, put her hand on my head. Then today, at dinner, I was sitting 2 seats over at the restaurant (same table, but big, seats 12) and she said "Come sit here" and then I said "What?" (Didn't hear) and she said it again, so then I said ok. When I sat down, my friend mentioned my laugh ,, so then I laughed and that girl started laughing at my laugh (which I knew would happen, tons of people do it, I'm ok with it).

The first day I acted really nice and sociable, then the second day is when I heard I was an apparent stalker, and when I heard that, I was distant towards them both (I found out toward the middle of the day). I also cancelled that Facebook request (which I actually really want to un cancel, I don't really know why tho).

[Dylanzmama]

I totally agree with AV. When you're "feminine" what does that really mean? Sensitive? Thoughtful? Young women often go for the bad boys...but when they grow up, they'll be looking for guys with your qualities.
I'm happily married to a man with many feminine traits, like having a great eye for jewelry . hang in there!

[HelloWorld18]

Originally Posted by Dylanzmama

I totally agree with AV. When you're "feminine" what does that really mean? Sensitive? Thoughtful? Young women often go for the bad boys...but when they grow up, they'll be looking for guys with your qualities.
I'm happily married to a man with many feminine traits, like having a great eye for jewelry . hang in there!

My friend asked her what type of guys she likes, and she said the bad boy type. Which I know is very common.

It's funny, because they like the bad boy type, yet many girls who are with those guys get treated like crap then complain on Facebook saying all the guys who are kind and sensitive are gay, when in reality there's guys like me who get zero attention at all.

They ask for one thing (respect, kindness, sensitivity, etc.) yet go after the exact opposite.

Edit:

The other problem with the bad boy type, is that when they get the girl pregnant, they run for the hills. So what I think is go after the bad boys, but don't be surprised when your bad boys leave you once you say the "P" (pregnant) word.

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