[Poppy Princess]

I think I'm the most depressed I've ever been today. I have zero interest in the things I used to. I've tried everything today. I tried painting, writing, and I tried running. Nothing is making me feel better. I feel so sick and sad. I feel the desire to cry hard. I just want to lay down and never get up again.

[gayleggg]

I can empathize with your feelings. Been having them a lot myself lately. Hope you feel better soon.
Gayle

[ReddSN]

I'm having the same kind of day, so I definitely sympathize.

[Starla Dear]

Notice that you had the strength to at least try to make yourself feel better. You took action. That's something.

I hope you start to feel better.

[Poppy Princess]

Wish I was dead and buried.

[rise__above]

I am having the same feelings. PM me if you want to vent. Hope you feel better soon.

[possum220]

Please read the information at the top of this forum so you can get help in real time and real life.

[Poppy Princess]

I've lost all my interests nothing helps anymore.

Okay, PoppyPrincess. What's going to be the recovery plan for you?

Are you medication resistant? Has it been confirmed by your psychiatrist?

Will your insurance cover you if you make arrangements to see an orthomolecular
physician/scientist? Their blood work is so extensive that, if you have a chemical
problem, they will likely discover it and give you relief with appropriate medications--
which can include vitamin boosts where they are needed.

Very likely you already have a drain on your system from stress. I'd do everything
possible in my power to reduce that to a minimum, if you can. Stress causes
real problems for acidic buildup in the tissues and fluids, and it makes depression
worse, just as alcohol and caffeine do for those sensitive to those two.

My husband always said, "You Don't Ever Give Up!". That was his view of almost
anything that stood in our way in life. And that is important, in my view. We don't
ever give up hope that something will come along that will prove to be the answer
for us, whether it's a new medical approach to your depression, the need for spiritual
attention for you spirit, the need for different environment--whatever it is, you may
be able to change things for your life if you are willing to make the effort.

Please try to encourage your little child within that she has hope for a much happier
and far more content life than she is experiencing right now, starting with a new
approach to diagnosis of your illness.

[Poppy Princess]

Well, I've been on two medications so far. The new one I just started so I can't tell how much it's effecting me yet.

I'm in therapy and that just don't help me. I guess I'm gonna keep trying this medication until it proves worthwhile or otherwise. I'm not sure there's much I can do until then.

My environment is fine and I don't believe in people having spirits. I suppose that leaves the medical side of things.

[herethennow]

How is therapy not helping you? Have you discussed this with your therapist? How long have you been in therapy?

Therapy's not helping me at the moment but I've only been in therapy for a short while so.. I am trying to believe that in the future it will have somesort of an effect.

There's nothing like trying something new, Poppy Princess.

You could always ask for another therapist; plenty of people find they are not compatible
with one therapist and go to another to have real success in overcoming their difficulties.

You could make an effort to expand your consciousness by reading meditative works
such as little paperbacks like "Forgiving and Moving On" (which talks about dsynfunctional families and overcoming them), "Keep It Simple", "Around the Year With Emmet Fox", "Streams in the Dessert"... they're just thousands of helpful reading materials that will engage your thought if you let it.

Engaging your thought in something positive rather than dwelling on the negative (which
creates stress for you) will help bring you out of the depression you feel now.

It takes effort, but is rewarding.

[Poppy Princess]

Therapy hasn't worked since I was a child. I just don't feel like going that route anymore.

I'll look up some of those books. I've been more positive this last week. Suddenly it just got bad again.

[Poppy Princess]

I feel worse every single day now descent into madness