i am supposed to regularly see a psychiatrist but I rarely see him cos he keeps cancelling or moving my appointment. even when I do see him, I only see him for ten mins, so don't have time to discuss things in enough detail, but he doesn't seem to take me seriously. he gave me lamotrigine mood stabiliser but it gave me memory loss and suicidal thoughts. I chose to come off it, and now the constant thoughts of stabbing myself and hanging myself have gone down, but I still feel like ive had enough of life and would rather be dead. I cant see any point to life. even when I told him, my pdoc didn't seem that interested, and just said I am bored and need some voluntary work, but I feel worse cos I keep applying and nobody replies. I just feel tired of life, and as tho its pointless. also I cannot cry. I have no emotions right now. I feel empty. I want to cry and smile but often I just cant. he seems like a sweet friendly guy, and he seems to know what drugs to give people, but I don't wana take hundreds of drugs. not sure what to do

btw I have bipolar and anxiety / panic attacks

[jadedbutterfly]

Originally Posted by cally

i am supposed to regularly see a psychiatrist but I rarely see him cos he keeps cancelling or moving my appointment. even when I do see him, I only see him for ten mins, so don't have time to discuss things in enough detail, but he doesn't seem to take me seriously. he gave me lamotrigine mood stabiliser but it gave me memory loss and suicidal thoughts. I chose to come off it, and now the constant thoughts of stabbing myself and hanging myself have gone down, but I still feel like ive had enough of life and would rather be dead. I cant see any point to life. even when I told him, my pdoc didn't seem that interested, and just said I am bored and need some voluntary work, but I feel worse cos I keep applying and nobody replies. I just feel tired of life, and as tho its pointless. also I cannot cry. I have no emotions right now. I feel empty. I want to cry and smile but often I just cant. he seems like a sweet friendly guy, and he seems to know what drugs to give people, but I don't wana take hundreds of drugs. not sure what to do

btw I have bipolar and anxiety / panic attacks

Do you have a T as well as a pdoc? When I see my pdoc the appointment rarely goes over 10 mins. But with the help of my T, I prepare for my appointment with my pdoc to make sure I cover what my symptoms are and any side effects that I am having.

no. bcos its on the nhs (im in England) im told im only allowed a pdoc once every three months, and cant have that and a counsellor. think i'll go back to my gp and ask what else is available. they def need to take things more seriously tho, it makes me worry about other people who go and attempt suicide, and then my anxiety goes wild too

[Rohag]

Hello, Cally.

Originally Posted by cally

...my pdoc didn't seem that interested, and just said I am bored...

Yours apparently is a "meds only" pdoc. As Jadedbutterfly notes, a therapist is much more likely to provide the kind of careful listening you need.

[wotchermuggle]

Unfortunately you have to be your own advocate. If you are really struggling and need to impress upon your Pdoc how bad things are, I find just being honest works with lots of expression.

Like, looking your doctor in the eye and say, "I'm really struggling with the suicidal thoughts. Can you please help me?".

[AV747]

I think that you could change your therapist. Take antidepressants and stimulants mood is cleaning a result of depression. In the very first need to remove the cause of depression, take it , take all your fears and doubts. There are a million reasons to live. Life is great. Take care of creativity, painting, photography, music - it will distract you from suicidal thoughts. Another thing you can do sport exercise, physical activity is very good help for panic attacks and depression. I checked on myself! Keep us informed of their status, maybe someone here can help you! Hug!!!!

Originally Posted by cally

i am supposed to regularly see a psychiatrist but I rarely see him cos he keeps cancelling or moving my appointment. even when I do see him, I only see him for ten mins, so don't have time to discuss things in enough detail, but he doesn't seem to take me seriously. he gave me lamotrigine mood stabiliser but it gave me memory loss and suicidal thoughts. I chose to come off it, and now the constant thoughts of stabbing myself and hanging myself have gone down, but I still feel like ive had enough of life and would rather be dead. I cant see any point to life. even when I told him, my pdoc didn't seem that interested, and just said I am bored and need some voluntary work, but I feel worse cos I keep applying and nobody replies. I just feel tired of life, and as tho its pointless. also I cannot cry. I have no emotions right now. I feel empty. I want to cry and smile but often I just cant. he seems like a sweet friendly guy, and he seems to know what drugs to give people, but I don't wana take hundreds of drugs. not sure what to do

btw I have bipolar and anxiety / panic attacks

I had this problem with my PDoc, at first he tried to deal with my seriousness but basically his job is to hand out drugs, he referred me to a therapist so that I can talk about things because he felt that it wasn't his place to work with me on certain issues. I keep postponing the Therapist as I don't know him and feel more safe with my Pdoc, don't know how it will work out.

thanks for all the replies. Therapist sounds like a great idea. I think the bad thoughts come mainly around my menstruation time as ive felt much better for the last two days. I am gonna look into the therapist idea and increase my exercise level. A friend says her dog could do with a wak twice a day