[retro_chic]

After years of being depressed most of the time I have recently noticed I am feeling better for no apparent reason. I would say this better mood has lasted maybe a month or two. I think I may have experienced something like this before but the new feelings were so uncomfortable and foreign that I might have sabotaged myself. I don't feel like myself when I'm not depressed. I haven't changed any of my treatment (meds and therapy) and there have been no sgnificant life events that could have lifted the depression. I both miss my depressive comfort zone and fear it could return. I feel strange. Has anyone else experienced this?

[retro_chic]

Ummm... Anyone?

[manymiles]

I can relate to some of what you are saying. My depression seems ever present but has recently lifted a bit though medication.

However I have had the feeling of missing the depression. It had been so much of my life that it was weird to not be their so strongly. When I'm not in bed most of the evening then I didn't know what to do with myself.

When my body didn't feel like I was walking though jello it just felt weird. Depression takes so much of our lives that without it can be a huge change. I too missed my depression as in missing the patterns of my life that I had lived for so long.

It is so very painful that I don't ever want to be as low as I have been before. It scares me a lot that it will happen again. I feel better, my pdoc says I'm still depressed but for me I'm happy about having made this bit of progress.

[Rohag]

Hmmm... Years ago a neurologist put me on stimulants alongside my antidepressant medication. The depression did not lift, but I had a few episodes when I felt semi-euphoric. It was definitely strange and unsettling. They took me off the stimulants after a couple of months.

My experience differs from yours, but the few times I was then in an unfamiliar mood state (a state they weren't aiming for) were odd and frankly unpleasant.

"Observe & report."

[shamon86]

I can definitely relate to what everyone is saying here. I have been feeling a little better lately and don't know how to act. I forgot what it felt like to not be dealing with this everyday. The last time that happened to me though I ended up crashing so bad that at the times I was the most depressed it was worse then ever before. I'm waiting to see if this streak of feeling good will come to and at some point.

[bharani1008]

Well good for you! Don't let doubt trip you up. If you think too much about it you will end up focusing back on your depression which can renew it. Turn your attention to where you want to go now. Think about that a lot.
I'm very happy for you

[retro_chic]

Thank you everyone for your replies! I know this thread sounds kind of ridiculous (who complains about NOT being depressed)?!

Anyway, my symptoms are obviously not completely gone but they are reduced so I guess I should just enjoy it for what it is and not over think it too much. I think that is what happened last time which lead to return in symptoms. I always tend to feel more anxious when I'm not depressed though... if it is not one thing its another!

[retro_chic]

Thank you everyone for your replies! I know this thread sounds kind of ridiculous (who complains about NOT being depressed)?!

Anyway, my symptoms are obviously not completely gone but they are reduced so I guess I should just enjoy it for what it is and not over think it too much. I think that is what happened last time which lead to return in symptoms. I always tend to feel more anxious when I'm not depressed though... if it is not one thing its another!

[online user]

think about this...the more your depression has lifted somewhat, the more you'll get used to the feeling and the more comfortable you will be with it--won't that be nice?

Susan

[spondiferous]

I hear ya about doubting it and not trusting it. I do the same thing when things are going well. I assume that I'm doing something wrong and that it's too easy and everything will fall apart around me. So even when it's going well it's not, if that makes sense.
Hopefully you are able to relax and enjoy your elevated mood. I love it when a depression lifts, even if only a little; such a relief.

[Blegh.]

I feel like this right now. I wish I could be depressed so I could feel some emotion. Right now I just feel bland and empty. I also don't want to be sad and crying, but I can't stand feeling so empty and numb.