[mizzy]

I believe being middle child creates an atmostphere for depression.
1st You get ignored because you cant fit in above you or below you:
So you are never sure where you want to go or what you want to be in life.

2nd You lose your identity once you try to merge to one way or the other: Soyou try to be something your not or someone you are not.

3rd You are squished in the middle too tall or too short for your age and cant be heard: So you get angry and yell or want attention or get job positions where all eyes are on you and all ears are listening to you.

4th You have low selfesteem or (jealousy) because you arent as cute as the one below you and you dont shine as bright as the one above you: You prefer to work as the secret anonymous weapon and once revealed the shock of everyone will yeild great attention.

5th You develope a mental illness and need a psych from all the stress of being a middle child: So they call you weird, different, crazy, self indulged.

All of this because i was born the middle child...
but strangely i feel loved the most
im the most independent too
Does anyone else feel this too?

[FearsomeAnna]

I believe that each birth order creates triggers for depression, whether you are first, last, or somewhere in between. For example:

I am the oldest of two children in my immediate family. I was always expected to be the go-getter, the best and the brightest and to be the most responsible (This includes thoughts of people outside the family). Therefore I felt that if I failed in either one of these areas, no matter how small this "failure" was, that I had let everyone in my family down.

My sister was the younger one. As such, she was expected to be irresponsible, to use her looks to her advantage (I can't count the times I heard people tell Barb, "come on, smile!" even if it was clear there was nothing to smile about), etc. She also heard time and time again how "brilliant" her older sister was. It's a lot to live up to (although she outclasses me in brilliance in a lot of ways). Therefore, her being responsible was overlooked and any irresponsibilty was magnified.

It took us moving out of the house when we went to college to realize that our brilliance and strengths lay in totally different arenas where we didn't have to compete. I am now a successful business executive (an area she's NEVER wanted to touch) and she's a brilliant scholar (I never wanted to be permanently in academia). It is up to the person to develop their own special niche or interests that they feel makes them stand out in some way, shape, or form. This could be sports, academics, volunteer work, etc. Just because you're the middle child doesn't mean you're doomed to be a boring failure that has to follow ANYBODY's footsteps.

some of it's magic
some of it's tragic
but i had a good life all the way......
~jimmy buffett

[Chippie]

I think which kid you were matters a whole lot. I am the youngest of two, and I know I always had this frustration because I would be give the responsibilities of my older brother yet expected to act as someone much younger than I am. I even had my grandparents forget my name, age, and even the fact I'd be in the room. I don't know maybe I am just the whiny youngest

[Audrey]

I think it depends upon your family. I'm the youngest of three, and It seems like the middle child got lots of attention in my family. It's like my mother deliberatly made the consious effort to make sure he didn't feel ignored, and my oldest brother always needed help in school so she was there for him. But when it came to me i was forced to fend for myself, i had to figure out all of my homework out for myself, which wasn't really a problem for me, but it would have been nice if I was remembered once in a while as well. As far as the fitting in thing goes, i never cared about that. I just always figured that my parents birthed me and they didn't give me up, so i just assusmed that i was someone special. Although, my middle brother did acheive to become valavictorian in high school, and as soon as he got out he joined the military, so he was the first child to move out... so he must have been feeling the i want to stick out thing somewhere.

[Abby]

I too think that whether you're a middle child, the eldest or the youngest makes a massive difference to how you are treated and thus your self-esteem. As a middle child myself, i can totally relate to your 5 reasons, and my parents are good parents! I'm the 3rd of 4 girls which just adds to the competition. My oldest sister has always been the brilliant one in our family so alot is expected from her and given to her, as in time and effort. My little sister at the same time seems to receive attention simply because she is the last to do things, so its always a momentous occasion (all teary etc). Even my parents admit that me and my other middle sister were sometimes overlooked because of this, which has made me very jelous sometimes and alittle worried too.
But yes, like you at the sametime i'm glad i'm a middle child, i feel that being a middle child forces you to be considerate of the people around you, plus i feel i'm able to understand alot more about life because of the experiences my sisters have been through, but also get the chance to be the wise one and advise my little sis too. So there are positives and negatives.
Although attention and time is shared and you can't go on as many outing as most other families, i think this is made up for by the amount of support you have behind you and in front of you!