[EmilysZoo]

My mind is all over the place right now. I've been almost obsessively ( at least a few times a day) reading threads on PC--all different categories--posting a couple of times. I'm not sure what I'm looking for. Is this unhealthy? Should I stop?

I'm overwhelmed by all the experiences people post about therapy. Having never been, I think I'm trying to grasp what it's all about since I can't get myself to go (yup, posted about that). Am I just trying to live through other's stories?

People's relationship issues are fascinating to me. So many things I can relate to; so many things that are confusing or beyond my comprehension. I have figured out so many things but at the same time am desperately missing something in my own relationships. Is it helping me to read so much?

I want to post more things; more questions I have, but there is too much to say and too many conflicting emotions. Some days are good, some are bad. If I post when I'm bad, then it would look silly when I post something good.

I am feeling sad but am trying my best to do something about it. I went out with friends last night because that's what I'm supposed to do. I would have preferred to stay home. It was enjoyable, but I felt like I had to try hard to be social.

I'm setting up times to exercise with other people because I know that should be good. I don't want to go, but I will.

I'm leaving on vacation soon and the panic has now set in. No laundry done, not done with planning. I don't want to go and would rather stay home. But I'll go because it should be good for me.

So, the rambling me asks if I should get off the computer, stop reading threads, get on with life? Maybe the thread reading is not allowing me to focus on my real life.

Ugh! This makes no sense but I'll post and leave it at that.

[gayleggg]

Hi Emily. Some of the posts can be overwhelming. I read a lot too and some I can't handle and some I can't relate to. I stay on here too much to sometimes so I know what you mean. Sounds like you are doing a lot of things to get you out of the house and around other people which is good for depression. I think you need to put in a little more effort toward your vacation. That might mean spending less time on PC. If you find you are being overwhelmed by some of the post maybe you should spend less time reading posts. Also, start to learn what types trigger you and avoid those.
And there is nothing wrong with posting happy sometimes even if you are depressed. We all have good days sometimes.
Gayle

[ocdanddealing]

Hi Emily,
That happens to a lot of us. Another habit is you will start to self diagnose yourself and take bits and pieces of what others say and start to think you have that as well.
Also, there are actually a couple blogs that actually trigger my ocd when I read them. So , i tend to avoid certain ones. You by far are not alone with this feeling.

[shortandcute]

I go on here alot.

[avlady]

I know what you mean, i get obsessed with this site, but i love it. i find things here i can relate to and have learned alot through others posts, i don't know why but i just love it. I want to be able to feel a sence of purpouse here too. My mother actually told me to not use this site as i just happened to have a hospital stay she claims was caused by this site, but that wasn't really the case, i know myself enough to say that. She is controlling sometimes, so i realize that and just think that is why she made me promise i wouldn't go here anymore, as you can see i didn't take her advise. I just love it here and shouldn't have to take away something i love.

[Fuzzybear]

...........

[EmilysZoo]

Thanks all for the support! At least it seems like I'm not alone. Yes, I will try to be more careful about the things I read and will get off the computer as soon as I am done with this reply.

The laundry is going and I'm getting some work things done. Not much, but it's a start.

[online user]

I'm maintained really well on my meds and feeling quite normal and healthy now, but I still have days when I'm overwhelmed by the sadness in some of our fellow members' lives. Those days, I stop reading or just read the drugs forum to see if there is anything new or stop in the social groups to which I belong or read some of the articles you can find from the home page.

When I'm feeling good, I do come and read some of the posts and answer if I can feel helpful or maybe no one else has yet. I remember when I was really down and posting about my situation helped me.

[Nobodyandnothing]

Hi EmilysZoo,
I find that PC helps me alot because it makes me realize that I am not alone. I don't read all the posts but look at certain sections then scroll through the new posts and chose which to read. I will admit that I always read what certain posters write because I find them incredibly insightful.

I also admit that on bad days (which seem to outnumber the good ones), I am pretty obsessive about checking PC every hpur or two looking for sometging to keep me going.

Good luck.

I think it probably isn't healthy. To cut down on the temptation you can block forums that don't relate to your issues. You can also click on "new posts" on the main forum page.

[bharani1008]

I'm so glad you brought up the issue about posting about times when we are the opposite than we normally are. Yesterday I had a very bad day with full blown paranoia and sense of rejection. I didn't post because I felt like such a fraud. How could I encourage others when I couldn't take my own advice. I felt so shameful. I couldn't figure out if it was OK for me to post feeling badly or not. I also felt estranged and alone.
I just feel more companionable here on this site than other places. I don't know if you can spend too much time on it or not. If all you're going to do is lay in bed than maybe it's OK to be here instead.

[Dubbs47]

I burned myself out on Facebook. This seems to be my new Facebook , but I don't get on here much. Don't have time to get too involved.