[Grey Matter]

I don't fit in with anyone, anywhere, or anything. I am a reject even among the mentally ill. I've been attacked all day by people telling me that I am not really sick. That I make a mockery of the "truly" mentally ill. My friends even tell me how I should respect the people who put me down. See it how they do. I refuse to, because I am not blindly hateful.

I am terrible. I shouldn't care that I am nearly 23 and nearly friendless. But alas. Pathetic will be pathetic.

[Samanthagreene]

I'm sorry you feel like this. I hope people here accept you, and I certainly find all your stories and posts helpful. I don't think you're pathetic, and I'm sure a lot of people here don't think you are, either.

I've read several of your posts - you seem like a nice person!

[bharani1008]

I have never experienced it but I've been informed that there are "trolls" on this site who bully genuine posters. I am told that you can spot them by the hurtful content of their posts. Let me assure you that the genuine suffers will NEVER be cruel. If you experience things otherwise then contact the site monitors and report them. They will be removed from the site. That doesn't completely take care of things because the bad people just sign in using another name but you can be aware of these people and ignore any negative response to your posts.
I feel for you feeling that you don't fit anywhere. It's a horrible feeling. I wonder if you've joined any of the social clubs here or have gone on any of the chats. Both places make you feel welcome and part of a nice community.
I hope you feel better soon.

[online user]

What others say is a reflection on THEM, not you. If they disparge, they are not nice people--it has nothing to do with the person you are. Don't let yourself be defined by their opinion of you.

I look forward to reading your posts, to see how you are doing. I always hope you are having a good day or, at least, a better day.

[manwithnofriends]

It's weird... society doesn't seem to like difference, but difference is what makes this world a better place isn't it? If society had its way then there'd be NO: Plato, Aristotle, Da Vinci, Copernicus, Galileo, Newton, Einstein et al.

[Dubbs47]

I feel the same as you that I don't belong anywhere. But we're here, right? We're here so we do belong somewhere.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

I've been attacked all day by people telling me that I am not really sick. That I make a mockery of the "truly" mentally ill.

The people telling you this are full of %$#@. Just because you aren't seeing flying manatees and want to kill everyone who ever insulted John
Travolta's dog doesn't mean you don't have a mental illness.

Depression is subtle and vicious. It often works without outward signs, devouring its victim from within.

As others have said, you do fit in. There are plenty of people just like you and plenty of people that are willing to understand. Maybe you haven't found them yet, but they're there.

Originally Posted by Teen Idle

I don't fit in with anyone, anywhere, or anything. I am a reject even among the mentally ill.

I often feel this also, quite keenly. It doesn't seem to matter much where along the spectrum of sanity I happen to be at any given time, and the same could be said for the company I might keep.

I tend to feel extraordinarily alone,different, separate. At times even distinct from those I am intimately close with. Sometimes the feeling can be really intense and sudden.

I do think part of it is simply the nature of my particular mental milk shake, how things play out can make trust and closeness difficult.

I don't know why my perspective has changed- I used to really think in terms of me being a reject or a loser- now... It's more like im from a different jigsaw puzzle. Which sounds kind of cheesey. And it still makes me sad, yeah.

But when I'm feeling ok, like not unbalanced,so to speak?
I do actually think I'm pretty awesome. There is a space between me and most other people,but I feel like maybe I need to reserve energy for intimate relationships with a very few people who have been hard to find- "diamonds in the rough" (Ha. Aladdin.).
And,really?

My early twenties kinda sucked.I hate to pull that age crap on you, I'm not actually that much older. But 5 or 7 years can make a difference in how you settle into yourself, how you find those few special people you make connections with, and understanding what kind of relationships can be beneficial and how to cultivate those.

Pathetic will be pathetic.

I suppose... on the occasions that it actually is.
I don't see that here though.

-Josie

[Grey Matter]

Thank you all, really. I will post more when I get back from my doctors app; but seeing and reading this all has made me feel a lot better. Thank you.