[jitters]

Maybe it's a crazy request, but I am trying very hard to find the motivation to take care of myself, and every time I get closer to tapping into that inner reserve of strength, my crazy family (that I have no choice but to deal with on an ongoing basis) finds a way to sabotage my efforts. Criticism, condescension, indifference, judgement, and on and on. I not only don't have any source of emotional support, I'm constantly besieged by the slings and arrows of familial dysfunction. I am made to feel insignificant, burdensome, pathetic, irresponsible, inadequate, unlovable... Basically, like s***. And it occurred to me that I would practically sell my soul to hear something positive, something nice. I would give my right arm (Ok, maybe not the arm, I need that for typing, but definitely a leg; I'm Ok with giving up either one) to feel like someone somewhere has had a pleasant thought about me.

I'm kind of...I don't know...neuroatypical?...in a way that makes it extraordinarily difficult for me to connect with people. Or at least to sustain that connection. I have a terrible time making friends; I have a terrible time making conversation (which is kind of a necessary precursor to making friends). So I don't have any. Friends, that is.

It feels like a tall request, I know you don't know anything about me, but I could really use some encouraging words right now.

[MaryJayne47]

Hey there... I'm so sorry that your family is being so critical at a time where you obviously need someone on your side. Its hard not to value what they say. Its great to hear that you're tapping into that "inner reserve of strength". Even if youve been held back by the things your family does and say, at least you know where you want to get to...and thats a goal! That's one more goal then i have I'm glad that you're here talking about it as well. My advice is to do what is right for you. Try not to let them "burst your bubble"...because when it comes down to it, it sounds like you're better then them

Please take care

[Fuzzybear]

I'm feeling like **** too so don't have many words, but it sounds like you're much better than your family. Hope you stick around on pc, many here care
and many have been wounded in similar ways... Including me

[Wren_]

hi jitters, it doesn't sound like a crazy request to me at all I can relate to that need for nice words ... it is so difficult when there are critical words and condescension coming from every direction. Right now, I may not know you ... but I think you are doing a great job in reaching out and expressing what you are going through; and hope that you will find people both here and also offline that will give you some of those encouraging words which you both need, and should have - you should be affirmed and encouraged. You are significant, adequate and loveable; all of which can be hard to believe if you aren't used to being told these or experiencing the reality of them in practice, but their absence doesn't make it any less true

[gayleggg]

So sorry you have to go through such mental abuse. I'm glad you were able to come to PC and ask for what you need. You sound like a nice person caught in a bad situation. Take care of yourself and stay firm in your mind that you are not the things they say you are. You don't have to stoop to their level. Wishing you well.
gayle

[avlady]

Jitters Welcome!!!!!!!!!!

[online user]

When I was working (retired now) I used to get motivational tapes and listen to them driving back and forth to work. One was, "Take Care of Yourself, for You". It had me say that to myself. Also suggested this trick: Take two fingers, plant a big wet kiss on them, then wipe them gently on your cheek. Once you've given yourself a kiss like this, you have to feel better about yourself, and want to take care of yourself more. Try it--it does work. and don't forget to tell yourself, "Take care of yourself, for you."

Hope this helps.

[Rohag]

Hello, Jitters! Glad to see you post.

From your profile page: [cat photo from icanhascheezburger.com] *sigh* Ai tole my ferapist ai wuz habbin a hard tyme findin' myself -
- he aksed me if ai tryed 'google'....

From above:

Originally Posted by jitters

I would give my right arm (Ok, maybe not the arm, I need that for typing, but definitely a leg; I'm Ok with giving up either one) to feel like someone somewhere has had a pleasant thought about me.

All you live with, and still have a sense of humor...
Jitters!