[Nat92]

Hi all.

Over the summer I seemed to do okay, I spoke to my doctor in May but she just dismissively told me to talk to my friends and family, which I can't. I don't have any friends and I'm not lying. I can't talk to my parents, they don't understand and they won't listen, they just think I'm being lazy and causing trouble.

My parents were raised with the "use what you have"- mentality. They didn't have much and built their own lives, their own future. My mom especially won't understand and she doesn't want to hear it. For 7 years, I've tried to make it perfectly clear that something was wrong. As if sitting in my room all day and not having a single friend to turn to wasn't sign enough.

Anyways, as I said. I felt better during the summer, the sun and actually pushing myself through the door helped a bit, but it solved nothing, it changed nothing. It was a moment of relief, that's all it was.

I still feel like a failure, I still hate myself with burning fire and I still have those terrible thoughts and it's getting worse, I'm hearing things and I feel paranoid. I can't sleep and I really want to do those bad things, it's just so messed up.

I know I need help, but there's a huge problem blocking the highway. If I talk to my doctor again, she'll ask if I've had those "thoughts" and the answer is yes, and she'll want to hospitalize me and I know I need it. I so deeply wish to get away from home, because I'd be in a place with equally minded people. I'd get help - BUT - my parents would know. All hell would break loose and I fear the result.

I was supposed to start in school, but because of a major eczema break out, I skipped and now a month later I got kicked out and now I have to pay all the school support money I got back. And my mom doesn't know.

As if things couldn't get worse.

It's an evil circle and it's been repeating itsself for 7 years. I'm the black sheep, the bad daughter and my mom can't deal with me anymore.

If she found out that it's been going on for so long, it'll break her heart.

Could I get medication without her finding out? I just need help, but I don't know what to do. I spent the entire night just crying my eyes out and I'm so lost.

Sorry for the long post, but does anyone have any advice? Telling my parents is out of the question, they won't believe it and if they do, they'll throw me out.

My advice........... You are clearly stressed beyond words. If it were me, one thing that greatly added to my stress level was being dishonest or *keeping* information from others.

I have gone to TOTAL honesty over the last couple years and it has helped a lot.

So - I advise you to tell your counselor and get help.

Then AFTER you have gotten help, then deal with your parents. And I would be very surprised if they did not simply love you more. I know you "feel" like they would be upset - but NOTHING is more upsetting to a parent than the thought of losing a child.

That is my advise. It is your decision.

[Nat92]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

My advice........... You are clearly stressed beyond words. If it were me, one thing that greatly added to my stress level was being dishonest or *keeping* information from others.

I have gone to TOTAL honesty over the last couple years and it has helped a lot.

So - I advise you to tell your counselor and get help.

Then AFTER you have gotten help, then deal with your parents. And I would be very surprised if they did not simply love you more. I know you "feel" like they would be upset - but NOTHING is more upsetting to a parent than the thought of losing a child.

That is my advise. It is your decision.

Thank you for your advise, I really really appreciate it. I seriously wish I could be honest with my parents, but we don't connect. My mom doesn't want to hear about it if I had a bad day etc, I just can't talk with her. I want her to understand, but she can't. It's like teaching a kiwi to fly, it can't.

But again, tank you so much.

[Clara22]

Dear Nat92
Fear is our enemy, what is the worst scenario related to your parents knowing? Do not forget this is your life, not theirs
Hugs

Originally Posted by Clara22

Dear Nat92
Fear is our enemy, what is the worst scenario related to your parents knowing? Do not forget this is your life, not theirs
Hugs

VERY well said.

[Nat92]

Originally Posted by Clara22

Dear Nat92
Fear is our enemy, what is the worst scenario related to your parents knowing? Do not forget this is your life, not theirs
Hugs

I've tried to explain my situation and tried very hard to make it clear that something was wrong. As if not having any friends isn't sign enough - however, I know from experience that they will not take this well.

My mom cannot handle things like this, I fear that she would disown me and no longer speak to me.

My mom isn't good at dealing with problems. I'm the black sheep of this family and what she doesn't hear, she doesn't want to hear.

[Rohag]

Hello, Nat92!

Originally Posted by Nat92

Could I get medication without her finding out?

I do not know the laws in Denmark. Were you an adult in the U.S., medical privacy laws would almost certainly prevent your parents from learning about your medications.

I practice a strict "need to know" policy regarding revealing my illnesses to anyone.

[June55]

What if you talked to a counselor and then have meeting with your parents and the counselor as well?

People have glasses to help them see.

People need medications to help them be happy.

You do need to find a way to get the help you need. Even if your mom won't help you. But she might just be afriad too. Or doesn't know how to help.