[alone and sad]

I don't know what to do. I am miserable every minute of every day and have been for as long as I can remember. I am 26 and have been isolating myself for 10 years. I have a serious eating disorder I've been dealing with for 14 years. I have no family and cannot make friends b/c when I'm not working all I want/ am able to do is my eating disorder. On my days off I just sleep all day and all night- I don't have the desire or energy to do anything else. I have been on every medication known to man- nothing has helped. I have been in therapy for as long as I can remember and have been in treatment programs for my eating disorder. Now I am out of money to get any more professional help. I have no idea what to do. I am in a vicious cycle of loneliness, depression, addiction, and self hatred. I have no more ideas on what to do and am honestly ready to give up. I think some people just aren't meant to be happy. Life is not fair and I just have to accept it. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions I'd love to hear it. Please don't just say "keep trying, never give up hope". That would have helped me 13 years ago but at this point that is no where near enough.

So sorry you are feeling this way.

I am also sorry to hear of your struggles..... how CAN we help??

[winter4me]

Is there One thing you could get yourself to DO when not working? You may need to do it upon leaving work, before going home, or before, depending on your work schedule. Something like, take a walk (choose a route just one mile round, or a destination to "get" something non-food, collect stones, pick flowers in season, take a train or bus ride...anything), ride a bike, go to the library and peruse, depending on location, sit by water, look at art, visit a zoo or walk an animal from a shelter.......Anything at all... You need some small thing to break the cycle---
some small, other interest...at first, just some, small, other commitment. You can do it because you do go to work...you are able to get up---....and if one thing doesn't work, do another---keep it small and doable so that even if it causes distress at first, you can see the end of it each time----------take a hobby class (something short like making something in one or two sessions...) maybe use the local paper to choose one thing a week to go to or even participate in even if your head tells you how stupid, worthless, anxiety-provoking it is...
Sometimes therapy can mire us in our problems...
What sort of work do you do?

[alone and sad]

thanks winter 4 me. that is good advice. I've thought of doing that before but always backed out last minute. I am a caregiver- troubled youth, seniors, or kids.

[Sadley]

Hi alone and sad, I just want to say I'm struggling with the same issues as you. I'm 23 years old (male). I too isolate myself, I don't even want to be seen by anyone. I have an eating disorder - I binge, I can't make any friends either, and I've also been on all kinds of meds. Basically everything you said describes me except the not having family part. What winter4me said was pretty good advice. I plan to go on daily walks with my brother in the mornings. That's about as far as I've gotten, though. I'm absolutely terrified of trying much of anything, especially anything that requires being social.

[winter4me]

I am now able to walk to and from work and this really helps. I also struggle with these issues...I try to do one thing a week at least that I am hesitant to do---went to a museum exhibit last week and walked around town---went to an open mic music before that (I used to do that once a week)---take my camera out and roam around (the camera just makes me feel as if I have a "purpose", and I do love to look at things, and it seems to give me a kind of permission to be wherever I am)...money is low so I am not travelling now but that really helps (someplace unknown by/of me)---collected some cool bottles and stuff along the river by old factories...
Lucky for me, I have a grandson I see every week or two and I take him to the playground or downtown ---- all I have to do is watch and follow his 19mo. old lead...
But, I still spend a lot of time alone trying to take my own advice; we will all get "there"...won't we? I do have to force myself but once I am going, it is usually good, if not, well, it doesn't really matter whether I feel bad there or here on the couch. And I know it is better to do than not...(keep saying it...)

[Fuzzybear]