Huh...

I remember about January I was feeling really depressed. Not knowing at the time that my depression had gotten so bad, I just started crying and sobbed for hours. I remember thinking that this good cry helped me. I feel like if I had sought therapy then, my depression wouldn't have gotten so far. I've suffered for years but only now I'm really focused on getting well. I believe it will come because I can see the light, just barely, but through this forum, meds, and therapy I know it's there. Good luck. Hugs to you.

I eventually quit my job due to my depression. Didn't know it at the time. I always thought that people were mean to me. I took everything personally. That was 6 years ago. Depression is a serious illness. God I wish I didn't have it. I look back and think how stupid I must have been, my co-workers didn't do anything personal but at the time it really hurt. I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there.

Thank you ((((((((krea))))))))

((( canders ))) hang in there it will get better

Sorry I keep forgetting about my posts!

((((((((arod)))))))))) thank you!

**might trigger so please be careful**

**triggerish**

I dislike my family.

I mean I do care about them when they're not being mean to me and generally making me feel absolutely worthless ... but still.

I was told yesterday by my mother when I told her I was not finding my job easy and it was making me upset that ...

I am apparently not ALLOWED to quit my job.

This was an order of sorts. Why do they do this to me? Am I the only one who gets hurt by being bossed around and yelled at and generally made to feel completely worthless?

Am I the only one with feelings in my family? Sure I may not get angry - angry usually really bad and not to be expressed in my family - but I do get sad. All the time when I'm around them.

I know, I know. Its my life, and my decision if I want to keep this job or not, right?

But it isn't. Its not my decision because its not my life because if I made a "bad" decision then I'll never hear the end of it. I want out of this. I want to think individually for myself ...

But I won't. Because chances are that they're right ... I am worthless, hopeless, useless, unmotivated, disabled and never ever going to make anything of myself.

I told my friend what my mother had told me - her order for me to not quit my job. He said she sounded abusive. I didn't want to admit it. My other friend - the special one who had to leave for 10 months - he told me the same thing. He made me buy a book about emotional abuse. I cried through it. I can't help it. I don't want to admit it.

And this not the best way for me to not wind up more depressed. I am stuck being like this forever, aren't I?

thats ok we all do that every once in awhile