Blah

i feel like i am spyroling down further every day. I now feel like my friends are just my friends because i have money and i am being used. I know it is not the case. I also feel that the rest of the world is collaborating to get me some way. Everyone that was my friend now hates me and those who are still my friend i feel used. I have only told a select few what is truly going on with me mentally (no one here) and when i do i usually get a cold shoulder like there is something wrong with me. So i just keep my happy mask on for the rest of the world to see so know one really knows what is going on inside me. i am eating my self from the inside out because i don't trust people. not even my therapist.

I know what you mean about the happy face...sometimes people shy away because they do not know how to help us ! Hope things get better for you soon!!

so do i, i fight thaughts everyday. know one knows how bad i want to do things every time i think about it bit i force my self not to act apon them and i get past it for the moment. then a few min go by and the thaughts are back

i now figured out i am just being used by my friends, they only come around whin i get payed and hang out for 2 days then whin i am broke they are gone. they are not frinds anymore. i am back to being alone in the world.

((((((((( alf )))))))))))

Well, you were alone even when they were there mooching off ya! Now you will have more money to do the things you want to!