[shamon86]

So everyone says that your depression get worse before they get better. I still haven't found the "better" part yet. I honestly feel like I was better off before I started going to therapy and taking meds. Yeah I had my moments where I curled up in a ball because the pain was too much... I don't remember how frequent that happened though. I didn't (and still don't) like to go out and talk with friends or anything. I had (again still have) no motivation to do anything. I remember my dad asked me one time to clean up my room and broke down crying telling him not to remind me of that. But that was before I started therapy etc. Maybe I was ignoring the "issues" that I had before. Now it's all staring at me and saying do something about it but I don't have the energy. I was doing better this morning (besides being completley out of my mind thinking I had to be at work @ 10 but didn't get in until 11). But at this moment I just want to go home and go to bed. I feel so bad right now. I'm lost. I want to curl up and make the pain go away. I just started a higher dose of lamictal and I felt fine before but why do I feel so bad now.

I know how you feel. This has been a long ongoing process for me. I have my good times, but when I crash I crash badly. And it feels like I have got nowhere! But when I think about it properly, in a rational mindset I tell myself the good times last longer than they used to, but the bad times are still really difficult to handle.

Are you only taking the lamictal? I take that too but I also have an antidepressant too to take with it.

[shamon86]

I take lamictal and cymbalta. I've gone through a couple od different meds, wellbutrin, Lexapro. I started off with just the cymbalta but after I while it stopped working. I had a rough time on lexapro and became suicidal at one point. Wellbutrin just made me dizzy and weak. I'm now a couple days in on lamictal and cymbalta together. The cymbalta was only put in the mix to help with my anxiety. I still have no energy to do anything and definitely had a hard time yesterday where the depression hurt so bad I just wanted to curl up and go to sleep. The ups and downs are killing me. I'll get to a place where I'll be ok, but when I go down it seems like I'll never find a way out. To the past couple weeks I just haven't cared about anything. My job, my finances, if I live or die.

Sorry long answer to a short question. I have a lot on mind...

I understand everything you have said and feel much the same I've been on several different meds too and still trying to find the mix that helps. My current one while it helped for a while seems to have stopped now. I am struggling with similar lows and the same apathy towards everything. It's hard to see a point when things are this bad I guess.

But it won't always be like this. Thats what we have to tell ourselves otherwise it is just too overwhelming. Things can and will get better, it just takes time. And meds take time to help fully, sometimes up to 6 weeks I think so give the cymbalta a chance.

But keep a close eye on the side effects, I know some people where it has made them pretty suicidal. I'm not saying this will happen to you, but I just wanted to make you aware. I took it for a while and didn't have that problem.

I hope things begin to pick up for you soon

[gracez]

Hi Shamon86,

I can't believe any of these cliches. But I'm sure they apply to some people. It's ok if something someone says doesn't feel right or apply to you. Just because someone says it doesn't mean its valid for you.

I also don't relate to this. I wish it were true because then I would've felt better a long time ago! I've been in rock bottom for months, it hasn't gotten better.

Hugs

Gracez