[omofca]

Why did I feel a sudden jolt of severe anxiety? I think I had a panic attack and it's depressed me. I want to hide or die right now.

I hate people and I'm filled with anger because of their hypocrisy, foolishness and vanity. Why are people so stupid? They're so ignorant. They only listen to the confident. They ignore the meek. They're so easy to manipulate. They listen to emotions instead of reason. They're selfish too. I didn't choose to be with them. I hate them. And they hate me. Or at the very least, they dread me.

I hate myself too. I can't control my emotions and it makes me feel like dying. I'm socially anxious, emotionally unstable and cognitively deficient. I'm above average intelligence according to an IQ test, but I hate being controlled by my feelings. It's got me wondering, why am I alive? I want to die. I can't even cry. I just have this unexplainable anguish. I'm my own worst enemy.

I can't handle the stress of my life. It's pointless. I want to hide from society in a log cabin in the woods and forget about conformity. Forget about the lies, drama, bureaucracy, corporatism, war, etc...

There's no way for me to face my insecurity. There's no way I'll be in peace and be alive. If I ever will, then it will be fleeting. This feeling however, stays like an unending blizzard. No light in sight, but trite nights locked inside. My life is a nightmare.

[Patagonia]

Something bad must've happened to you to set you off & to have such a terrible attack. Do you know what it is? Do you wanto share?
Please stay safe today. Maybe get some rest & come back to this mess. It might look different in a different light.
Peace,
P

[Rohag]

Omofca, did any physical symptoms accompany the jolt of severe anxiety?

[omofca]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Omofca, did any physical symptoms accompany the jolt of severe anxiety?

Yes, my face was hot, my heart was racing, my breathing was shallow and I felt dizzy.

Originally Posted by Patagonia

Something bad must've happened to you to set you off & to have such a terrible attack. Do you know what it is? Do you want to share? Please stay safe today. Maybe get some rest & come back to this mess. It might look different in a different light.
Peace,
P

I don't know. I guess maybe social isolation and misanthropy. I'm in a bad mindset and it's like quicksand; I can't get out of it and I'm sinking deeper into it. I feel like I need to be in a mental hospital, but they're so exclusive and I'm so helpless. I hate my home and my city. I hate being stuck here and I want to die. I hate myself too. I'm so needy and people don't care. People don't like me because I'm awkward and negative, but I hate them too because they're ignorant and selfish.

[Rohag]

I can't diagnose, but what you describe easily could have been a panic attack. Considering you are additionally suffering from depression, I suspect you will need assistance in progressing from where you are.

California 2-1-1 2-1-1 is not for emergencies; they may be able to direct you to resources available to you.

Please keep posting, Omofca.

[omofca]

Originally Posted by Rohag

I can't diagnose, but what you describe easily could have been a panic attack. Considering you are additionally suffering from depression, I suspect you will need assistance in progressing from where you are.

California 2-1-1 2-1-1 is not for emergencies; they may be able to direct you to resources available to you.

Please keep posting, Omofca.

That sounds like what it was. I think I have panic disorder.

Thanks. And call me Oscar.

[omofca]

I don't hate people. I'm just angry because I'm pathetic

[Fuzzybear]