[Train Wreck]

Hello to everyone. Deep depression and only sinking deeper. I guess its really been in my life forever but over the past few years it is getting worse. If it wasn't for my special needs son I would not deal with this crap anymore. I'm not suicidal but impatiently waiting for the end. For twenty plus years doctors,therapists,hospitals,meds,nothing has helped much. Diagnosed as bipolar,more like manic depressive. The harder I work at it the harder I fall. I've had maybe 50 jobs in the past 10 years,and can't keep a job for long. Health insurance is not available most of the time. Had ssi when I was younger but they said I made to much money one year and cut it off. I've applied for help everywhere and been denied because I made just over the limit for public assistance. Everywhere where I have turned for help I have just been turned away. Please help stop this madness. I have no more will to fight it,or do anything for that matter. I can find the strength to take care of my son but it is fading fast. Please help.

[gayleggg]

Hi, Train Wreck. Welcome to Psych Central. I understand that feeling of sinking so far that I didn't care if I woke up in the mornings. In fact, I'm at that point now. I keep hoping the next medication they try out on me will work. I don't have insurance either so I understand about struggling with money issues. Thank goodness you have your son to keep you going. I have faith that you will continue to find the strength if only to take care of him.

[JanuaryGirl]

I don't have any advice for you, but I am sending you the biggest internet hugs right now.

^^^ Agrees with JanuaryGirl. So multiple big i-Hugs being sent to you.

[Train Wreck]

Thanks for your reply Gayle. I just have nothing left in the tank so to speak. About to loose everything in my world,house,car,phone,everything and if I loose them I'll loose my son. Everybody says "pull up your bootstraps and move on",but I have lost any will( or anything else) to fight on. I feel like I have to do something drastic to get help or at least get noticed,and help. The farther I dig out of this the farther the fall when it all comes crashing down. The harder I fight it the more I loose. This has been happening for a long time and I just want the madness to end.