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#1
Oct 15, 2006, 07:16 PM
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I have always been hiding my illness from people...my unhappiness...as I am sure many of you are...It has gotten to the point now where I cannot smile and pretend anymore! Why is it so much easier to root for and give support to other people on here than to ask for help myself? I hate talking about me and my problems...I only ask that you send some good vibes my way to help get me out of this funk I am in today! I am so sad that I just don't want to go on...Please if someone can say something to help me...
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#2
Oct 15, 2006, 07:18 PM
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I don't know what to say except, I understand. Sending any good vibes I have your way. And, lot of hugs.
((((((((Bethsway))))))))))
__________________
 complic8d"Don't say I'm out of touch with this rampant chaos-your reality I know well what lies beyond my secret refuge The nightmare I built my own world to escape." ♥evanescence♥
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#3
Oct 15, 2006, 07:23 PM
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Oh, hon.... from the words in your posts... I can see that you're a very caring person. Let us care about you now! One for all, all for one!
PM me any time, ok?! (((((((((((((((((( Bethsway ))))))))))))))) 
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#4
Oct 15, 2006, 07:34 PM
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((((((((((((( Bethsway )))))))))))))))
Please hang in there hon. I know the pain you are talking about. PM me any time at all. Love, Fuzzy 
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#5
Oct 15, 2006, 07:44 PM
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__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#6
Oct 15, 2006, 09:42 PM
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complic8d, poetrylover, fuzzybear, perna...thank you all so much for your support...I truly needed it right now!! and sending love right back to you!!!
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#7
Oct 15, 2006, 09:43 PM
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((((((((((Bethsway)))))))))
im so sorry you are having troubles. We are here for you. Actually reaching out for help is progress even though it feels scary. PM me if you ever need to talk. |
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#8
Oct 15, 2006, 09:47 PM
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Yes it is very scarey to admit you need help...thank you estherevirtue for your support and knowledge...I guess I am making a little progress!
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#9
Oct 15, 2006, 09:50 PM
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__________________
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#10
Oct 15, 2006, 09:50 PM
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thank you again fuzzybear...you are so kind!!!
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#11
Oct 15, 2006, 09:55 PM
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((((goodvibes))))
Please remember that you don't want to end life, only the life as you know it. You can change your life. It might take time, but things won't always be so dark and desperate as they feel now. Try to distract yourself from thinking about this now. Watch tv (stare at it and block bad thoughts at least.) Get into posting to others, even if it's only a smiley. Make sure you get ready for bed, and go to bed when you should, don't mull around thinking about how bad you feel. Tomorrow, tell someone honestly how bad you are feeling...ask them to help you get through the day. If you really feel desperate, call for help from the authorities. I know many ppl fear doing that, but what will they do to you that you aren't already feeling? Nothing. They will take care of you and get you to someplace safe where you won't have to think about being unsafe. Take care of you. Sorry days are so dark for you now.
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#12
Oct 15, 2006, 10:11 PM
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Thank you sky...actually after the kind words from everybody here I am feeling a little better already...Yesterday was my mom's birthday and she passed away in April...I think this really got me down...but I baked her a cake anyway and celebrated her life...today it just hit me again...thank you for your support....everybody!!
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#13
Oct 15, 2006, 11:34 PM
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(((((((((((( bethsway )))))))))))))))))
I so hear you. It's hard to ask for help sometimes (for me) because it makes me feel even more vulnerable it feels. Also, I think saying it out loud (or typing it) makes it more "real" for me. Could one of those, or both, apply? Regardless of the reason, I understand. You're not alone...not by a long shot. Keep talking... KD
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#14
Oct 15, 2006, 11:57 PM
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((((((Bethsway)))))) Lori |
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#15
Oct 16, 2006, 12:14 AM
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(((( bethsway )))) sending good vibes your way hopefully some of my happiness right can rub off
__________________
Don't give up It's just the hurt that you hide When you're lost inside I'll...I'll be there to find you Don't give up Because you want to burn bright If darkness blinds you I will shine to guide you Everybody wants to be understood |
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#16
Oct 16, 2006, 04:41 AM
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Kimmydawn you hit the nail right on the head...talking about it makes you more vulnerable and does make it more real...but I guess that is what I have to do in order to start healing....thank you!
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#17
Oct 16, 2006, 04:44 AM
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thank you arod for being there....and sending your happiness to me...!!
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#18
Oct 16, 2006, 12:19 PM
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Hi sweetie I am so sorry I never noticed yesterday. I popped in and out again a few times. It is hard and it is stressful. I don't hide it anymore. I don't shout from the rooftop but hey some people have chicken pox, I have a mental illness.People fear what they don't know. When they realize we are just people trying to live maybe they'll get it. The people I trust know and my family who can really hurt me sometimes from ignorance but thats their problem and they are finnaly getting it. I'm better off knowing who is really supportive than the ones who really don't care. I don't have to waste time on them anymore. I could never ask for help but I have a good friend who kept calling me on that. Saying you can ask for help you know. You don't have to do this alone. Its taken awhile to learn to pick up the phone and ask and its hard and scary but it gets better and I feel so much freer now.
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 froggie2 |
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#19
Oct 16, 2006, 03:11 PM
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Hey hun...I am not very good at asking either. or letting on that I need others. It has gotten me into relationships that are now unsatisfying.... because nobody has ever known me to need anyone or anything.. I have been the rock... and now I am basically gravel.. broken pieces of that rock.. yet they know nothing.
There isn't anything wrong with needing to be told you are valuable.. loved. and needed..and there isn't anything weak about that..it means you are human.Feel free to pm me too if you need to talk.I get it.. Meanwhile.. hang in there...Faith
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Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see. |
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#20
Oct 16, 2006, 04:52 PM
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thank you froggie....and faithis alive...both of you seem to know what I mean...you get it...thank you for caring!!! and I am feeling better today!! Thank you again everybody who tried to make me feel better....I really do appreciate it...and needed it...I admit it!!!
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#21
Oct 16, 2006, 09:03 PM
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It's a natural gift for many of us "sensitive beings" to be empathetic toward others. We understand someone's pain well and can really feel for them.
Of course...being in the limelight can be very uncomfortable for us...therefore it being hard to talk about our own problems. This is the way we are natuarally. Try to understand your feelings and the way you...just are. Asking for help can be difficult but sometimes it is SOOO necessary. You are doing the right thing by asking those who understand and have "like minds" for help. I find it helpful to seek out more sensitive ones for comfort as certain "other" personalities may be draining and difficult....and may carry a '"learned behavior stigma" that just worsens my depression. Look about you...we always gravitate toward those we are comfortable with. Try to keep smiling...most don't know if it's fake or not anyway....and those that might....well maybe you just might be able to talk to them. God bless and comfort... m.b.
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#22
Oct 16, 2006, 10:52 PM
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bethsway glad to hear today is a little better sometimes thats all we need and sometimes thats all we get but keep the faith everyday is a new day.............. and i too have a hard time asking for help or just picking the phone up but i do force myself at times to at least write an email to someone to make me feel a little better when i can't speak which is most the time
__________________
Don't give up It's just the hurt that you hide When you're lost inside I'll...I'll be there to find you Don't give up Because you want to burn bright If darkness blinds you I will shine to guide you Everybody wants to be understood |
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#23
Oct 17, 2006, 02:58 AM
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moodyblu you are so right...I can truly empathize with people...when they are hurting I feel their pain also...but so hard to admit my own...thank you for your kind words and insite...and arod...yes I am feeling better just now...thank you for your support...Everybody has been so kind during my dark abiss...!!
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