[frownupsidedown]

This time of year I feel extremely sad and alone. Two years ago, I spent Christmas in a state mental hospital and the memories of that experience come back at this time of year and are overwhelming. What's worse is no one in my family understands what its like for me at this time of year and seem confused over why I'm not looking forward to family get togethers over the holidays. They think that since I'm surrounded by happy family members, I should be excited to celebrate the holidays. Then I get even more depressed because I realize how alone I am with my feelings and feel like such a horrible person for not being able to put these feelings aside.

How do I feel happy about the holidays?

[Little Lulu]

I agree, the holidays are very over-rated (for me). I don't even shoot forhappy this time of year - I just try to be pleasant and get through it all. Try taking some pressure off yourself by seeing if this idea fits for you ... it is not your job to make others happy by enjoying or not enjoying what they do. It is possible to co-exist with others and yet be individuals in what brings each of you pleasure. The holidays don't do it for me either - I go through the motions but can't wait until they are over and I can work on an art project which is something I love doing. But I realize that some people are goo-goo over Christmas.

Here is a suggestion to feel a little bit part of it all feel and feel good about yourself during this season - do something nice for a couple of people who appear to need it. I take a few lonely neighbors some art I've made during the year. Makes me feel good and connects me to others who need love like I do.

PS - I used to fret over having to go back to the hospital but now I tell myself that it is OK if I have to ... it may be where I need to be and there is nothing wrong with that. That takes the pressure off also.

Hugs to you. Sounds like you are doing pretty good, even though it may not feel like it.

[gayleggg]

The holidays are stressful even for the mentally healthy, so I'm not surprised at how many of us here have issues with it. I thought my husband and I were spending Thanksgiving alone only to find out last night that my daughter and son-in-law are coming and we are having a Thanksgiving here with all the trimmings. My daughter said she would do all the cooking but it will still be stressful for me with all the activity going on.

I guess we endure and just get through it. And of course put on our fake smile.

[Clara22]

Hi
I do not dislike Holidays but I have had several types of experiences about them. During my childhood Holidays were a blast. My father wanted to share with everyone so ofter our house was full of people, mostly family members and friends. My mom used to be bitter sometimes because it was a lot of work for us as the hosts. After my car accident that left me disabled, I had to spend some Holidays at the hospital, but that was fine, too. Also, a couple of time, as my mom was too negative, I excused myself and celebrated holidays with people that needed companion or help. After my father died Holidays changed. I think he was the one that kept us together. Then I went to live overseas, I spent Holidays mostly by myself, sometimes I could visit somebody that needed a bit of companion or somebody to cook for them. I never had the joy I used to have during Holidays when my dad was alive again.