[Craftybeth]

The last couple of days have not been great. I feel that compared to everyone else, I suck. Completely worthless. I feel like I've messed up my life and I'm tired of being unhappy. Why does everyone else seem to be happy? I've started to feel like maybe I don't deserve to be happy for whatever reason and that I'll never be happy again. I read some of the posts here and think that anything I write won't be as clear and helpful as everyone else. I tell myself that I shouldn't complain because others have it way worse than I do. It has been a hard year topped off by the death of my mom last week. I hope this isn't the start of a severe episode but I haven't felt happy in so long, I'm not sure how I would tell the difference. I'm tired of everything being such a struggle, I'm tired of pretending to be fine, I'm tired of not being able to do anything right and I'm tired of being exhausted all the time.

I just want to sleep for a long time.

[FeelingOpaque]

I know what you mean, I hate feeling exhausted after just waking up and then barely being able to care throughout the day enough to do anything.

[vans1974]

Hey Craftybeth- I hate being that depressed and exhausted! I love Aplenzin for depression and it's also activating and weight neutral! Best of luck!!

[silenceheals]

I feel you. Feel that way frequently. We will get through this. Never give up!

Sent from my ST23i using Tapatalk

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by vans1974

Hey Craftybeth- I hate being that depressed and exhausted! I love Aplenzin for depression and it's also activating and weight neutral! Best of luck!!

I hadn't heard of Aplenzin but looked it up and it is expensive without insurance. Even though the Prozac seems to be working somewhat. I'm going to have to switch off the Latuda as well due to cost.

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by Craftybeth

The last couple of days have not been great. I feel that compared to everyone else, I suck. Completely worthless. I feel like I've messed up my life and I'm tired of being unhappy. Why does everyone else seem to be happy? I've started to feel like maybe I don't deserve to be happy for whatever reason and that I'll never be happy again. I read some of the posts here and think that anything I write won't be as clear and helpful as everyone else. I tell myself that I shouldn't complain because others have it way worse than I do. It has been a hard year topped off by the death of my mom last week. I hope this isn't the start of a severe episode but I haven't felt happy in so long, I'm not sure how I would tell the difference. I'm tired of everything being such a struggle, I'm tired of pretending to be fine, I'm tired of not being able to do anything right and I'm tired of being exhausted all the time.

I just want to sleep for a long time.

The depression is causing you to have all the negative thoughts. Have you seen a doctor or therapist? Might help to work on your self-esteem. I know mine causes me a lot of problems.

[gma45]

Sounds like you have been though a lot lately. Sorry for your loss. Please don't compare yourself to everyone else, everyone has their own way of dealing with things. I am sure you are a good person. I understand sleeping sounds good right now but try and get yourself out there even if just for a bit. I wish you the best and be good to yourself. You are not alone.

[Damage, Inc]

First of all I'm sorry to read you've lost your Mom. Losing my Dad back in 2008 was the start of my collapse into the darkness of depression. Back then sleep was my main escape from my feelings. Recently, I've been dealing with insomnia and wake up every morning tired and irritable. I've been avoiding sleeping medications because I know once I start, I'll become dependent. I'm using Melatonin which seems to help me get to sleep initially, but I still wake up throughout the night and am unable to return to sleep.
Hope you're feeling better soon!

[mulan]

I guess I know what you feel, I guess most of us have been feeling the same way. I can't be anything else besides than tired, I can't do anything right, the others seem better than me in every task and I have been in the dark for so long that I sincerely dought that better days will come. But someone said to me in the other day that there are many kinds of problems, easier and harder, but is inside our head that they realy exist. Don't know if it is heapfull but it gives me the hope of being happy once my head becomes fine. You are worth, you just haven't the opportunity to realize that. I'm very sorry about your mother, it most be very hard.

[Craftybeth]

I meant to reply earlier but I had zero energy. I appreciate everyone's support and suggestions and it's nice to be reminded that I'm not the only one going through this. I am already on meds (Prozac and Wellbutrin) and I have been considering therapy. My only concern is if I'll be able to afford it after the first of the year. My insurance is changing and basically won't pay for anything, even the meds, until I pay the deductible ($1700). We'll see.

[Marla500]

I second everyone here!! try to hang in there!! wishing you the best

[Fuzzybear]