[sbuonaugurio]

I have been depressed since I could remember. About 8 or 9 is my most clearest memory. I am 27 now. have not been able to do anything with my life. I will just start to pick up a hobby and get excited about it, and then depression will grab me again and I won't be able to function. I havent been able to be consistant in school, or in a career, or in any pursuits, because I just become debilitatedly depressed. I've been able to get over the whole obsessing about suicide thing. I've just decided its not an option. even though I - of course, have always loved romancing it. But nope. Im stuck here on this earth til I die a natural death. Just - what to do to pass the time? Living life seems like a joke. I wish I was just someones pet cat. I have no hope for the future, and feel so defeated, I wonder why bother. I could perhaps take ONE online course a semester and sit in bed and do that, but no more than that. I end up getting overwhelmed and giving up and failing classes. I can't show up consistantly. This is like athe a BILLIONTH time i've been depressed, it takes up a good part of the year, perhaps like 8 months of the year? And I just keep holding on, so other people dont have to cry and stuff. And I find dumb **** to amuse myself with, and every once in a while I get some grandious plan to pursue something that will be so wonderful, and i dont go anywhere with it.

so im sick of dreaming. so what. just give me the TV, i suppose I'll make do like everyone else. Distract myself untill I'm 85. goodnight

CAN ANYONE IDENTIFY!?

[mulan]

I identify a litle bit, not that I'm doing nothing with my life, but it is hard to do so. And the biggest achievment I realy want to do in my life is staying in the couch, in the internet playing stupid games in wich I don't need to think at all or stay watching TV and series all day. In other words I'm allways willing for some time to do nothing, to rest. Of corse I find it stupid, of course I wanted to do more with my life, I constantly keep dreaming that everything is going to be better. I dream that one day I will appear at school so good that everyone will like me and I will have a brilliant career, a family, friends. Living life as a dream turn it easy. But did you got help? I'm trying to, it is hard, but I'm trying. Maybe if you find proper help it gets easier.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Sbuonaugurio.

Originally Posted by sbuonaugurio

CAN ANYONE IDENTIFY!?

Yes, unfortunately. This especially resonates:

Originally Posted by sbuonaugurio

I will just start to pick up a hobby and get excited about it, and then depression will grab me again and I won't be able to function. ...
...I end up getting overwhelmed

Basic question: What treatment have you received? (No need to answer; whatever treatment you've received has not been effective. There may be something out there, however, not yet crossed off the list.)

Please keep posting.

[Fuzzybear]