[shamon86]

2 weeks ago my T sent me to the hospital for my suicidal thoughts. I was there for 5 days and they released me. It was easier to not feel suicidal there because there wasn't anything to deal with. Right now I'm out and the thoughts are still there. I don't trust myself to not do anything because this is the only solution to end my agony that I can think of. What do you do when you've already went inpatient?

[gayleggg]

Tell your therapist how you are feeling. Are you taking medication, if so it may need an adjustment.

[shamon86]

I've already changed meds quite a few times. I feel like everyone has done all they can do, I feel like I've done all I can do. I'm just tired. What so you do when there are no options left.

[Daeva]

Try to keep yourself around people until you can see your T, be open and honest with your T, as also said see a pdoc about medication. Ask for coping mechanisms, writing helps me. Stay strong.

[Daeva]

Sometimes it takes many many drug changes to find the right one, it took my roommate 12 tries.

[too SHy]

of course when I went to hospital for only 2 days I was traumatized beyond belief and wracked with worry for my loved ones I wish you well.

[Sadley]

I don't want to be here either, I'm in the same situation as you. I've already been in-patient for a week (not to mention all sorts of group therapy, and intensive care), and it really didn't help me at all. Meds don't help me.

The part I differ from your story is when you say you felt less suicidal in the hospital since there was nothing to deal with there. I felt the opposite. I felt like it was a huge waste of time, and I have severe anxiety so being locked up in there really did a number of my anxiety. I start to panic and especially so because there are a lot of people in there with aggression and I have seen one patient across from my unit start to throw punches at the nurses. I'm actually kind of surprised that I got out of there safely. Anyways, going in-patient was not a good experience for me.

It isn't the only solution for your agony. You have to change your thinking patterns. I'm not saying I have done this or that it is easy by any means, but that is what I have learned. You have to make jokes about morbid things, smile and talk to people, get outside when the sun is out, and find something you like to do (I still haven't).

One thing that helps me feel "ok" when I'm suicidal is taking care of my hygiene. I don't know how but somehow it makes me feel a tiny bit better about myself. If you have some money, you should go out shopping and buy some new clothes that look good or new shoes. That's what helps me, anyway. Every time I buy a bunch of new clothes and make a "new look" for myself I get compliments by everyone whom I work with. People will notice it. Maybe try changing your look, and it might steer you in the right direction. Take it one thing at a time, don't overwhelm yourself. It is hard sometimes not to overwhelm yourself, but really, it helps if you think of one thing you want to accomplish at a time. Don't give up, do you have any family?

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by shamon86

It was easier to not feel suicidal there because there wasn't anything to deal with.

Would it be possible to evaluate one-by-one all the things you have to deal with and possibly eliminate the one or two worst offenders aggravating your suicidal urges?

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry it's so difficult again.
I do not do well on meds, so my options are limited. I tend to keep with the intensive therapy stuff (or try to), and do my best to keep distracted. As Rohag suggested, are there any ways you can lessen the stress?
For me, going inpatient breaks the cycle of negative thinking and scares me back into balance. I have yet to figure out how to successfully remain "balanced" in the long run, but I think I know what some of my main depression triggers are. I'm working to get them lessened, and to work through my trauma stuff. Is there anything you can pinpoint that may be a start to finding more peace? The holidays tend to be difficult for a lot of people. If that is true for yourself also, is there something you can do to distract from all that?
((hugs))