[Daeva]

People often wonder why I don't talk to them about things, friends and family alike. Well often times it's their ignorant, hurtful, condescending, patronizing remarks. Just tonight my friend goes, "Just go to a happy place." Well ******* why didn't I think of that?

Last week my Gram said, "You just need to stay focused."
Yeah thanks.

This just makes me worse, and gets me angry, angry enough to imagine hurting the other person. Not that I would but it makes me think of it.

[reesecups]

Originally Posted by Daeva

People often wonder why I don't talk to them about things, friends and family alike. Well often times it's their ignorant, hurtful, condescending, patronizing remarks. Just tonight my friend goes, "Just go to a happy place." Well ******* why didn't I think of that?

Last week my Gram said, "You just need to stay focused."
Yeah thanks.

This just makes me worse, and gets me angry, angry enough to imagine hurting the other person. Not that I would but it makes me think of it.

The last time I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation, I had one Twinkie of a student (don't know if she was studying psych nursing or a student social worker), but waited until the regular social worker left then said "everyone is depressed, you just need to start walking and go to church."

I was so enraged I couldn't speak. I just wanted to reach out and choke her. I sat there with my face covered and finally she mentioned I could go back to bed. I don't think I can ever forgive her he ignorance.

[Daeva]

Originally Posted by reesecups

The last time I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation, I had one Twinkie of a student (don't know if she was studying psych nursing or a student social worker), but waited until the regular social worker left then said "everyone is depressed, you just need to start walking and go to church."

I was so enraged I couldn't speak. I just wanted to reach out and choke her. I sat there with my face covered and finally she mentioned I could go back to bed. I don't think I can ever forgive her he ignorance.

People are so unbelievably stupid and cruel. Like they know everything and they never walked in our shoes. people like that obviously have never been through depression and shouldn't be giving advice on **** they know nothing about.

[Martek]

I'm sick of being told I have to go on for my kids, like I really don't know that, really that makes everything ok I'll just quit being depressed since I have kids.

[Daeva]

Originally Posted by Martek

I'm sick of being told I have to go on for my kids, like I really don't know that, really that makes everything ok I'll just quit being depressed since I have kids.

That would DEFINITELY make me want to strangle someone

[bipolarchickk]

I've had many people tell me to just go for a walk and ill be fine.. well little do they know walks don't cure everything! One day I went to my pdoc for my appt and was suicidial. She sent me home telling me to walk it off and what do u know a few hours later I ODed ... Most of them don't know what it really feels like.. but that's what we have people on PC for.. they understand.

[Daeva]

Originally Posted by bipolarchickk

I've had many people tell me to just go for a walk and ill be fine.. well little do they know walks don't cure everything! One day I went to my pdoc for my appt and was suicidial. She sent me home telling me to walk it off and what do u know a few hours later I ODed ... Most of them don't know what it really feels like.. but that's what we have people on PC for.. they understand.

Omg walking makes me worse, I've tried it and literally when I'm sad/depressed or angry if I walk it intensifies the emotions, so no walks don't always work. WHat a terrible and irresponsible thing for your pdoc to say, do you have a new one now?

[bipolarchickk]

Originally Posted by Daeva

Omg walking makes me worse, I've tried it and literally when I'm sad/depressed or angry if I walk it intensifies the emotions, so no walks don't always work. WHat a terrible and irresponsible thing for your pdoc to say, do you have a new one now?

I feel the same way! Unfortunately I still have the same one its very hard to get a pdoc around here. I've even had a few stop seeing me because I'm "too hard to handle"

[Daeva]

Originally Posted by bipolarchickk

I feel the same way! Unfortunately I still have the same one its very hard to get a pdoc around here. I've even had a few stop seeing me because I'm "too hard to handle"

Yeah "too hard to handle" more like they are just incompetent.

[neutrino]

Makes me think of this: http://i.imgur.com/pP3rO.jpg. I hate it when people say things like that.

[Daeva]

Omg I LOVE that strip just for that!

[neutrino]

Originally Posted by Daeva

Omg I LOVE that strip just for that!

Yep, especially the part about the paper cut. As if that's even close to having a smashed hand.

[Daeva]

Originally Posted by neutrino

Yep, especially the part about the paper cut. As if that's even close to having a smashed hand.

Oh yeah, just like when people say: "It's not that bad other's have it worse off then you." Well geez guess i'm all happy now. And my pain doesn't mean nothing. Thank you for invalidating and devaluing me.

[thevoyage]

Originally Posted by Daeva

People often wonder why I don't talk to them about things, friends and family alike. Well often times it's their ignorant, hurtful, condescending, patronizing remarks. Just tonight my friend goes, "Just go to a happy place." Well ******* why didn't I think of that?

Last week my Gram said, "You just need to stay focused."
Yeah thanks.

This just makes me worse, and gets me angry, angry enough to imagine hurting the other person. Not that I would but it makes me think of it.

I still remember the last time a person said "You just need to stay focused." to me. Thank you. Problem solve! I then had to go calm myself down from the enormous wave of emotions. I was obsessed with what she said for quite a while because of how she made me feel. I then let it go and told myself: she is no one. She doesn't know me. She doesn't worth my time.

[Daeva]

Originally Posted by thevoyage

I still remember the last time a person said "You just need to stay focused." to me. Thank you. Problem solve! I then had to go calm myself down from the enormous wave of emotions. I was obsessed with what she said for quite a while because of how she made me feel. I then let it go and told myself: she is no one. She doesn't know me. She doesn't worth my time.

It's just their way of being dismissive, like you don't matter. But you do

[Dionysius]

I know exactly what you mean Daeva, I have said before that unless a person has been depressed they don`t know what it`s like. I mean nothing anyone can say will help. All the "pull yourself together" cliches just serve to make you/me angry, we get annoyed because we have already thought those things, like must carry on for the kids` sake, etc, so we take peoples well meant "advice" as an insult, as if we haven`t the capacity to think. Just my opinion, regards Dionysius.

[akekaomen]

It's this very problem that causes me to avoid people in general. It negatively impacts my work and enjoyment of life because I can't deal with another person telling me to be happy for what I have and calm down. As if it were that easy.

[Daeva]

Originally Posted by Dionysius

I know exactly what you mean Daeva, I have said before that unless a person has been depressed they don`t know what it`s like. I mean nothing anyone can say will help. All the "pull yourself together" cliches just serve to make you/me angry, we get annoyed because we have already thought those things, like must carry on for the kids` sake, etc, so we take peoples well meant "advice" as an insult, as if we haven`t the capacity to think. Just my opinion, regards Dionysius.

Originally Posted by akekaomen

It's this very problem that causes me to avoid people in general. It negatively impacts my work and enjoyment of life because I can't deal with another person telling me to be happy for what I have and calm down. As if it were that easy.

Sometimes I wish people could live in our heads and bodies and lives for a week

[1776]

Mmm, most of my therapists/docs have been pretty good, but sometimes I do wonder if they got into it for the money rather than to help.

The therapist I have now comes up with some whopper ideas about how I should deal with my problems. He seems to think that just thinking I'm not depressed will make it magically go away. He suggests exercise, which is sensible, knowing walking is painful for me.

I realize our physicians/therapists are trying to do right by us, but sometimes they just don't seem to think before they speak.

[thevoyage]

Originally Posted by Daeva

Sometimes I wish people could live in our heads and bodies and lives for a week

I honestly really agree with you. Whenever I talk to some people, I'll always concern of what I say. I care about them and how they will feel. It's not that I presume that they have bad days everyday, but we all have our personal weaknesses that are like a never ending storm. If I feel that I might have said something unpleasant to someone, I will feel really horrible about it. In anycase, I think that I/You don't lose anything for have a little compassion to other people or other living beings, and I feel that it shouldn't be something you have to force or pretend yourself into doing or inventing. Everyone surely must have it in them - at least hopefully everyone do :-)

[Greylash]

I try to explain that it's like being stuck in a nightmare. All of the awful feelings, the hopelessness, the fear; all the terrible things you say to yourself - they all feel completely real and true. You can't just "wake up," or "pull yourself together." It's only when the meds kick in, life turns around a bit, and you elevate out of the pit that you can look back and see some of the bull you were buying when you were down at the deepest points.

[Daeva]

Yep! Alot of times I think the only "real" people are theo nes who have suffered

[nija43]

My therapist has been in the profession for over 30 years. She has personally known, and heard about, psychiatrists who have never worked in the therapy field..... all they do is prescribe medication. She says some of them are very good at doing that and do make a positive difference, but they don't have a clue when it comes to working on the therapy side of things.

In my case, I've been summoned for jury duty. When I told my therapist, she immediately said that there was no way I could do that. I agreed with her which is why I told her about it. But to be excused from jury duty, I need a verification of my conditions from my pdoc. She said I should go see my pdoc because verification from "just" a therapist won't work.

I explained to my pdoc why I didn't feel like I could do jury duty and that my therapist agreed with me. He said there was no way he was going to sign off on that because he thinks I can, in fact, perform my jury duty. Then he asked how long I have been in therapy. When I said 3 years, he actually said that I should find another therapist because there is no reason for me to have been in therapy for that long. I tried to explain how far along I have come during those three years, especially since I can be a very difficult patient sometimes, but he didn't want to hear it.

Instead of finding another therapist, I think I should find another psychiatrist. But in the meantime, I'm on the hook for jury duty.

[lostfeeling25]

I agree completely with all of these things said. To be honest, not many people in my life know how depressed I am. I guess I hide it well, but that gets tiring. I don't talk about it because I know people will respond in the ways you have all mentioned. I once told my father years ago and he said "well, why do you think you're depressed?" Like I just woke up one day and decided I wanted to be depressed. I found it even more ridiculous because he himself sees a psychologist, and his mother and sisters also suffered from depression. I never said anything to him again. It is too difficult to explain to someone who has never really experienced it.

[BlueSkies46]

Originally Posted by Daeva

People often wonder why I don't talk to them about things, friends and family alike. Well often times it's their ignorant, hurtful, condescending, patronizing remarks. Just tonight my friend goes, "Just go to a happy place." Well ******* why didn't I think of that?

Last week my Gram said, "You just need to stay focused."
Yeah thanks.

This just makes me worse, and gets me angry, angry enough to imagine hurting the other person. Not that I would but it makes me think of it.

People who aren't depressed don't even come close to understanding what we go through. Now-a-days people use the term "depressed" and "sad" interchangeably. They're completely wrong. Sadness will go away with time and not tear a person apart as where depressions always there and completely destroys a person. I've had people tell me "it's okay, I know how you feel but go to bed and get some sleep and tomorrow will be better I promise". I have problems sleeping and right from there that "advice" meant nothing to me. It doesn't go away over night. But the one response that sent me over the top was "you're being a tad bit dramatic". I had to ignore the person for a day before I could calmly reply and not freak out. I'm still not too happy and can barely say anything without being rude and mean. The ignorant responses makes me feel like it's all me. I'm the problem. I'm weak and pathetic. It makes me so angry and put myself down even more. It's that entire scenario that has made me join this site. I hope to find people who do understand and won't be so clueless and ignorant