End of the rope

I can't do this anymore. I'm at the end of my rope. No one will listen to me. I tried talking to two of my friends but they either were way too insensitive or didn't understand. I have no support. I could slip away in an instant and not a soul would notice. I'm completely alone in this. I'm won't be worth anything until I'm dead. It's the end of the rope for me. I'm done. Going, going, gone. Forever. All I wanted was a friend to talk to and who would listen. I guess dreams don't always come true. I guess this is what I get for trying to be a nice person. Depression, depression no one knows about. I guess I will always suffer, suffer in silence. I'm a worthless nothing. I have yet to find a good reason to stay here. Alive, I mean. All that's left of me is my rotten, maggot infested heart. It's worthless, just like me. I don't think one person I've ever known has ever genuinely cared, even for just a minute. No one can tolerate my existence, now I can't even stand the thought of being here. This is my last "cry for help".

i'm very sorry you are struggling so much, many of us here know the feeling all too well.
i hope you find something to feel happy about i really do

Have you spoken to your Dr, have you signed up with a T?

Those who haven’t been there, find it hard to relate so though I can appreciate that it hurts a lot that those you care about do not seem to know how to help/want to help… sadly that is an expected outcome when we reach out.

Though it can be hard and scary to reach out to the correct channels (professional help), I would really recommend you doing so at this time.

Please hang in there and fight… it will mean taking things a day at a time, but it’s a start

Hello Italianfire-

I am so sorry to read about the pain and despair that you are experiencing. I too understand what you have described and often feel the same way. Especially the holidays-it's so hard and so sad. I agree with ToeJam-those who haven't been through this find it difficult to understand-but mostly I think it scares them. People don't like to feel uncomfortable and often times they tend to turn away when we need someone the most. When we feel as you do it is so hard to imagine anything good in this world. It's hard to think of any reason to stay. But you deserve to be listened to, you deserve to be heard, you deserve to have support. As bad as things have been for you-you never know what might happen in the future-what might happen maybe even tomorrow, something positive, something that will be the catalyst to slowly turn things around in a good way. No one knows what might be, what might happen in the future to turn things around. Please stick around, talk to us here-many of us do understand and can empathize with your pain. I hope that you will return to your thread and let us know how you are doing. You do have support here, you do have people who care. You are not alone. I wish you all the best.

Very well said, Crimsonblue, I always think like that, that something positive IS going to happen, I hate the "cloud" of despondency that sometimes descends, but I will continue to fight it, and I really hope Italianfire will do the same.

Thank you, Dionysius. I appreciate your kind words.

I hope you are doing a little better now, Italianfire.

It's tough when you're all alone and you feel like no one is listening to you. Actually, I'm going through the same things right now. I guess I just wanted to let you know that there's more of us out there than you might think, you're not alone :-)

I don't have a solution but I do care about you.