Hopelessness, Unemployment, Fear

Sorry for such a bleak title for this thread, but I need to address all these issues.

I'm a college grad for two years now, at 23 years old, and I've been home and unemployed for most of that time, trying to get my life together. I'm really depressed about my life because I believe I should study something, but I don't know what that something is, nothing inspires me.

My hobbies are drawing, writing, singing and video games, none of which I can make a career out of without fear of unemployment. I need a plan B.

I'm introverted and don't like dealing with people, in fact, if I could check out of society and be by myself, I would. I'm trying to find a day job I can tolerate, but am more concerned about the big picture. What I can do for a living in the long term.

I have a potential AmeriCorps opportunity, but it is away from my home and it involves teams- volunteer this, and service that. I would only do it to pass the time and have something good on my resume. I'm having struggles not taking it because I really don't want to do it, but I can't remain home and unemployed, as my family will bug me. AmeriCorps is a huge undertaking, and since it would involve me leaving my family and friends, I really wish not to be doing it, especially if it gets to be overwhelming and overstimulating. But I fear for lack of an alternative to get day jobs, so it's a terrifying and difficult choice. I'm very frightened and depressed about the whole thing- I wish to turn it down more than anything else, but fear that nothing else will be lined up for me.

So the real question is, if not that, what then? I'll still be asking this question in 10 months time anyway, whether I do the program or not.

Kabuto - welcome to Psych Central. Your situation may feel bleak but there are a lot of positives. You've graduated from college and you have insight into who you are, what you like and don't like, and where you limitations might be. If your gut says AmeriCoprs sounds like too large a commitment, then it probably is. You may have to give some on the job issue, though, and take something initially that wouldn't necessarily be your favorite choice.

Here is something I have learned with age and experience - frequently the way isn't clear but if I can get up some momentum with SOMETHING, then the path starts to become clearer and the big picture comes into focus. The first real job I had was not what I ended up doing later in life (thank goodness!). Thinking too far ahead can be detrimental to what you need to do in the present.

Your hobbies sound neat. I have a friend who sings in a community choir and loves it. It gets her out, too.

Hello & Welcome, Kabuto. Do you know anyone with a good knowledge both of you and AmeriCorps who could advise you on the suitability of the program for you?

Regardless, the idea of using some kind of structured program for entering your future is rational.

Have you been screened for depression or had a medical exam recently?

Make yourself at home!

Haha, yeah, well, regardless, I wish I had more time to decide on this AmeriCorps thing. I do feel depressed, and I fear it will activate during my service, especially since I'm not thrilled about doing it in the first place.

I think the best way I would describe my view on the world is- noisy. I seek a simple existence- and I always want the easy way out in life. I want an easy life with little noise, and few problems. Because of this, I think I'm an INFP HSP- which is a big challenge living in the loud and noisy New York City. I want a laid back, care free lifestyle- if I had my druthers, I would work as a painter, or something, (or I wouldn't do anything) but life and practicality won't let me.

I'm also 23, at home and currently unemployeed college grad. It's tough to find a job that won't suck the life out of you in America. And that will certainly be way worse for someone dealing with depression. Ever thought of going to a farm for a bit? I did for 11 months and it was the best I've felt since I was a kid. Helped my anxiety and depression so much. There are all kinds of internships and work exchanges like wwolfing (work on organic local farms). I found it to be a really good job for an introverted person. I was getting a stipend, all my food covered and a place to live. A quiet place at a pretty farm in a solitude area. The people were really down to earth and genuine. I felt really healthy cause I was eating healthy food, learning a lot, using my body and getting lots of fresh air. It broke me out of a real difficult place with depression and has given me a lot of tools. I did have to work with people but if I wanted quit I could just do my work quietly for hours. I got to do all kinds of projects. Doing something new every couple hours. If that sounds interesting to you, I've got some good resources. I've found that if I make radical changes to my life, it jars me out of the depression I'm in. Moving to a farm changed so much quickly, like the type of food I ate, how much I was outside, the kind of people I was around etc.

Do you want to make writing into a career? Because there are ways to do it. Writers have a bright future because of how marketing is changing. You don't make anything at first but then you aren't making anything at all . If you want some links let me know.

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twister744- I love farming, but find it impossible to make a living out of it! Unless you have suggestions otherwise? I've actually WWOOFed for quite a while.

Michanne- I would love resources on being a writer too. Thanks to the both of you.

I had a feeling you'd like farming, guess I was right. I know exactly what you mean. I don't know how to make a living out of farming really. They do have internships out west that usually start in April and go till november. A lot of them paid 100-200 a week in a stipend. Considered your room and board is covered, that can be a nice option to bring in a little cash and live independently in one place for a little while. Definitely not a long term one. I find that whenever I think long term about a living I get hopeless so I try to just go one step at a time. I'm currently working on finding a way to save up a little bit and then just go to places like farms and communities where you can work for your room and board and maybe earn a stipend. I try to not spend money as much as I can and find places to live and work. The place I was at for about 4-5 months this summer gave me room and board and I really didn't need to spend money the whole time there. I'm looking into medicaid. If you have a college degree you could be a substitute teacher. Definitely not the best job for an introverted person but if you could just find any job and keep reminding yourself that it is short term even if it doesn't feel like the right fit. Once you've got a couple grand saved go find a fun place to live and work and travel around to different places for a while. As you go one step at a time you might find a pertinent job that works for you. You are young enough that you don't have to be thinking about a career yet despite what our society tells us. I find that going to different places that pay you in room in board means that a small amount of money saved can last you a really long time. There are all kinds of places, like retreat centers, farms, ski resorts etc that do work exchanges. Next winter I want to live in a ski resort and work. You could find ways to make your passions your career. You never know. But I definitely find the idea of picking a career and then pursuing it a little outdated. I think it is better to just go one step at a time if you don't know what to do and see where it takes you since our world is changing so rapidly it really can be hard to plan your life ahead like a lot of our parents were able to do. Who knows what our economy and country will be like in 30 years. There are some options in Alaska that pay well cause no one wants to live there. Probably a good place if you like solitude.

Kabuto, I can relate. I graduated 24 years ago with a triple major, history, political science, east Central European affairs. A couple of years later the Soviet Union Collapsed an my degree was obsolete. I taught myself PC Support and Network Admin and did that until my first major breakdown 12 years ago. I have not held a year round full time job since. I'm too afraid to get sucked back in the trap of emotionally abusive bosses and HR departments that don't care.

About 8 months ago I got reacquainted with my passion for history. There are not too many jobs for a BA in Soviet History. While dreaming of a masters at Oxford I learned that it is the SKILLS required to enjoy your passion that will get you a job. In my case, I can look for jobs as a researcher, a marketing researcher, I can write copy for PR agencies, write year end reports for businesses, I teach skiing, etc. I recommend you make a list of the skills you have, for example in singing you know the importance of following steps. You can't mix the chords around! This skill could lead to being a lab assistant or PC Maintenance, anything that requires you to follow step by step instructions. As for your masters, if you are not sure, don't be afraid to take some time off until you find your passion. I ended up with three majors I've never used because I didn't know what I wanted to be. I've thought of different advanced degrees but have not taken the plunge. At this point in my life if I get a masters it will be for me to fulfill a passion.